Ladies, do you know how to support your normal, visually-wired husband in this abnormal culture? 4 actions that matter

1. Show him you’re someone he can talk to about it. Regardless of where your man lands on the visual temptation spectrum, a calm conversation is the starting point.  But many men are hesitant to talk, since they are convinced their wives will never understand – or, worse, will be hurt.  So no matter what you’re [Read More…]

Is your wife worried about something? 3 things to NEVER say.

1. “Just don’t think about it.”  Women have no idea what that means.  If she’s worried that her best friend suddenly isn’t talking to her, she has no way to not think about it.  As men, you have this amazing ability to close out an unwelcome thought – almost like closing out a window on [Read More…]

How do I convince my wife to let me see her body?

Dear Shaunti, OK, awkward question but here goes: how can I convince my wife to let me see her in all her glory?  We have a decent sex life, we don’t have any real marriage problems, and I’m careful to not check out other women.  But she still seems to feel like how she looks [Read More…]

Is your wife asking, “Are we okay?” 4 triggers that make her feel insecure in your relationship

1. Conflict. For most guys, conflict is just conflict; it is fairly easy to put it out of your head and focus on whatever you’re doing that day.  But for most women… not so much. In my research for For Men Only, one woman explained it this way: “A lot of desperate feelings surface when [Read More…]

Believing the Best Isn’t Letting Him Off the Hook

Dear Shaunti, In one of your books, you say it’s important to believe the best of your spouse’s intentions.  But all that does is give your spouse license to hurt you again and again without consequences.  Who cares what their intentions are, if the result is pain?  My husband says things that are harsh to [Read More…]

Diamond Disappointment: If the ring is cheap, does it mean his feelings are too?

The day my boyfriend asked me to marry him was one of the happiest days of my life. He went all out: perfect location, meaningful words, and down on one knee with a lovely ring. At the time, I wouldn’t have changed a thing. But now, just a few months before the wedding, my ring has become a source of stress. I’d honestly like something bigger, with a bit more style. My fiancé says we don’t have that kind of money, but he doesn’t seem to have a problem buying fancy accessories for his car. I’m worried that his lack of “splurging” on my ring means that he just doesn’t prioritize what matters to me – which means he doesn’t prioritize me. What do I do with that? I’m willing to forego eating out or whatever we need to do to upgrade my ring, but he’s not budging on the budget.
[Read more…]

Your husband wants sex? 3 things he’s not saying out loud

Welcome to the weekly list at Ask Shaunti! Each Wednesday, join me as I share a few of the little, eye-opening things about men, women, and relationships that make a big difference in marriages and families. Your husband wants sex? 3 things he’s not saying out loud: 1. “I need to feel desirable.”  We women may [Read More…]


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