How can I get my wife to stop playing games with me?

Dear Shaunti, How do I get my wife to not play games, and just share what she’s thinking? Two days ago, we dropped off our youngest child at college, so my wife and I planned two days of empty-nester sightseeing on the way back. Yesterday was fine, but this morning, my wife seemed down, but [Read More...]

How can I force my husband to listen to me?

Dear Shaunti, I feel like my husband is a total avoider. When we get into an argument, all he wants to do is ignore the situation and escape to the TV room. He doesn’t care that we need to talk it through. What can I do to get him to talk to me? – Wanting [Read More...]

Men can’t help noticing attractive women – does that make it ok for them to lust?

Dear Shaunti, I read in your book that even happily married men struggle with looking at other women and even have images from the past pop-up in their minds. Does this mean that it’s OK for men to lust after women because they are wired this way? – Perplexed Dear Perplexed, No doubt about it, [Read More...]

How do I get my wife to realize not every problem has to be fixed right this minute?

Dear Shaunti, I work long hours at a power plant, and my wife often sends me text messages or calls me about little issues happening that day. Like, a minor problem she’s having at the house. Or that our daughter skinned her knee at preschool. Or something came up with a dinner she’s planning. Usually, [Read More...]

A wife who keeps score

Dear Shaunti, I love my wife, but I really hate her “things you do wrong” list. I pull away to avoid it, but the more I pull away, the more tempted I am to check out of the relationship. During normal times, things are fine. But whenever we argue about something, out comes the list [Read More...]

Say This To Your Wife

Beautiful woman profile

Dear Shaunti, I’m in deep soup with my wife, and I don’t know why. We went out for a really nice dinner last night – an actual date without the kids. We were both excited about it beforehand, but by the time we got in the car, it was obvious she was bummed. At the [Read More...]

Why Your Teen Won’t Talk to You

Becky's hand

Dear Shaunti, In the last few months, it has gotten so hard for my teenage daughter to talk to me. I learn everything from listening to her tell her friends. Yesterday I overheard her telling a friend about being a finalist in a writing contest at school. When I asked her about it, she said [Read More...]


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