50 Things to Do Before I Die

This is a self-indulgent repost of an older piece, freshened by thoughts of my recent 60th birthday: I stumbled across the title phrase some time back, and Googled it. I found several lists and scrolled through them. One of them was all “Go watch the Masters golf tournament,” and “Sit ringside at Madison Square Gardens for a boxing match,” and “See the Tour de France in person,” and it just seemed like most of it was a lot of crap you’d do to impress other people, instead of … [Read more...]

Blasphemy Day Post! Plus Ungodly Recipe!

In case you've forgotten, it's International Blasphemy Day. And you know, considering they made up a whole international holiday and stuff, it would be a sin not to pitch in and enjoy the day to its fullest. You know, insulting Mohammad. Insulting Jesus. Dressing up as nuns and priests and doing an obscene song and dance number. Posting some fun blasphemous comics online. … [Read more...]

Our Lady of the Shitty Tools

Anybody who’s ever worked with hand tools will recognize what I’m about to say: You can buy shitty tools. I mean, there are companies out there who actually make and sell shitty tools. Tools deliberately MADE to break, or perform badly during use. It’s a price-point thing, of course. … [Read more...]

Samuel L. Jackson Weighs In

Hilarious! And Not Safe For Work. Cue some obligatory right wing outrage at the "language" in 3 ... 2 ... 1 ... … [Read more...]

Politics: Getting “Nailed” by Jesus, and Bush

(This is a repost, slightly edited, from 2008.) Say you did something you thought was good at the time, but later turned out to be bad. You could admit the mistake. Or you could refuse to admit it. Any sensible person would probably say the first option was the best one. If you can admit a mistake, you can probably do something to fix it, or correct your course so you don’t do it again. And you can move on. The second option has some variations built into it, argumentative positions that … [Read more...]

Don’t Ever Assume I’m (Only) a Nice Guy

Maybe it’s just one of those pre-coffee grumpy mornings, but here’s a story that’s got my back-fur (*) up. It’s about a TSA agent (those uniformed Nazis sweetly smiling public servants in the airport who care about nothing more than the safety of the flying public) who allegedly stole an iPad and took it home. We have a lot of anti-government rhetoric flying around in the U.S. right now, mainly, it seems, from idiot teabaggers and freakazoid anti-American Republicans using it as a … [Read more...]

Short Stack #18

Him: “Why do you do this? I mean, why do you want to take away people’s faith? Even if they believe things that aren’t true, what is that to you?” Me: “If you’re walking along a roadway and you see a nail out on the pavement, do you leave it there where it could puncture somebody’s tire, or do you pick it up?” Him: “What? I pick it up.” Me: “Yeah, well so do I.” … [Read more...]

Short Stack 17: Special Edition – #DeathTweets

#DeathTweets: Just chugged about a quart of Diet Coke. Now for the Mentos! ____________________ #DeathTweets: me and my posse up at the old sanders mansion spoze to be a vampire lives here. yes or no, im bringin back PROOF! ____________________ #DeathTweets: whoo boys nite out no idea howw mny driks ive had time to go tho wherz my keys … [Read more...]

Iran: The Ass End of Progress

Say you're a country full of people and you have a lot of vital business to conduct to keep everybody fed and housed and healthy and safe. What do you do? Well, you reach first for this immense tool you have, the most flexible and creative problem-solving device on the planet — the intelligent, educated human brain. Unless you're Iran, in which case you forbid HALF your population — half of those problem-solving brains — from getting a full education: Iranian women banned from 77 … [Read more...]

Sorry, Way Too Busy to Blog

I just started a new class today, and I was studying hard for almost half of it. I know you'll understand the sometimes exhausting demands of higher education. Official school picture below the fold (click to embiggen): … [Read more...]