How Often Do Men Need to Have Sex?

youngcouple shoulder shotSmall

Dear Shaunti,

You’re the researcher, so please tell me the real answer: How often do guys need to have sex? I just don’t think about sex much; I guess it isn’t a need for me. But my husband says he thinks about it all the time, and he gets crabby that I’m often too tired. Even though I can go weeks or months and not miss it, since he can’t, I try to do the right thing. But oddly, even though he says he’s “deprived”, when I tell him “okay” that just makes him mad. He says he wants me to want it like he does. I feel like I can’t win. But if I knew how often a man needs sex I could plan on that, and hopefully that would help. [Read more...]

Advice: My Male Co-Workers Argued with Me While I was Performing Surgery

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Dear Shaunti: As the new medical director at a large hospital and top surgeon, I am a qualified woman with excellent experience in the medical field and in management. But I seem to be having a really hard time with my male coworkers since I was promoted. I work with a lot of men and [Read More...]

Think Before You Ask: The Statements Your Questions Make

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Dear Shaunti: I just got married to a great guy who has always loved my inquisitive, problem-solving nature.  Or at least he used to.  Lately, he has been getting more and more annoyed with it.  He shuts down so easily.  Or if I ask a simple question he acts as if it is the ultimate [Read More...]

Solving Grumpy Guy

It is your fault! Angry young couple looking at each other and keeping arms crossed while sitting close to each other on the couch

Dear Shaunti: My husband is an involved dad, a leader at our church, the type of guy people look to for advice, and he goes over and above his requirements on the job.  But he is often grumpy and withdrawn at home.   He gets upset at the littlest things I say.  He seems to think [Read More...]

His Temper May Be Fiery, But Your Criticism Is Explosive Fuel

Relationship Difficulties

Dear Shaunti: My husband has an anger problem, and I don’t know how to handle it. We’ve always had “intense discussions,” but lately he’s been getting furious and walking away. Last night, we got into a fight on our way out of a restaurant, just because I told him that he shouldn’t have eaten so [Read More...]

My Eyes are Up Here: Can I Be Seen as Pretty AND Professional?

Young boss of corporation

Dear Shaunti: I am a female attorney, age 29, working at a large and prestigious litigation firm. I have a law degree from a top-five school, graduated near the top of my class, am smart, experienced and able to handle any case that is thrown at me. Yet at my firm I am surrounded by [Read More...]

When Sleeping Handsome ruins a date night

Sleeping man

Dear Shaunti: I’m so angry with my husband that I could spit. Every now and then Dave ignores a much-needed opportunity for us to be together, and does something else instead. Like last weekend: after months of working overtime, we recently had a day all to ourselves. The kids were even at a sleepover with [Read More...]


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