Petition the Veep: Stop Evil-lution in Schools!

Ooh, sign me up!A petition addressed to VP-elect Mike Pence asks for (drum roll, clash of cymbals!) ...A NATIONWIDE MORATORIUM ON THE TEACHING OF EVOLUTION IN SCHOOLS(A "moratorium." Just until we can figure out, you know, whether it's really true or not.)They're looking for (drum roll again, even louder clash of cymbals)>>> OMG!! ONE THOUSAND SIGNATURES!!! <<<—You know, a stunning tidal wave of deep passionate concern from Americans.Some absolutely v … [Read more...]

Random Stuff I’ve Learned

•  Dogs like icewater in the summer, just like people do. •  The burger you get at the counter has no resemblance to the picture of the burger on the poster. •  If they tell you it’s “for your own good” or “to serve you better” … it isn’t. •  Once you lose half your hair, the pressure’s off. •  Everything mouse-sized and bigger has feelings. •  The death of a loved one makes everything else small change. •  Most everybody else is too busy dancing to watch how good or bad your dancing is. Bu … [Read more...]

Short Stack #25

[ Could be some duplicates in here. I’m sorting through an archive of old stuff.  ]---------------------Yesterday, hackers uncovered a stash of nude pictures of a prominent American political figure. After viewing them, they quietly apologized to Dick Cheney and returned the photos with detailed advice on how to beef up his firewall.---------------------One day we will be able to upload human consciousness to computers, and achieve virtual immortality. Well, when I say "we," I me … [Read more...]

Starbucks Cups: Yeah, Get Angry … Suckah!

And so the annual "War on Christmas" begins -- the viral claptrap that comes out every year like Christmas lights, earlier and earlier. Here's this year's volley.A number of articles from mainstream news sites -- New York Times, Washington Post, Time Magazine, New York Daily News -- say "some Christians" or "Christian evangelists" take exception to Starbucks' new plain red cups ... but they never actually name the "some Christians" they're talking about. Is it the Catholic Church in all its … [Read more...]

Short Stack #24

Just sent in my application to the United Nations for the Pig Latin interpreter post.I think my chances are good. I've been speaking it since the third grade.--------------------------One bad shower can scar you for life.--------------------------When you think about it, The Joker is the ultimate example of motivational success. He's upbeat, cheerful, he has high self-esteem, he's willing to try anything, and he recognizes no limits. He's like the perfect corporate … [Read more...]

Non Sequitur, With Prominent Thumb

I saw an actual hitchhiker a few days ago! A young woman stood on the side of the highway entrance ramp holding a sign that said NORTH. I was in my company van and couldn't offer a ride, but I rolled down the passenger side window and yelled "Good luck!"Talking to a friend later, we compared notes on how rare it is to see hitchhikers these days, and yet how much safer the country is today than, say, 40 years ago when I was doing so much of it.In my hitchhiking days, I compiled 26,000 … [Read more...]