Y’all Suck At Sinning

It was the common belief 40 years ago, and still for some living today, that the beautiful liberation the modern world now experiences - in its freedom from sexual taboos, freedom of 'choice', redefinition of love and marriage, denial of basic moral principles, etc. - was all very bold, very brave, very rad, man. If the movement could be personified, it would have been a tall, lusty woman who spoke confidently and sweetly, with dark eyes and flowers adorning her naked body. One doesn't have to r … [Read more...]

How To Report On the Catholic Church

Now between the Pope not approving the use of condoms, the Bishops not saying that gay marriage is cool, World Youth Day and everything else, I've been reading a good deal of media coverage on the Catholic Church. Being an intuitive human being, I couldn't help but notice some patterns in this coverage. Thus, in an effort to help the new journalist about to concoct his first article about the Church, I have developed a template for the perfect article to report on any Catholic event. It's … [Read more...]

5 Reasons Contraceptives Suck

...and an alternative to said suckage. 1. Risk CompensationDid you know that sunscreen users have a higher incidence of skin cancer than non-users? Crazy, right? It's because of the general principle called Risk Compensation; that when you feel more secure you engage in riskier behavior. People using sunscreen spend more time in the sun, and thus get skin cancer, because no sunscreen is a guaranteed protection. The same is absolutely true of the use of artificial contraception. You … [Read more...]

Abortion Won’t Die…

...unless artificial contraception dies with it.(As you may know, I'm being convicted of this fact as I run around with my camera, filming a people whose goal it is to rid the world of the various nuisances that get between husbands and wives in their attempts to make love. This includes condoms, chemicals, cement walls, the 24 hour news cycle, etc. etc.)It's simple really. Telling someone to use contraception but not to have an abortion is like telling them "Do whatever you can not to … [Read more...]

An Amateur Opposition of a Female Priesthood II

In which Caitie Beardmore and I continue our brilliant discussion, and become more and more convinced that we are right, and that the idea of a female priest is (rushes to thesaurus.com to find a more polite word than 'stupid') simply puerile.That's not  becoming Jesus...Marc - Don't want you to think that I'm leaving ya in the dust.. Am out of town this weekend. Will be back and on the reply tomorrow! :)Caitie, gosh darn it. and i was getting all into this 'male … [Read more...]

An Amateur Opposition of a Female Priesthood

In which an email conversation between Catie Beardmore - a Catholic University student who blogs a bit herself - and my own self proves to the universe that it doesn't take a mature theologian to realize that some ideas just straight suck.Hi Marc! How ya been?Wondering if you could help me with something..I encounter, on a daily basis, good Catholics who do not understand why we can't ordain women into the priesthood. These are not individuals who maliciously oppose the Church; and I … [Read more...]

How Not To Reach Kids

As a teenager often evangelized to, I would like to point out some mistakes people make in regards to 'selling' Catholicism. The first is that it needs to be sold.The Colbert Report Mon - Thurs 11:30pm / 10:30cPope's Baseball Cap & CatholicTVwww.colbertnation.comColbert Report Full Episodes Political Humor & Satire Blog Video ArchiveIt doesn't work. And anyways, it's a stupid thought that drives a lot of youth ministry; that "we … [Read more...]

(Modern) Feminists Are Stupid

So there I was, sipping on Nyquil, when it was brought to my attention that the video I made had approximately a bajillion views, which written in numbers looks something like 3,330, give or take a few zeros. So I said to myself, "Self. This might mean a few thousand/million newcomers to your blog!" to which my self responded, "Hey! Brilliant deduction, big guy!" So I figured, goodness, what better way to welcome such lost and frightened individuals then to offend a large group of people! … [Read more...]


Part of what's great about being Catholic is that it makes things deeper. For instance, I was giving blood at my high-school the other day, and, happily watching it drip from my veins into a bag, I remembered that I had gone to mass that morning. Then that blew my mind, because I drank the blood of God at mass, which was assumedly running through the same veins that now had needles sticking out of them, giving blood. The sacrifice he made for me was, in a very real way, giving me the grace and … [Read more...]

Pictures of Naked Women!

Are not here, you dumbass.You get Hillaire Belloc instead, just for clicking on something you shouldn't. Actually, let's be honest, he is quite attractive...What is here is a post inspired by a guy who runs a blog, The Problem of Porn, about his experiences growing up in a family running a porno shop. I like reading what he says, because it's very honest, and it got me to thinking about the real problem of porn:The greatest crime of our pornographic culture is not … [Read more...]