See the Good in Others

What do you notice in people? The Practice: See the good in others. Why?Many interactions these days have a kind of bumper-car quality to them. At work, at home, on the telephone, via email: we sort of bounce off of each other while we exchange information, smile or frown, and move on. How often do we actually take the extra few seconds to get a sense of what's inside other people - especially their good qualities?In fact, because of what scientists call the brain's "negativity bias" … [Read more...]

Give Over To Good

What is living you? The Practice: Give over to good. Why?In every moment, you and I and everyone and everything else - from quantum foam to fleeting thoughts, intimate relationships, rainforest ecosystems, and the stars themselves - are each a kind of standing wave, like the ever-changing though persistent pattern of water rising above a boulder in a river.We are the result of multiple causes flowing through us. As Buckminster Fuller famously said, "I seem to be a verb."This fact … [Read more...]

Feel Cared About

When Have People Been Caring? The Practice: Feel cared about.  Why?Everyone knows what it's like to care about someone. Remember being with a friend, a mate, a pet: you feel warmly connected, and want him or her not to suffer and to be happy.On the other hand, you've probably had the sense, one time or another, of not being cared about. That you didn't matter to another person, or to a group of people. Maybe they weren't actively against you, but they sure weren't for you.As soon as you … [Read more...]

Be Friendly

Friend or Foe? The Practice: Be friendly. Why?Friendliness is a down-to-earth approach to others that is welcoming and positive.Think about a time when someone was friendly to you - maybe drawing you into a gathering, saying hello on the sidewalk, or smiling from across the room. How did that make you feel? Probably more included, comfortable, and at ease; safer; more open and warm-hearted.When you are friendly to others, you offer them these same benefits. Plus you get rewarded yourself. … [Read more...]

Say Thanks

Say Thanks - Just One Thing

Each Thanksgiving holiday, we are reminded to be thankful. When times are tough, finding reasons to be thankful may be challenging or even seem inappropriate or impossible. This year, before we sit around the dinner table, let’s think about the myriad benefits to saying thanks, and how to truly savor the opportunity, no matter what.What do others give you? The Practice: Say thanks. Why?What do you feel when someone thanks you for something? For a comment in a meeting, a task done at h … [Read more...]

The Evolution of Love

How did we evolve the most loving brain on the planet?Humans are the most sociable species on earth – for better and for worse.On the one hand, we have the greatest capacities for empathy, communication, friendship, romance, complex social structures, and altruism. On the other, we have the greatest capacities for shaming, emotional cruelty, sadism, envy, jealousy, discrimination and other forms of dehumanization, and wholesale slaughter of our fellow humans.In other words, to paraphrase a … [Read more...]


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