Prep Time In the Bathroom Could Pay Off In the Bedroom

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Dear Shaunti: I used to really look forward to our Friday night date nights, but they’ve become a source of tension. For meetings at work, my wife is spot on time. But for our dates, she takes SO LONG getting ready you’d think she’s about to compete on “Dancing with the Stars.” I’m a pretty [Read More...]

Hard Truths are Still True: Taking Care of Yourself Shows You Care for Your Marriage

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Dear Shaunti,

I can hardly write this, I’m so upset by one of your columns. You shared that it was important for a woman to “take care of herself” for her husband, and that it was “the effort that mattered” not the results. First of all, this is a dangerous throwback to 1950’s America where the little woman was supposed to greet the conquering hero at the door in a skirt and high heels. The notion that a woman should have to do that makes me sick. But more important, I am deeply skeptical of your contention that the effort is what matters to men. Any man who says he wants his wife to take care of herself, is really saying that he wants the Sports Illustrated supermodel and if she doesn’t meet that standard, it’s time to trade her in for a newer model. I cannot believe that someone with your experience and education would be so susceptible to misogynistic propaganda. How can you possibly defend what these men are saying? [Read more...]

Let’s Get Physical: Health Body, Healthy Marriage

Frustrated Overweight Woman Measuring Waist In Bathroom

Dear Shaunti, I am definitely not the size I was when I married my husband. But honestly, 4 kids and 25 years later, I don’t see it ever happening. The problem is that I recently overheard my brother saying something about how happy he was, now that his wife was getting in shape. It irritated [Read More...]

Good Dates Begin With Good Compliments

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Dear Shaunti, I’m in deep soup with my wife, and I don’t know why. We went out for a really nice dinner last night – an actual date without the kids. We were both excited about it beforehand, but by the time we got in the car, it was obvious she was bummed. At the [Read More...]


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