I’m Unhealthy and My Wife is Unhappy

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Dear Shaunti,

Things haven’t been great between me and my wife the past few months. I’m not happy at work, we’re behind on our bills, and I’ve been pretty down. I’ve gained thirty pounds in the last year from eating a lot of junk and watching a lot of TV, which is not good because I’m a diabetic. I’ve wound up in the emergency room a couple times because of high blood sugar. My wife says she’s fed up and if I don’t start taking my health seriously and start looking for a job that makes me “less miserable” (her words, not mine), she is going to move in with her parents. I don’t know how I’d make it without her – she’s truly my better half and best friend. I just feel so paralyzed. What do I do? [Read more...]

Lackluster Sex Life? Be a Flirt!

Enjoying time together. Beautiful young loving couple lying in bed together and looking at each other with smile

Dear Shaunti,

My husband and I were both pretty sexually inexperienced when we first got married, so everything about our sex life was new, mysterious and exciting. But now we have two teenagers and we both work full-time. When we find the time for physical intimacy, it feels very forced. Like we’re just going through the motions. And that old spark isn’t there outside the bedroom either. A friend suggested that we watch porn movies to get us back to the old excitement, but I’m really not comfortable with it – is that something we should consider? I just want us to be excited about our physical relationship again. It sounds like a cliché to ask what we can do to spice things up again, but… what can we do to spice things up again? [Read more...]

Should I Pray For God to Make Me More … Um … Amorous?

Depressed Woman With Man In Background On Bed

Dear Shaunti,

Since sex is so important to my husband, and since you say it’s really about a man feeling desired by his wife, what can I do to get engaged and interested instead of just “accommodating” him? I know that just “going along with it” would be pretty depressing for him. But to be honest, I don’t feel that same type of desire for him, that he apparently feels for me. Don’t get me wrong; I enjoy it when we’re together. I just don’t have this overwhelming need to “go at it” the same way he does. Should I just pray for God to give me that desire? Or what? [Read more...]

Don’t Spaz Over His Need for Space

Conflict between the man and the woman

Dear Shaunti:

My husband and I haven’t been married very long, and I am scared about something. We have never fought much, but just had our first horrible argument. I was expecting him to “make up” with a hug or something, but he wouldn’t. Instead, he mumbled something about needing to run errands, grabbed his keys, and took off! [Read more...]

Think Before You Ask: The Statements Your Questions Make

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Dear Shaunti: I just got married to a great guy who has always loved my inquisitive, problem-solving nature.  Or at least he used to.  Lately, he has been getting more and more annoyed with it.  He shuts down so easily.  Or if I ask a simple question he acts as if it is the ultimate [Read More...]

The Pressure Behind Your Pricetags: Understanding Your Husband’s Need to Provide

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Dear Shaunti, My husband makes a good income, and I always stick to our budget, but my husband is always nervous about my spending, and it makes me nuts.  He’s not a control freak in any other area except this. He checks our bank account every day to see how much I have spent on [Read More...]

Check Yourself as a Mate: Being a Wife Instead of a Boss

Worried Couple Discussing Domestic Finances At Home

Dear Shaunti, My husband runs his own construction business, and even though he’s in charge it really does feel like “our” business in most ways. I used to be in the industry, so I know the market. And I’ve been very supportive of him dipping into our personal finances to personally pay our staff when [Read More...]


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