Adventures in Cholecystectomy Land – Part 2

Argh. Survived. Recovering. Also caught a cold, so that makes it extra fun.Maunderings on Facebook and elsewhere, before, during (sort of) and after:After my cholecystectomy tomorrow, I expect to make medical history by being the first person ever to suffer the gallbladder version of PLP (phantom limb pain).A few hours sleep, then up early for surgery, something new and scary in my life. Dang it, wish I could talk to my Dad. I really am a little bit scared, and he'd tell me "You're gonna … [Read more...]

Short Stack #19

During Shakespeare’s brief professional wrestling career, he was known as the No Holds Bard.[Ba-dump-bump!] Thank you, thank you, I’ll be here the whole page!—————————————————————Cool joke to play on your kids: Hire a repulsive middle-aged man and woman, get them to dress in ill-fitting, mismatched old clothes and drive up in a clattering, rusted-out beater.They get out, walk up to your door and knock. You open the door and say “Hi! Well, my goodness! We wondered when we’d be seei … [Read more...]

Short Stack #18

Him: “Why do you do this? I mean, why do you want to take away people’s faith? Even if they believe things that aren’t true, what is that to you?”Me: “If you’re walking along a roadway and you see a nail out on the pavement, do you leave it there where it could puncture somebody’s tire, or do you pick it up?”Him: “What? I pick it up.”Me: “Yeah, well so do I.” … [Read more...]

#DeathTweets (repost)

Maple Syrup on Pancakes

#DeathTweets: Just chugged about a quart of Diet Coke. Now for the Mentos!____________________#DeathTweets: me and my posse up at the old sanders mansion spoze to be a vampire lives here. yes or no, im bringin back PROOF!____________________#DeathTweets: whoo boys nite out no idea howw mny driks ive had time to go tho wherz my keys____________________#DeathTweets: Makin my own fireworks for the 4th this year! Sulfur, saltpeter, charcoal, yeah! Ima grind this shit down to … [Read more...]

Short Stack #16

[ Could be some repeats in here. Hey, I’m old.] I think it would be funny to witness a nuclear explosion and then shout "That's what SHE said!" Because hey, if ever people needed a laugh, it would be after witnessing a nuclear explosion. … [Read more...]

Short Stack # 14

If your twin brother gets your wife pregnant ... is it still your kid?------------------------------I'm always one of the late adopters. Apparently eating people's faces is all the rage in this week's news, but I think I'm going to wait a few weeks. I'm trying to lose weight.------------------------------Just saw Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets again and I'm wondering ... what would happen if you stabbed a Bible with a basilisk fang? … [Read more...]