#DeathTweets (repost)

Maple Syrup on Pancakes#DeathTweets: Just chugged about a quart of Diet Coke. Now for the Mentos!

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#DeathTweets: me and my posse up at the old sanders mansion spoze to be a vampire lives here. yes or no, im bringin back PROOF!

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#DeathTweets: whoo boys nite out no idea howw mny driks ive had time to go tho wherz my keys

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#DeathTweets: Makin my own fireworks for the 4th this year! Sulfur, saltpeter, charcoal, yeah! Ima grind this shit down to powder now and

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#DeathTweets: Can’t believe I’m here in Pamplona, Spain! Whoops, gotta go, I think the bulls are coming!

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#DeathTweets: Man, look at this gator just lying in the sun. Ha! Sluggish, stupid reptile! Watch me kick this big bastard in the ass.

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#DeathTweets: Texting and driving? I’ve got it wired, man. Hell, I could do this in heavy traf

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#DeathTweets: Trying to get the riding mower started, so dark I can’t tell how much gas is in it. Hang on, got my lighter here.

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#DeathTweets: Taking pics at the Grand Canyon! If I hang onto this tree limb, I can get a fantastic shot of the river down there.

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#DeathTweets: Cleaning up some brush in my yard. Just went down and rented a woodchipper. Never used one before, but hey, how hard can it be?

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#DeathTweets: Best bro and me seein how close we can stand to the Amtrak train when it passes by today.

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#DeathTweets: Oh, man, scored the coolest new pet! This guy on Craigslist was actually GIVING AWAY a 16-foot python!

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#DeathTweets: What a bunch of surf-pussies! Dude, shark is just another word for fish. Hey, I’m not missing these waves!

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#DeathTweets: So this biker asshole took my parking place AGAIN. Wait, here he comes. Ha! Wait til he sees what I did to his bike.

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#DeathTweets: I’m out 4-wheeling with my Texas cousin! Hang on a sec – he wants me to hold his beer.

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#DeathTweets: Parachuting’s a lot cheaper since I learned to pack my own chutes! Geronimo!

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#DeathTweets: Having a wonderful time on safari! Oh man, look at that beautiful lion. And so close!

  • Mick

    I like this one:
    Texting and driving? I’ve got it wired, man. Hell, I could do this in heavy traf

    Reminds me of the civil war general whose last words were:
    Come on boys, they couldn’t hit the side of a barn at this dist


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