Short Stack #21

Maple Syrup on Pancakes

This 2013 thing hasn’t worked out all that well for me. I’m considering saying Screw It and moving to 2014. Still thinking. Maybe in a month or so, if things don’t improve. __________ Wahoo, Christmas season! Inflatable Santa and Frosty! Inflatable Rudolph and Snoopy! Inflatable Penguin and Husky, Scooby and Teddy and Charlie Brown! And most of all, Inflatable Snow Globe with Real Floating Snowflakes Action! Bring ‘em on! I’m READY!! __________ Just this morning, I … [Read more...]

Short Stack # 20

If you’ve liked my Short Stack features, you might enjoy the new book coming out in a couple of months. I hope to have it completed and for sale by the end of May. Draft cover design to the right (click to enlarge). Note the word “draft.” I think the title is pretty much set, but I reserve the right to radically redesign the cover. I’m certainly open to input on that, by the way, so fire away if you have any criticism, suggestions or better ideas BrainDrops will roll out on Amazon in … [Read more...]

Adventures in Cholecystectomy Land – Part 2

Argh. Survived. Recovering. Also caught a cold, so that makes it extra fun. Maunderings on Facebook and elsewhere, before, during (sort of) and after: After my cholecystectomy tomorrow, I expect to make medical history by being the first person ever to suffer the gallbladder version of PLP (phantom limb pain). A few hours sleep, then up early for surgery, something new and scary in my life. Dang it, wish I could talk to my Dad. I really am a little bit scared, and he'd tell me "You're gonna … [Read more...]

Short Stack #19

During Shakespeare’s brief professional wrestling career, he was known as the No Holds Bard. [Ba-dump-bump!] Thank you, thank you, I’ll be here the whole page! ————————————————————— Cool joke to play on your kids: Hire a repulsive middle-aged man and woman, get them to dress in ill-fitting, mismatched old clothes and drive up in a clattering, rusted-out beater. They get out, walk up to your door and knock. You open the door and say “Hi! Well, … [Read more...]

Short Stack #18

Him: “Why do you do this? I mean, why do you want to take away people’s faith? Even if they believe things that aren’t true, what is that to you?” Me: “If you’re walking along a roadway and you see a nail out on the pavement, do you leave it there where it could puncture somebody’s tire, or do you pick it up?” Him: “What? I pick it up.” Me: “Yeah, well so do I.” … [Read more...]

Short Stack 17: Special Edition – #DeathTweets

#DeathTweets: Just chugged about a quart of Diet Coke. Now for the Mentos! ____________________ #DeathTweets: me and my posse up at the old sanders mansion spoze to be a vampire lives here. yes or no, im bringin back PROOF! ____________________ #DeathTweets: whoo boys nite out no idea howw mny driks ive had time to go tho wherz my keys … [Read more...]

Short Stack #16

[ Could be some repeats in here. Hey, I’m old.]   I think it would be funny to witness a nuclear explosion and then shout "That's what SHE said!" Because hey, if ever people needed a laugh, it would be after witnessing a nuclear explosion. … [Read more...]

Short Stack # 14

If your twin brother gets your wife pregnant ... is it still your kid? ------------------------------ I'm always one of the late adopters. Apparently eating people's faces is all the rage in this week's news, but I think I'm going to wait a few weeks. I'm trying to lose weight. ------------------------------ Just saw Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets again and I'm wondering ... what would happen if you stabbed a Bible with a basilisk fang? … [Read more...]

Short Stack #11

In Life's Darkest Hours, remind yourself of this: There's chocolate. ------------------------ Few people know that most of the early programmers at Microsoft were total emos. For instance, the first version of Clippy included the phrase, "Hi, it looks like you're writing a suicide note! Would you like some help?" … [Read more...]

Short Stack #4

“Faith” is the belief in something for which there is no evidence. Breach the protective barrier in your mind, the barrier that keeps you from believing stuff just because somebody tells you to, or just because you want to, and all sorts of ugly side effects begin to take place. The first is that you become a sucker for the next 50 con men able to convince you of THEIR seductive lie. When there’s evidence, nobody talks about faith. Faith only comes into it when we want to replace evidence … [Read more...]