Buddhism and Mental Illness

May 21, 2013 By 18 Comments

President Obama has declared May “Mental Health Awareness Month.” At the announcement the President said (thanks to Adrian Warnock for posting this):

“Today, tens of millions of Americans are living with the burden of a mental health problem. They shoulder conditions like depression and anxiety, post-traumatic stress and bipolar disorder — debilitating illnesses that can strain every part of a person’s life. And even though help is out there, less than half of children and adults with diagnosable mental health problems receive treatment. During National Mental Health Awareness Month, we shine a light on these issues, stand with men and women in need, and redouble our efforts to address mental health problems in America.

For many, getting help starts with a conversation. People who believe they may be suffering from a mental health condition should talk about it with someone they trust and consult a health care provider. As a Nation, it is up to all of us to know the signs of mental health issues and lend a hand to those who are struggling. Shame and stigma too often leave people feeling like there is no place to turn. We need to make sure they know that asking for help is not a sign of weakness — it is a sign of strength. To find treatment services nearby, call 1-800-662-HELP. The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline offers immediate assistance for all Americans, including service members and veterans, at 1-800-273-TALK. . .” READ THE REST

As part of this national awareness campaign, the whole of Patheos has been invited to write on the topic of Faith and Mental Health, you can see a few selections on the front page on the right.

So here I am, jumping in a little late with my own post on the topic.

Having faced mental illness, in a number of different capacities, it’s hard to know just where to start. Before I was born, perhaps.

What is the Zen koan? “What was your face before you were born?”

Depression.

Breathing: In……. Out…….

It wasn’t until well into my own depression that I would learn this. In fact, it wasn’t until some time after my depression that I would learn the full extent of it, and even to this day, my family is generally hush-hush when it comes to my father’s family history of depression and other mental illness.

The short story in my own case goes: unrealized depression (probably starting around age 12), realized depression (in late teens, treated by therapy, some antidepressants), more depression (in early 20s, less therapy, more drugs).

And then the shift.

In my early 20s I began meditating. Yes, like most people, the first couple weeks of meditation seemed hopeless: I was distracted, fidgety, consumed by unwanted thoughts, emotions, physical pain, the works. But I stuck with it – I was taking a University course in it, so I kind of had to. And around week three something snapped. A break. Like sinking slowly into a warm bath tub, every exhausted muscle welcoming the heat. My mind sank beneath the troubled surface of constant thoughts and sensory stimuli. And there was peace.

For the first time in as long as I could remember I was at peace. Breathing: Deep……. Slow…….

On a short retreat I was taught Thich Nhat Hanh’s short poem:

“In, out
Deep, slow
Calm, ease
Smile, release
Present moment, wonderful moment.

(The cadence follows your breathing, so as you breathe in, say (inwardly) “In”; breathing out, say (inwardly) “Out”; and so on, repeating as long as you would like.)

But it still took me three years of meditation, medication, and occasional therapy to make my next move. At age 24 I dumped the antidepressants.  I recall reading about a study, perhaps this one, that showed St. John’s Wort to be as effective as Paxil – only without many of the side effects and the bonus of being much cheaper. So I made the switch, I meditated, and things moved forward.

And eventually, as today, it was just me and meditation.

Breathing: Calm……. Ease…….

That’s the very short story. I do think the therapy helped, even when at times it definitely didn’t. And I think that the drugs, overall, helped, even when they gave me horrible side effects requiring yet more drugs with their own side effects.  Or even when they just numbed me to the world because, hell, numb is a whole lot better than the crippling despair of deep, deep depression. And I have no doubt that little things like regular exercise, time spent in nature, and a healthy diet all contributed to the relatively healthy me that I am today.

But the meditation, and something about the Buddhist worldview, as much as I have come to understand and accept it over the years, have been absolutely central to getting out of that long, cold, dark tunnel so sterilely labeled “clinical depression.”

What I learned through meditation isn’t easily put into words, but if I could pick a few, they might be  acceptance , non-clinging, and love. To talk about the particulars would be a bit too much I think, but I can imagine that those of you who have experienced these through meditation can relate – and those who haven’t, well – you might find it worth while to try for a few weeks at least.

And don’t forget that drugs or therapy or a walk in the park might be what is just right for you. Just remember that something, somewhere, at some time, will help. The tunnel might be dark, cold, and extremely painful at times. But there is a warm, filling, calming, peaceful light in this world to be experienced on the other end when you reach it.

Breathing: Smile……. Release…….

I can smile now knowing that the worst is behind me – an arduous journey, a long learning experience. I don’t think I’ll ever be free of depression, or cured, or anything quite like that. Yet I take heart in the fact that even after his awakening, the Buddha still faced Mara (similar to the devil), a sort of tempter. Problems, emotions, fears, doubts, etc still come up in the awakened one. But what does he say? “I see you, Mara. I know you. You have no power over me.” 

In the same way I have been able to say, “I see you, depression, I know you. You have no power over me.” And just like that, it’s gone…. For now. The experience is empowering. Depression is a sort of falling in to a cycle of identifying with self-defeating thoughts and beliefs and emotions, while meditation gives you the tiny moment of freedom to realize: that’s not me, that’s just thoughts, just beliefs, just emotions. I’m still right here. The story of Sister Vajira’s encounter with Mara is especially inspiring and instructive (I’ve included a few more links – highly recommended reading – below, thanks to the great folks at Access to Insight).

Breathing: Present moment……. Wonderful moment…….

Despite it all: the worries, fears, heartaches, pains, and more, we are all still here.

Together. 

There is no grand optimistic twist in the story. To tell you everything will be okay would be a lie. Things will still get shitty. But not always as shitty as before. And sometimes life will actually be pretty damned good. And it’s that ‘good’ that we strive for: the moment of peace with the 3-month old baby, the colorful sunset after the cloudy day, the hug from a friend or parent after a long time apart. There is so much to discover in live that connects us with the truths of impermanence, interconnectedness, and ultimate nonsubstantiality of the self; concepts that seem on the surface to be merely theoretical, but must be experienced to be truly realized.

This is what, if anything, Buddhism has to offer to the world of contemporary mental illness: a slow and complicated process of unwinding the tangled ball of thought-feeling-emotion-reaction that form the dense, unhappy ball of self an your core. Buddhism isn’t just about making you feel okay so that you can go on in your life. It’s much more radical than that. And again, it might not be what you really need right now; many illnesses respond very well to medications or specialized therapies.

After all of that – take a walk in the woods, go for a jog, do yoga. And then sit. Breathe. And cherish this amazing opportunity you have now.

Present moment…. Wonderful moment.

[if you have a story of mental illness and Buddhism, please leave it in the comment section with text or a link]

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A few mentions of Māra (a.k.a. Namuci, “Kinsman of the heedless“):DN 16, DN 20, DN 32, MN 26, MN 34, MN 106, SN 4.8, SN 4.19, SN 4.20, SN 5.1, SN 5.2, SN 5.3, SN 5.4, SN 5.5, SN 5.6, SN 5.7, SN 5.8, SN 5.9, SN 5.10, SN 6.2, SN 17.3, SN 22.63, SN 35.115, SN 35.189, SN 35.199, SN 35.202, SN 35.207, SN 47.6, SN 47.7, SN 56.11, AN 4.49, AN 7.63, Dhp 7, Dhp 34, Dhp 37, Dhp 40, Dhp 46, Dhp 57, Dhp 104, Dhp 175, Dhp 274,Dhp 337, Dhp 350, Iti 38, Iti 46, Iti 57, Iti 58, Iti 59, Iti 62, Iti 68, Iti 82, Iti 93, Sn 3.2, Sn 3.12, Sn 4.9, Sn 5.10, Thag 1.25, Thag 21, Thig 6.7, Thig 13.5; [tries to outwit the Buddha: SN 4; tries to outwit the nuns: SN 5]

Filed Under: Buddhism, Happiness, Health, Meditation 18 Comments

Are you a Buddhist Wanker (Jerk)? – (Humor)

December 2, 2012 By 2 Comments

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Self-described Spiritual Wanker Mark Walsh takes us through diagnosing a spiritual wanker and some potential cures. It reminded me a bit of my recent review of the wonderful book, Dispirited (blog here). Walsh criticizes ‘spiritual’ people for using insider language, dropping Tibetan, Sanskrit, (and he even mentions Pali!), when common English terms would clearly suffice, and more importantly, the normal English terms would be understood by everyone.

I like the video because he is humble enough to admit that he does this too at times (along with the other things he mentions…). I too do this, though I do consciously try not to. When introducing Buddhist terms I try to give the nearest English term, or a longer description of what it means. But, to be fair, many Buddhist terms cannot be easily translated into simple English, and in fact doing so has been a  big part of our ongoing misunderstanding of the religion.

The irritating thing is when the terminology is used jerkishly (I’m not sure if wankerly or wankerishly is correct). There is plenty of technical business terminology that could fit in here (the British seem to have this down particularly well):

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Next, he talks about using spirituality to boost your ego and suggests that putting your spirituality in to some form of service is a good solution to that. This is another point I agree on wholeheartedly. Though I have long been a skeptic, I have always admired those whose faith leads them to service. In my own case this has been primarily with a long list of Catholic friends and acquaintances.

Then he talks about being vague – another symptom of spiritual or Buddhist wankerishness (I’m coining that term if it’s not already out there). In my experience this is more an issue of ignorance. It occurs when people feel like what they are doing is superior (as above) or what others do is wrong and just how it’s superior or wrong is… well… vague. It just, ya know, is. Or it feels like it is. Which is, like, vague. And wankerish.

Walsh next talks about the fact that your spirituality may just be about getting high – either by drugs, meditation, endorphins, or whatnot. In Buddhist circles I’ve heard talk of ‘jhana-junkies’ – people who meditate to attain the states of bliss and rapture that come with a little practice in calming meditation. But to be fair I don’t think I’ve met one.

The next point is that spiritual wankers can often be losers. They don’t do well in life and use spirituality as their excuse, claiming perhaps that success is just a result of selling out to the system. And then on the other hand, these are often the same people talking about ‘visualizing’ abundance and wealth as a way to actually getting it. This, Walsh goes on to suggest, is connected with the wanker’s belief that we have magic powers. I’ll come back to that in a moment.

Finally, he suggests that a symptom of being a spiritual wanker is: being a dick, throwing out ethics (because they’re “above all of that”). This in particular caught my eye. It seems to be a major issue, for example, in certain Zen communities. Poor Adam Tebbe over at Sweeping Zen is doing a wonderful job of keeping a tab on recent scandals in the face of many who seem to object to the whole idea of ethical violation, “because it’s so dualistic.” That’s just being a dick. Telling people who have been harmed that they should just meditate on their own failures is callous, to say the least. Covering up or simply ignoring harmful teachers is no better than ignoring a mugger beating an old woman in front of you. This is no time to just “focus on the breath” or the “oneness of all beings” (valid and wonderful as those instructions are in their proper context). I’ll rant more about this in an upcoming post.

Until then, Namaste.

Oh, and what I was going to come back to (being a loser and visualizing stuff…)… I think there’s a point at which that stuff is actually true. Being successful as a human being and being successful in our dysfunctional society are often very different things. This doesn’t mean they are mutually exclusive, though. And ‘visualizing’ as a practice is common in many religions, so if it’s done with an authentic religious impulse and understanding of the religious ethics that must be involved, then it’s not necessarily a bad or wankerish thing. Wildmind just posted a study that showed that writing our negative thoughts on paper and throwing them away actually makes us feel better. There are in fact long lists of studies showing that meditation and similar activities have verifiable effects on physical health. To some, this is just magic-thinking – but since our well-being, including many physical traits, is obviously connected to our thoughts, why wouldn’t something like this have some effect?

All important, to me, is 1) ethics. We have to be grounded in being good to others. No amount of spirituality will get us over this hurdle. And 2) humility and openness to new ideas. Science is changing. Buddhism is changing. Our understanding of just what Buddhism is is changing. As all of these complex systems interact, it does us no good to become dogmatic about what one or another really is or says.

Filed Under: Buddhism, Happiness, Health, Humor, Meditation 2 Comments

Share this if you’ve ever lost someone…

June 22, 2012 By Leave a Comment

to a smoking-related death:

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My family breathed a big sigh of releaf last fall when my father finally quit smoking, after nearly 40 years as a smoker. As a kid in the 80s, both of my parents smoked and so did most of their friends. In the 90s my mom quit but my older brother and sister both started and then so did I.

I remember tobacco companies advertising the ‘coolness’ of cigarettes with big cartoon smoking action figures. I remember collecting ‘Camel Cash’ with friends to send in for prizes. Acquiring cigarettes was never difficult, even though my friends and I were under age.

But I was lucky. My boss at a local Chinese food restaurant made me a deal: quit smoking and he’d give me an amplifier for my new car stereo system. And it worked. And I will always owe a great debt of gratitude to my old boss, Jeff Wong.

You can’t make someone you love quit smoking. But as the statistics at the end of the video show, you can make a difference. Perhaps simply sharing this video will be that difference.

Filed Under: Health Leave a Comment

A Buddhist Perspective on World News

May 27, 2012 By 1 Comment

For Sunday, the 27th of May, 2012

Yesterday the Japan Times reported that monks there are moving out of the temples and into their communities. Discussing the background of some schools of Buddhism in Japan, the Times reports:

While Zen and other Buddhist sects prioritize training and practice, including meditation, as necessary for reaching salvation, Jodo Shu adherents believe that “the absolute power of Amida Buddha, not our own strength, will bring us to the Pure Land,” Kajita says.

Honen was later exiled to Shikoku and the grounds were abandoned for several centuries until 1680, when Honen-in was established at the site by priests from Chion-in Temple, Jodo Shu’s temple headquarters. Honen-in continued as a Jodo Shu affiliate but is now operated as an independent family-run temple.

The article concludes:

Although Japanese Buddhist monks are not noted for social or political activism, [temple leader Shoshin] Kajita has recently begun taking on a more visible community role. Over the past few years he organized a series of discussion meetings with local citizen groups — both supporters and opponents — of a plan to allow a Kansai-based firm to build an aquarium in a Kyoto municipal park…

“Religion should concern itself with people’s problems, and monks shouldn’t simply stay in the temple and chant,” he says. “Buddhism is not just something we practice in solitude, under ideal conditions. We all need to consider our basic selfishness and come up with new ideas to achieve peace and environmental health.”

The many twists and turns of Buddhism’s development in Japan are an area I have only touched here and there in my academics. Most recently, I looked into the Bodhidharma or Daruma Zen sect, which seemed to cast off all clear moral direction, focusing not on being in society or even meditation, but simply on nonduality and philosophy. As I wrote for the upcoming UN Day of Vesak / IABU Conference, (paper here), the abandonment of basic ethics seems to have been their downfall.

While a lot has changed in the last 35 years, I still know of no better short video for tracing the outlines of Buddhism in Japan than this:

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Meanwhile, David Mason of Kyung Hee University writes an impassioned defense of Korean Buddhism (in relation to the recent Jogye Gambling Monks scandal there). He writes:

I certainly do agree that this is an internal matter for the religious order involved to deal with according to their own rules and customs, and that under the successful doctrine of religious freedom maintained by Korea since its founding, the government has no justification for any involvement in it and is wise to be refraining.

Of course, if any laws were broken in any of this then authorities should respond to it just as they do for any other citizen, it should be needless to say.

Within the past half-century or so the Jogye Order of Korean Buddhism has been amazingly successful in reviving the true flavor of its ancient spiritual traditions centered on Seon, and in globalizing itself in all kinds of outreach.

As a result, Korean Buddhism now enjoys a very high reputation around the world, and I do not expect that the manufactured outrage over this kind of minor incident will cause it any significant or lasting damage.

So long as the order is transparent and forthcoming in its response and nothing like this comes up again (too soon), I think he’s right. The uncertainty for now is whether this is just a few bad monks, or signs of systematic laxity in ethics.

Finally, speaking of ethics, the story at Diamond Mountain has been updated over at Elephant Journal and has reached the pages of the Huffington Post. This is the first major news outlet to cover the story that I have seen, but hopefully more will come. More light is still needed in this bizarre case which unfortunately led to the death of one man.

~

In health news, Tom, over at Sacramento Homeless, writes about the “bordering on criminal” unhealthy food that is distributed to the homeless community in Sacramento. He breaks down a typical day’s lunch here:

The lunch had 1066 calories, which is approximately half what you should eat in a day.  There were 51 grams of fat, which is 79% of the daily allowance.  There were 17 grams of saturated fat, which is 86% of the daily allowance.

The article might have passed me by if I hadn’t then read that 1 in 3 homeless are obese. Hungry and obese. Obese due to the excess of processed calories mixed with sodium, sugar, and saturated fat. Hungry because even when there is plenty, these foods are not very filling.

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There is an interesting parallel, also, between the sugary, cheap foods given to the homeless (and the rest of us but primarily the less well-off) and the cigarettes given to G.I.s in Korea and Vietnam in the ’60s and ’70s. In both cases they were made cheap and given to people who didn’t have much choice. And in both cases they created (and are creating in the former case) life-long addicts who are not only physically less healthy but suffer psychological problems as well.

Only today the doctors aren’t posing with cigarettes as much as scalpels, claiming the ease and benefits of removing parts of your digestive tract or cutting out fists full of fat.

Filed Under: Academia, Buddhism, Buddhist Ethics, Health 1 Comment
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