Shameless Attack on the Atheist Food Supply

KeeeRYST, now what?

It’s not enough that they want to keep us out of public office, or force us to touch Bibles in court, now they want to interfere with our tasty atheist snacks.

Oklahoma state senator Ralph Shortey (he of the snappy, cutting-edge web page) seems convinced that some food coming into his state contains portions of human fetuses. And he wants to ban it. He has introduced Senate Bill 1418, “An act relating to food; prohibiting the manufacture or sale of food or products which use aborted human fetuses …”

Pretty much the entire bill is this single short paragraph:

No person or entity shall manufacture or knowingly sell food or any other product intended for human consumption which contains aborted human fetuses in the ingredients or which used aborted human fetuses in the research or development of any of the ingredients.

Ludicrous as it sounds, the bill actually makes sense … if you can think in that twisted, maliciously false way that GOP lawmakers do so well.

The real aim of the bill is likely an end-run attack on stem cell research – apparently inspired by a group called Children of God for Life.

Children of God for Life argues that any food made with technology that has anything to do with stem cell research equals dead fetuses.

Damn. There go the baby back ribs.

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  • unbound

    Good chance that my representative is involved. He was actually stupid enough to believe the e-mail rumors that the Chinese ate babies and made a public statement decrying the practice. Been trying to get that moron voted out for many years now…

    • N. Nescio

      Geez. I nearly forgot about that nasty bit of lying for Jesus. I still remember seeing an article from a Catholic magazine regarding Chinese selling aborted fetuses as health food hanging in the local Knights of Columbus bar, back when I still believed that nonsense.

  • Irene Delse

    “… food or any other product intended for human consumption which contains aborted human fetuses in the ingredients or which used aborted human fetuses in the research or development of any of the ingredients.”

    Yep, the language of that bill definitely provide grounds for banning all sorts of food products, but also cosmetics and drugs, as long as somewhere, somehow, what they call “aborted human fetuses” were involved in any capacity. (No matter that it’s actually microscopic embryos, as in stem cell research, and derived from FIV, not abortions; or even non embryonic tissues like the placentas used in some cosmetics.)

  • ‘Tis Himself, OM.

    Damn, what are we going to get for snacking at the monthly barbeque and orgy if we can’t have aborted fetuses? :-þ

    • Aliasalpha

      Surely thats only for commecial use though, nothing stopping you from DIY-ing it. After all they say the tastiest food is stuff you’ve grown yourself

  • Randomfactor

    You guys are WAY over-reacting here.

    If you use the slow-cooker, the toddlers come out almost as tender anyway. And there’s more meat on ‘em, too!

    • Didaktylos

      I thought everybody knows that we all prefer the post-born anyway, ‘cos they’ve had time to develop some flavour.

  • geocatherder

    Damn. This morning I heard a news report on the radio that there’s been some success in restoring sight to sufferers of age-related wet macular degeneration using embryonic stem cells. (If only my dad had lived long enough to succeed with this therapy!) I bet, when proponents of this bill read the news, they’ll happily extend the bill to cover anyone who benefits from embryonic stem cell therapy…

    I was going to insert some epithet here, but then I realized I don’t have the vocabulary to describe these people. Nothing I can think of is vile enough.

  • Phillip IV

    Damn. There go the baby back ribs.

    Keep heart! The bill only mentions manufacture and sale of food, so hunting for private consumption would still be legal.

    Seriously, though, the bill is actually devilish clever – it is aimed at stem-cell research, but by being phrased deceptively broad and featuring a massive “yuck” factor, it places political opponents into a pretty tight spot. No politician wants to be considered a supporter of dead-baby-pizza, and something along the lines of “I oppose this bill because it is unnecessary and serves a hidden agenda” might already be difficult to communicate to low-information voters.

    • Phledge

      “No politician wants to be considered a supporter of dead-baby-pizza, and something along the lines of “I oppose this bill because it is unnecessary and serves a hidden agenda” might already be difficult to communicate to low-information voters Fox News viewers.”

      FTFY.

  • F

    Never mind the inappropriate Bible-touching, these people really think someone is selling Soylent Green?

  • David Hart

    Well there’s your loophole right there. Embryonic stem cells are not by any stretch of the imagination aborted human foetuses, assuming you get them from in-vitro-fertilised eggs. The thing that you extract from the ovary is an egg, not a foetus, so and it is extracted from the ovary, not from the uterus or fallopian tube, so it cannot be said to have been aborted anyway.

    Okay, the proponents of this law are still theocratic morons, but it’s a bit of theocratic moronitude which won’t actually prevent stem cell research, just make the procuring of stem cells slightly more inconvenient…?

  • Trebuchet

    @ David Hart: To the fundies, if the egg is fertilized, it’s a person. Period.

  • jmravec

    F says:
    Never mind the inappropriate Bible-touching, these people really think someone is selling Soylent Green?

    F beat me to it. Do these yo-yos actually think Soylent Green was a documentary?

  • Johnny Vector

    Dammit, now what am I going to do with all these cases of Placenta Helper? If I lived in Minnesota, I could ask my senator for help. But my senators probably wouldn’t even know what I’m talking about.

  • peterh

    Don’t those Neanderthals know that stem cells have gone far beyond the fetus these days? Even Fox News knows that.

  • kdan59

    Phew! Thought I’d have to stop eating lady fingers.

  • noastronomer

    Well, at least my dog won’t go hungry.

    Mike.

  • http://www.thetrainingmydogblog.com/ Brian Twelves

    This is one of the best blog post I have read. Thanks!

  • Jade

    Wow. I am honestly speechless. Not one of the comments above comes from an even half intelligent individual. What is the most disturbing of all is that no one on this page seems to have a problem with the fact that they are using HUMAN CHILDREN to manufacture the products in question. Whether it is simply research for flavor enhancement, actual food, or medicine to help our society. None of that makes it right. “Geocatherder” mentioned that if his dad had survived, he could have reaped some of the present benefits of human embryo stem cell research. Well, the fact of the matter is that your dad doesn’t deserve to live at the expense of another human being’s extinguished life. I am sure most on this page would be great supporters of anti-animal cruelty acts, but when it comes to human beings, they could care less. When did we come to the point of such deprivation that we are desensitized to the murder of our own children and their consequential use in our food and medical products?


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