Am I The Only One Who’s Noticed?

Pryce Pope

Why do you never see Pope Francis and actor Jonathan Pryce in the same room together? I swear, it's like the Catholic Church isn't even trying anymore. (Well, they look a bit alike to ME.) … [Read more...]

To Hell With It — I’m Declaring a Holiday!

Skeletor Day

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The Freedom of Vanished Ripples

stones

I Carried the Stone the first time when I was 3 years old. I don’t remember it, of course, but my father was so proud he filmed it and I watched it years later. There I was, all 35 pounds of me, carrying a 10-pound Stone. I managed to carry it almost all the way across our living room before I fell with it and chipped one of my baby teeth. In the movie, my mother picked me up and inspected the broken tooth, glancing angrily at my father, but of course she stayed silent. A chipped tooth is … [Read more...]

An Undropped Red Shoe

pope ratzi

I’m not actually supposed to be writing this. More than two years ago I signed all sorts of documents demanding strict adherence to the embargo date of the information. But since the embargo date has come and gone, and there has been no public announcement – and especially since the recent news story of the entire Vatican science team being killed in a bus crash in Argentina – I don't feel bound by those agreements. I suppose there might be some danger in this for me, either legally … [Read more...]

Short Stack # 20

If you’ve liked my Short Stack features, you might enjoy the new book coming out in a couple of months. I hope to have it completed and for sale by the end of May. Draft cover design to the right (click to enlarge). Note the word “draft.” I think the title is pretty much set, but I reserve the right to radically redesign the cover. I’m certainly open to input on that, by the way, so fire away if you have any criticism, suggestions or better ideas BrainDrops will roll out on Amazon in … [Read more...]

Chips Ahoy! Gadzooks! And Oh, This Poor Woman.

SHARE THIS AS MUCH AS YOU CAN!!!! THESE CHIPS ARE REAL!!! AND ALREADY BEING INJECTED INTO UNWILLING AMERICANS!!! In addition to your medical records, banking records, etc., every one of these RADIO FREQUENCY ID chips will contain a locator device, allowing government agents to know where you are every second, and listen in on your private conversations. If you say anything the government doesn't like, you can be fired from your job and never be able to work again! Chips implanted in men contain … [Read more...]

Holy Shit, Really?!?

Huh. The Pope is quitting. No surprise, though. He never really recovered from that fight with Yoda. I'll bet it has something to do with blackmail involving a sex tape with Jar Jar Binks. Hey, wonder if Sarah Palin is advising him? But the REAL REASON, revealed here for the first time: The Pope read my book, Red Neck, Blue Collar, Atheist ... and has realized he can no longer believe in souls, Heaven, Hell, or the Big Magic Juju Guy. My work is done. ____________________ Oh, well, … [Read more...]

Short Stack #19

During Shakespeare’s brief professional wrestling career, he was known as the No Holds Bard. [Ba-dump-bump!] Thank you, thank you, I’ll be here the whole page! ————————————————————— Cool joke to play on your kids: Hire a repulsive middle-aged man and woman, get them to dress in ill-fitting, mismatched old clothes and drive up in a clattering, rusted-out beater. They get out, walk up to your door and knock. You open the door and say “Hi! Well, … [Read more...]

Travelin’ Dog (Repost)

[ Another repost, from 2003. ] ________________________________ Some stories touch you even when they have no clear ending. I was recently on a week’s vacation to California. I got to see a lot of people and visited a number of places I’ve loved—old good places where I sojourned for a while with dear friends. Sadly, I also said a number of goodbyes. One was to my good buddy Chardonnay, who happens to be a Golden Retriever currently engaged in dying. Chardy used to come for runs with me … [Read more...]

Please Support and Sign My “We The People” Petition!

Democracy only works if we make it work. Please sign my petition and help create enhanced freedom and safety for all Americans. With their narrow focus on firearms, the NRA is failing to protect our FULL arms-bearing Second Amendment rights. This is a real petition, and it needs 25,000 signatures by January 21, 2013. Let's get to work, Americans! A blade-carrying population is a respectful population! Click here:  Hank Fox's We the People Petition … [Read more...]