Should I Pray For God to Make Me More … Um … Amorous?

Depressed Woman With Man In Background On Bed

Dear Shaunti,

Since sex is so important to my husband, and since you say it’s really about a man feeling desired by his wife, what can I do to get engaged and interested instead of just “accommodating” him? I know that just “going along with it” would be pretty depressing for him. But to be honest, I don’t feel that same type of desire for him, that he apparently feels for me. Don’t get me wrong; I enjoy it when we’re together. I just don’t have this overwhelming need to “go at it” the same way he does. Should I just pray for God to give me that desire? Or what? [Read more...]

How Often Do Men Need to Have Sex?

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Dear Shaunti,

You’re the researcher, so please tell me the real answer: How often do guys need to have sex? I just don’t think about sex much; I guess it isn’t a need for me. But my husband says he thinks about it all the time, and he gets crabby that I’m often too tired. Even though I can go weeks or months and not miss it, since he can’t, I try to do the right thing. But oddly, even though he says he’s “deprived”, when I tell him “okay” that just makes him mad. He says he wants me to want it like he does. I feel like I can’t win. But if I knew how often a man needs sex I could plan on that, and hopefully that would help. [Read more...]

No Make-Up Sex For Her!

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Dear Shaunti, The other day, I got into a big fight with my wife. In an attempt to make things right, I tried to get intimate–and she got furious! We’ve only been married a few years, and honestly we don’t fight that much. But I’ve heard from lots of friends that make up sex is [Read More...]

How can I get my wife off my back when it comes to health and fitness?

Man choosing donut instead of apple

Dear Shaunti, My wife is constantly nagging me about taking care of myself, but I feel like I’m doing a good enough job where that is concerned. I work out sometimes, and try to eat healthy when I can, although I do enjoy some junk food! Lately, I’ve been noticing that she seems to be [Read More...]

Fill Up His Mental Rolodex So No One Else Can

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Dear Shaunti: I read your book, For Women Only, and one thing you said scared me. You explained how men can’t not notice a woman with a good figure, but that many men try to look away so they don’t start lusting after every hot chick they see. Since I read that, whenever we’re walking [Read More...]

Too Tired for Sex?

Stop read the book

Dear Shaunti, We have young kids, and often I’m so exhausted that I just want to go to sleep without my husband trying to start something. Most of the time I have absolutely no interest in sex late at night, after running afternoon carpool, juggling karate and ballet lessons, making dinner, helping with homework (my [Read More...]

My wife is unenthusiastic about sex – and I’m frustrated!

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Dear Shaunti, It seems like I am always the one to initiate sex. Even when I do, my wife sometimes seems less than enthusiastic.  In other ways, we have a great relationship, but this is a big deal for me and it really bums me out. What can I do so that she finds me [Read More...]


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