Short Stack #19

During Shakespeare’s brief professional wrestling career, he was known as the No Holds Bard.[Ba-dump-bump!] Thank you, thank you, I’ll be here the whole page!—————————————————————Cool joke to play on your kids: Hire a repulsive middle-aged man and woman, get them to dress in ill-fitting, mismatched old clothes and drive up in a clattering, rusted-out beater.They get out, walk up to your door and knock. You open the door and say “Hi! Well, my goodness! We wondered when we’d be seeing you t … [Read more...]

Short Stack #18

Him: “Why do you do this? I mean, why do you want to take away people’s faith? Even if they believe things that aren’t true, what is that to you?”Me: “If you’re walking along a roadway and you see a nail out on the pavement, do you leave it there where it could puncture somebody’s tire, or do you pick it up?”Him: “What? I pick it up.”Me: “Yeah, well so do I.” … [Read more...]

#DeathTweets (repost)

Maple Syrup on Pancakes

#DeathTweets: Just chugged about a quart of Diet Coke. Now for the Mentos!____________________#DeathTweets: me and my posse up at the old sanders mansion spoze to be a vampire lives here. yes or no, im bringin back PROOF!____________________#DeathTweets: whoo boys nite out no idea howw mny driks ive had time to go tho wherz my keys____________________#DeathTweets: Makin my own fireworks for the 4th this year! Sulfur, saltpeter, charcoal, yeah! Ima grind this shit down to … [Read more...]

Short Stack #16

[ Could be some repeats in here. Hey, I’m old.] I think it would be funny to witness a nuclear explosion and then shout "That's what SHE said!" Because hey, if ever people needed a laugh, it would be after witnessing a nuclear explosion. … [Read more...]

Short Stack # 14

If your twin brother gets your wife pregnant ... is it still your kid?------------------------------I'm always one of the late adopters. Apparently eating people's faces is all the rage in this week's news, but I think I'm going to wait a few weeks. I'm trying to lose weight.------------------------------Just saw Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets again and I'm wondering ... what would happen if you stabbed a Bible with a basilisk fang? … [Read more...]

Short Stack #11

In Life's Darkest Hours, remind yourself of this: There's chocolate.------------------------Few people know that most of the early programmers at Microsoft were total emos. For instance, the first version of Clippy included the phrase, "Hi, it looks like you're writing a suicide note! Would you like some help?" … [Read more...]


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