When Your Husband Wants Sex…Again

4 When You’re Disappointed By Your Spouse Shaunti Feldhahn

Wives, does your husband want sex…again? It’s not just a physical need — it’s also about emotions. Here are three things he’s not saying out loud when he comes to you for sex:

1. “I need to feel desirable.”  We women may think sex is just a physical need for a guy, but that’s not most of what is going on. When his wife responds to him – or initiates it herself! – it meets a deep emotional need to feel that his wife desires him.

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  • CJ

    My wife will never know how much she has cut my heart to shreds by this. You nail this topic so immensely well that it hurt just to read line-by-line, word-by-word. The rejection and gaping hole that it has created may never be filled. I pray to God daily that my marriage — which has many more layers of devastation and pain — can somehow be healed. At this point, I don’t ever see my wife changing her heart and attitude toward me and our marital covenant, but I have to hold on to hope. Had I had even an inkling of what life in this marriage would be, I never would have married to begin with to save heartache for both of us.

    Wives out there everywhere, please take what Shaunti writes to heart. It’s not that us husbands are just out for our own physical pleasure (that is one benefit), but that emotional closeness and vulnerability is so tremendous you’ll never know. With every rejection, with every love-making session that ends with you just disconnecting and turning your back to us and pulling up the covers in bed, for the deafening silence that slices through our hearts when you don’t validate your desire for us as your husband, you are pretty much destroying every shred of love and closeness and goodwill that we are wanting to offer. Who wants to do anything for his queen when she emasculates you frequently? Who wants to cherish and honor someone who builds walls brick-by-brick no matter how close you want to connect spiritually, emotionally and physically with the woman you made a covenant with (and sealed by God) you and has basically grown cold, turned her back on you and wants no part of growing closer together?