Atheists Do Too Understand the Meaning of the Season

For all my Christian friends and family:

Yes, it’s true I’m an atheist, but that doesn’t mean I don’t understand the true meaning of Christmas. Here, I’ll prove it to you:

 

Merry Christmas! May Jesus come down the chimney and leave a quarter under your pillow for every one of your teeth!

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  • Aspect Sign

    I think your mixing up your holidays.

    At christmas jesus comes down your chimney and steals all your quarters (as well as credit card information, Bank acct.#’s etc.) and replaces them with cheaply made imported trinkets. Then at easter zombie jesus sneaks in while you are at church and hides rotten eggs and dead rabbits all around the house (as well as stealing the aforementioned items.)

    It is actually Pat Robertson that comes in for your teeth (removing them is not pleasant.) He does leave quarters but alas they’re counterfeit.

  • Aspect Sign

    I think your mixing up your holidays.

    At christmas jesus comes down your chimney and steals all your quarters (as well as credit card information, Bank acct.#’s etc.) and replaces them with cheaply made imported trinkets. Then at easter zombie jesus sneaks in while you are at church and hides rotten eggs and dead rabbits all around the house (as well as stealing the aforementioned items.)

    It is actually Pat Robertson that comes in for your teeth (removing them is not pleasant.) He does leave quarters but alas they’re counterfeit.

  • ‘Tis Himself, OM.

    Where does the Hogfather fit in to all this?

  • ‘Tis Himself, OM.

    Where does the Hogfather fit in to all this?

  • HP

    Sure, chimney Jesus is fun for the kids, but I’m just looking forward to relaxing with a beer and watching the college bowel games.

    • Josh

      Bowel games, eh? I’m not sure I wanted to know about that.

  • HP

    Sure, chimney Jesus is fun for the kids, but I’m just looking forward to relaxing with a beer and watching the college bowel games.

    • Josh

      Bowel games, eh? I’m not sure I wanted to know about that.

  • geocatherder

    Merry Christmas to all!

  • geocatherder

    Merry Christmas to all!

  • davidct

    Merry Christmas – Imaginary Jesus came down my imaginary chimney and left imaginary quarters. Its a miracle!!

    I woke up to see on the BBC that the Pope is decrying the commercialization of Christmas. He is doing this from his gilded temple in his gold trimmed robes and hat in a Vegas style ceremony. He does not seem to realize that he owes the attention Christmas receives largely to the very thing he criticizes. Just as early Christians adopted the pagan rituals to promote their cause, today’s believers ride the tide of the major commercial event of the year to promote their superstitions. Do they really think Christmas would be a big deal based on religion alone.

    It’s too late to get a new irony meter for Christmas. Mine is fried!!

  • davidct

    Merry Christmas – Imaginary Jesus came down my imaginary chimney and left imaginary quarters. Its a miracle!!

    I woke up to see on the BBC that the Pope is decrying the commercialization of Christmas. He is doing this from his gilded temple in his gold trimmed robes and hat in a Vegas style ceremony. He does not seem to realize that he owes the attention Christmas receives largely to the very thing he criticizes. Just as early Christians adopted the pagan rituals to promote their cause, today’s believers ride the tide of the major commercial event of the year to promote their superstitions. Do they really think Christmas would be a big deal based on religion alone.

    It’s too late to get a new irony meter for Christmas. Mine is fried!!

  • ed

    I’m atheist, raised Catholic. It doesn’t hurt me to say “Merry Christmas”, although the older I get the sillier it all gets.

  • ed

    I’m atheist, raised Catholic. It doesn’t hurt me to say “Merry Christmas”, although the older I get the sillier it all gets.

  • hauntfox

    Christmas isn’t all bad… it gets much-needed money into the economy (of course, most of the manufacturing jobs are going to China…. %$#*!!!!!!) and a lot of us either get a free day from work or extra pay for working the “sacred” holiday. Seeing family once a year isn’t too bad.
    Then again, it would be nice if we could do away with all the “Jesus is the reason for the season!” bullshit. I’ve been incredibly tempted to tape laminated flying spaghetti monster pictures to the nativity scenes in public areas.
    Hope you had a satisfactory non-denominational capitalist winter gift-giving holiday :-p

  • hauntfox

    Christmas isn’t all bad… it gets much-needed money into the economy (of course, most of the manufacturing jobs are going to China…. %$#*!!!!!!) and a lot of us either get a free day from work or extra pay for working the “sacred” holiday. Seeing family once a year isn’t too bad.
    Then again, it would be nice if we could do away with all the “Jesus is the reason for the season!” bullshit. I’ve been incredibly tempted to tape laminated flying spaghetti monster pictures to the nativity scenes in public areas.
    Hope you had a satisfactory non-denominational capitalist winter gift-giving holiday :-p

  • Grayson

    Jesus who?

  • Grayson

    Jesus who?


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