Briefly: Update

I made a goal to write mostly about the Otherfaith this year, instead of focusing on drama in the many Pagan communities I interact with. This has been tough (though I consider my last post a very important one, and I’ve touched on similar issues as they relate to the Otherfaith before), but this commitment to focusing on the faith has been good. I haven’t been able to write a lot of completed posts, but I have had more opportunities for reflection and contemplation.I had a very calming con … [Read more...]

Private Rituals

Most of the time, I want to do ritual with other people. I long for a physical religious community. I try to build it as best I can (stumbling along the way). Community is important to me.But some rituals are just better in private.I’m the type of person that is constantly working. I’m either writing or reading or praying or putting together charms or whatever else is on the list for that day. I rarely give myself an actual break where I’m not doing or thinking anything. But yesterday I t … [Read more...]

Thoughts on the Laetha

Keeping in mind my last post – I’m going to attempt to write this as simply as I can.Last night I had quite the experience. At this point in my life, after dealing with spirit activity and being bothered by faeries for most of my life (as a child, as a teen, as a young adult), I’m rather used to the symptoms that can arise. Especially with the gods are near. Shaking legs, shaking hands, inability to focus or see clearly, manic energy, blabbering – all lovely results of being close to my holy … [Read more...]

Fear is Not the Goal

I get down on my knees a lot for my gods and spirits. (And you should read that in all the ways you can, just so you know.)When I began working with the Ophelia, it was all fear and all stress all the time. I remember asking what she wanted from me, that she was putting me through so much. What did she want, that she was dragging me so low.  Why was she carving holes into my body and soul - I knelt and begged and pleaded.And then she came to me like the ocean, like the River, and I … [Read more...]

urban mindsets

I had an interesting experience on energy drinks. “Energy drinks? Seriously?” you say. Yes, energy drinks – those nasty, too sweet chemical flavored cans of electricity. It was my first time trying them, and after a life of rarely consuming soda, the effects were, as I said, ‘interesting’.Mostly, my social anxiety dried up, and I was left in a cloud of euphoria. And, for a brief moment, I felt as though I could touch the very core of the trees and grass and world around me. I haven’t touched … [Read more...]

processing the gods

As I was reading through Dwelling on the Threshold, I stumbled upon this sentence that struck me. It quite accurately explains something I've been considering for the past week, though the issue has been on my mind much longer. (You can read the post that this quote is from here.) ...the gods are entirely independent of  our brain chemistry, but our experience of Them is not. Since beginning walking a religious path, I've been dealing with doubt. Doubt is a part of discernment, for me, a … [Read more...]

another false divide

My religion isn't therapy, but I wouldn't be surprised if other people thought it was.I've heard that sentiment a lot - religion isn't therapy, religion is about the gods, this isn't about you, so on, so forth - and it's been bugging me. My religion is about the gods, about serving them, praying, making offerings, living in a way that pleases them. But it also helps me. I have gained much from it, internally. That doesn't make it any less a religion or my devotion any less real. And I'm … [Read more...]

about Taboos

I don't really have any taboos yet. I didn't have any taboos. The taboos I'm discussing here are religious and spiritual ones, imposed on us either by the religion we are practicing or the gods and spirits themselves. As someone walking a path towards spirit work (well, I consider myself already on that path, but I'm still a novice) and mysticism, I always expected to have taboos given to me. None really came.A year ago I got brief, unsure impressions that I should no longer … [Read more...]

Briefly: priority

I’ve been reading through Dwelling on the Threshold, a book full of essays from A Forest Door, and a lot of what I’ve read so far rings true – on various levels – to my experience and life. I haven’t discussed it much on Patheos, or really anywhere, but I’ve been doing this religious and spiritual work and Work since I was around twelve. Which makes people uncomfortable – so young! I couldn’t really have started that little! (I started younger; I had an idea of what modern Paganism was around twe … [Read more...]

Briefly: on Colors

[As is necessary to note, all below is personal belief and experience journeying to the Otherworlds. The Red Court is a Court of faeries that I interact with and which I have not found connections to in fairy tales or to other known faeries.]Colors are a large part of my journey work. I always try to break down the colors I see, try to understand, try to grasp the nuances of why. Why do gold threads appear when I go to the Firebird? Why do diamonds and blue-white ice appear when I pray to … [Read more...]