AskAngus12: Sports cannot hold a Candle to Marie Laveau

Sadie: Can I use magick to influence the basketball playoffs?

Dear Sadie,

No. Aside from the monumental technical job involved, there is that pesky Rule of 3 / Freewill thing to consider.

Plus Basketball players are too smart and independent.

Try Hockey.

Illuminated: What is the proper method of extinguishing candles?

Dear ‘Lum,

Ah yes. The available literature is chock-a-block with tips on candle size, length, color, and precise time for ignition. But on how to relieve our waxy assistants the books remain strangely silent. And as with everything else in Witchcraft, there are several contradictory schools on this which do not get along. And, as always, the answer is to try them all and see which makes sixth sense to you.

  • Using a snuffer is very frilly and Victorian,  – but critics say that you would be “snuffing out” your spell as well as the flame.
  • The ‘pinch’ is very intimate and ‘hands on’, no implements ‘tween you and your magick (and its the least smoky) – but They will say that you are likewise “pinching out” your spell.
  • Finally, there is the classic ‘birthday cake blow’ – but the Greek chorus points out that you are just scattering your spell everywhere.

So which to use? Ideally we would utilize the ‘none of the above’ option and NOT extinguish our candles at all; just let them burn down till the spell is finished when it simply runs out of fuel. This of course has several drawbacks. Candles are fairly inexpensive but burning your house down gets expensive after a few times. Certain spells and situations specifically call for ‘all-nighters’. In those cases many of us employ the ‘ol bathtub trick for fire safety, but make sure your housemates are aware of this before they stumble sleepily into the shower the next morning.

So you gotta get the things out somehow – try the snuffer, the pinch and the blow and see which feels best for you. (And don’t listen to what ‘They’ say.)

Me? I usually blow. It’s cheap, I am a big baby about pinching – no matter how wet my fingers are, and my snuffer often wanders off. My rationalization for this magically (and rationalizing is a surprisingly large part of effective spellwork), is that I am ‘releasing the energy to the four winds’.

Yes, THAT Ronnie Dio also recorded it.

Don’tyouDAREprintmyname: I am asking this only for historical accuracy, and its not even for me, its for a friend of mine, but what exactly IS Love Potion #9?

Dear um, Dear,

‘Love Potion #9′ is an R&B song from the 50′s that was most successful for the English group the Searchers, who took it to #3 in the U.S. at the end of 1964.

Anything else?

Oh, wait; ‘historical accuracy’. Are you sure you want to know what it was, Dear? The Searchers alude to “kissing the cop down at 34th & Vine” after all. Do you have some deep-seated tendency that you’d like to keep hidden? Hmmmm?

Well there were certainly enough hidden problems in Reconstruction-era New Orleans, and a young ‘creole of color’ widow named Marie Paris saw an opportunity. Changing her name to Laveau she opened a small voodoo shop which was instantly infamous.

Its notoriety was due, in part, to the system developed by Marie to safegaurd the secrets of her often high-born clientele.

1794-1881

At Marie’s one did not have to walk in and announce one’s problem to the burning ears of the other patrons. Instead she used a number system for her rich and/or steady customers so they could be spared the embarrassment.

Love Potion #9 was just one of many brews that she kept in stock, and the ultimate success of her plan is the fact that to this day nobody for certain can say just what ailment that or any of her potions cured.

Have your ‘friend’ say hello to that cute cop down at 34th and Vine for me.

~AskAngus

Angus McMahan

@AngusMcMahan

Send your questions to: angusmcmahan@gmail.com

(Photos from Gizmodo, vijithforever.com, musicmasteroldies.com and ginalanier.com)

 

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About Angus McMahan

Me? I'm just the drummer. Oh, I guess I write funny stuff now and then. When I am not scratching my head at the oddball questions that show up here I am penning witticisms over at http://www.angus-land.com

  • JasonMankey

    When you write about Marie Laveau, I have to ask, which one are you writing about? There were two ya know. The mother did sell charms and other magical items, but was mostly a committed Catholic. Now her daughter on the other hand . . . she was the one absolutely committed to the loa.

    • http://www.facebook.com/angus.mcmahan Angus McMahan

      I usually go with Marie I, but Marie II definitely increased the ‘brand’ presence.

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