Crashing, and hard

I have had a long summer and I'm feeling frayed.  I'm back from my last trip and while it was good, I've got the shakes and I'm extra super double plus sensitive. I'm coming down from constantly being on the go or being in between trips, holding space for many others, and keeping it together for just one more day/week/trip. I'm on the verge of a melt down, I think. It's been a long time coming. I feel physically exhausted and bloated and sore. I'm mentally overwhelmed with the long list of … [Read more...]

Full moons, tarot, and the transit of Venus

It's an astrological bonanza right now. I don't know much about astrology, and I tend to be rather agnostic about it. As in most things, if I find some truth, or my experience lines up, I'll take it; if not, I won't. For example, I find that full moons make me buzz and jittery, and my head often gets scattered. Whereas the dark moon draws me inward, helps me feel focused, but even more like a homebody than usual. This seems to match up with people I've known who work in law enforcement, mental … [Read more...]

A love song for Juneau

I haven't lived in Juneau, Alaska, for over a decade. I've spent little more than a handful of weeks at a time there. Home for me these days is Olympia, Washington. I've just recently returned from a 'long weekend' in California, a stunningly beautiful part of the world. There were six ladies present: three of whom live in California (two in the Bay Area, one in the LA area), two in the Pacific North West (me and one in Seattle), and one who lives in Alaska - Anchorage. But five of us are from … [Read more...]

Everything I need for this quarter I learned from Hinduism

On my last entry the ever insightful Niklas suggested I think about things in terms of house-holding. I've been mulling over that this week. I've barely tended my outside shrine, hardly had time or focus to sit. I find that I need to adjust my shrine, or else accept that everything will rust. But there's always one more load of laundry to deal with, one more diaper to change, one more need to meet.While the ideas of Place and Land have little overlap with Hindu spirituality proper, the … [Read more...]

Recovery

Staycation 2012 was both a dud and an exercise in recovery. I did very little of my normal workload: spiritual practices, writing, cleaning, cooking, etc. It was nice to take a break. To sit. To read fiction. I freed up some space to deal with some lingering dysfunction. That wasn't quite how I wanted to spend my free time, and yet.... it was necessary and freeing. I didn't have my normal distractions and some unresolved personal junk demanded attention. I took off some of my armor and I'm … [Read more...]

Rest

I've talked about how I struggle with vulnerability. I also struggle with rest. Part of this is because I'm a naturally energetic and enthusiastic person. I like doing! Part of it is I internalize not doing with wasting time and taking up space. I do not heap this judgment on others; it's a special judgment I keep for myself. Resting can mean sitting on the couch, but I'd better be Reading Important Works or Thinking Deep Thoughts. Funny, all the time I spend on the internet isn't all that … [Read more...]

Vulernability

I know vulnerability doesn't relate specifically with Christianity. But it seems to be the theme of late. At least this week. Ok, who am I kidding? It's probably my life's work. Why? Because I am lousy at it.A couple of people directed my attention to this TED talk on vulnerability yesterday, so this morning I sat down with my cup of tea and decided to listen to it.... while I read email. Because, it's about vulnerability, see, and what could it possibly say that would demand twenty minutes … [Read more...]


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