Looking from Lammas to Mabon

The Wheel is turning. I feel it. High summer’s heat is softened ’round the edges. It’s bite is less sharp, though no less taxing when getting three children in and out of stifling car seats. I’m tired of sweating. I never like to rush a season, for time moves swiftly enough as it is, but I cannot wait for late summer, when the Wheel slips toward Mabon and full on Fall.

I am looking forward to the colors of leaves, to brisk air in the mornings, to rain, to the dark. I want to be able to wear my baby on long walks with out worry that she’ll get overheated or my shirt will plaster itself to me all damp and stinky. I’m tired of smelling – of sweat, pee, and sour milk.

I can say that I want quiet time, but I get that every now again. Sitting in meditation reminds me that I have ‘quiet time PTSD.’ Every five seconds I’m braced for a child to come wailing or stomping into my lap. I twitch at every sound: is that the baby about to stir? No? Are the kids just talking or is the Big Brother bullying his sister? No? I’m poised to parent. This constant stopping and starting is so incredibly taxing.

I’m grateful for the quiet time I do get. In my last post I wrote about not letting the tyranny of perfectionism prevent me from doing the things that I know I like, that are good for me, that are helpful, even if they’re not in perfect packages. But sometimes I’m tired of five minutes here and there. I’m tired of  filling my days with a tiny bit of this and that. Some days even the good things feel like one more Should.

What I want is to frolic. I was reading a blog post by a mentor of mine and I had a flash of desire: a circle of women, holding hands, dancing in the sunset in an unkempt yard – mine! Wreaths in hair, late summer sunset, the smell of earth and parched grass trampled under foot, the sounds of crickets and laughter, chanting and enchanting. Frolicking with the Fey. That’s what I need.

witchesdancinginacircleI’m tired of practice and small efforts. I want to frolic, to do, to revel in what I’ve gained thus far. That is what I’m craving as the Wheel turns.

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  • Merrydew

    I have a simple question about pagan holidays in general… Is there a greeting or blessing we can give to people during these times? I have friends who are Pagan and it seems to me I should be able to greet them with something similar to “Merry Christmas” that relates to their ritual days/holidays. I do expect there to be more than one since there are 8 points to the calendar. Is there somewhere to go to find a list of greetings/blessing? Thank you.

    • http://www.patheos.com/blogs/awitchsashram/ A Witch’s Ashram

      The thing is not every Pagan celebrates the same holidays. I would just ask. Or just say something generic, but sincere: Happy holidays!


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