The Book of Good Living: Just Say No

no

Looking back over my life, one of the skills that would have saved me a lot of anguish, annoyance and wasted time is the skill of saying No.If I'd been taught to say No, just no -- without anger, or guilt, or any sort of emotional spin -- oh boy my life would have been different. I would have spent a great deal less time getting roped into doing things I didn't really want to do. My life would have been more MINE -- which I strongly suspect would have better allowed me to say Yes in the ways … [Read more...]

Beta Culture: A Third Approach to Gender Equality

Unequal copy

I’ve been thinking about feminism for a couple of years, and I’ve actually felt a certain amount of dread when I attempted to relate it to my conceptual work on Beta Culture. It’s completely obvious that Beta can’t work without a healthy respect for the needs of women, something better than what our western society has now, but I couldn’t see how ‘feminism’ – not the thing I want feminism to be, but the thing that it presently is – could be integrated into it without overwhelming the welcoming, i … [Read more...]

Book of Good Living: The Risk Rule

risky

My approach to risk is tuned toward the more sensitive end of the spectrum. (We're not counting the bull riding, which was a 20-something macho-guy one-off.)As I said in my last post, I've gotten to the age of 62 without a stitch, a broken bone, or a major accident of any sort. I've done it by following a rough rule for dealing with risks.So here's my Risk Rule. (Note that this applies mainly to physical dangers, and not to existential hazards such as being turned down when asking … [Read more...]

Book of Good Living: The 5 Second Rule

5 seconds

No, this has nothing to do with dropping food on the floor. This is about the OTHER 5 seconds, the one that gives you a cushion of safety in everyday life.The simplest statement of the rule might be: “Look 5 seconds ahead ... in every direction.”Every person who drives is familiar with the concept of looking ahead. Some of us do it badly, and end up in rear-end collisions, or even pileups. Some of us do it well and see cops on the side of the highway a half mile or so in advance, so we ca … [Read more...]

Dark Adventures and Dumbfuckery

bear facepalm

Just reading a status by a Facebook friend where he talks with pride about his adventures waking up in strange beds and houses, being threatened by men with guns, handcuffed by cops, all sorts of exciting bad-boy mayhem.And I kinda have to wonder ... why go there? Why choose THAT path?I mean, we live in a world where fantastic adventures are possible, adventures of growth and learning and accomplishment, and even real danger if you want it. You can stand on the floor of Yosemite Valley … [Read more...]

Processing Atheist Grief: Some Thoughts

blue rose

I continue to think about death and grieving, coming up on three years after the passing of my Cowboy Dad (not a blood relative, but someone more special in my life than any of my real relatives). I occasionally have new ideas about the subject. Here's a couple:1) If you lose someone to age or illness ... Ask Yourself 'What If?' Consider the pain you're in, the magnitude of it. Now imagine that you could go back in time and change the events of your life so that you'd never met that … [Read more...]


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