Language of Love, Language of Rights

For all the warm feelings that squelch up into consciousness whenever we mention human rights (can you feel all 30 of them lodged in you chest?), and despite the festivity with which we annually gift the world with a New Universal Human Right (you just didn't know you had it yet, morons) -- the language of rights tends to make us miserable.A friendship described in terms of rights is far from friendly. I could only consider myself as having "the right to be respected" and my friend as having … [Read more...]

Chesterton, Shaw, and the Effect of Laughter on Insult

The Internet hath done wondrous deeds, but raising the intellectual bar cannot counted among them. This became clear when I realized the question man alone has the dignity to ask -- Am I a creature or an accident? -- is being answered by taking screenshots of our oppositions' Facebook statuses, rebutting them in Impact font, and posting them in a forum appropriated for the caress of our preconceived notions and the heavy petting of our unexamined faith. In this climate of awful, between the "God … [Read more...]

4 Ways The Gay Marriage Debate Has Been Rigged

Christians, Catholics, men and women with same-sex attraction, advocates of Gay Marriage and dissenters of the same:The Gay Marriage debate is no debate. It has been rigged, framed and devalued into a series of pre-ordained slogans for each "side" to scream, to the point that entering into it now is less like having an argument and more like getting punched in the face by a Snorlax on crack.There's nothing quite as depressing, for the simple reason that everyone involved is obliged … [Read more...]

In Case You’re Feeling Down and Depressed…

...about the whole government-hates-us thing -- or in case you're depressed about anything, really -- I have something for you. This is American Protestant preaching at its best:Let us never forget that our Lord goes before us, winning our battles. … [Read more...]

How To Love Your Neighbor

Our culture is drunk with a compassion for humanity. This would be fine and dandy but for the fact that we haven't a drop left for actual human beings. We simultaneously want cooperations that behave generously, philanthropically and kindly to the poor, and anti-begging laws to keep the poor away from us. We somewhat vaguely want to make the lives of women to be easier, and we are willing to kill the unborn human for it. We believe that all of humanity deserves free medical treatment, which is … [Read more...]

Hiding The Poor

Christ famously said, in somewhat of a backhand slap at social organizers, philanthropists, eugenicists and the like, that "the poor you will always have with you." Here in the peachy keen United States, the wealthy have the misfortune of being both entirely aware and entirely ignorant of the reality of Christ's words. We are entirely aware of the numbers. Our media keeps us splendidly informed of the unemployment rate, the crime rate, the fact that 58.5% of Americans will spend at least one … [Read more...]

A Gay Reader Writes…

It seems whenever we have a discussion about gay marriage (or gay-anything, really) a fairly obnoxious false dichotomy is assumed, that the evil, sodomizing, humanity-hating gays are fighting the bigoted, hate-filled, rabidly intolerant Christians. This need not be the case. For all the times this dichotomy has been perpetuated by Christians; I sincerely apologize. Though no words can heal the hurt caused by hatred and rejection, know that my daily prayers are with you. But it must also be … [Read more...]

5 Ways Opening the Door for Women Can Go Terribly Wrong

The young Catholic man is taught - perhaps even more than most - to open doors for women. His mother demands this of him, knowing that chivalry is a wonderful virtue to practice. His father demands the same, knowing that his son is going to need all the help he can get to attract women, wondering only vaguely what happened to all his family's good-looking genes. This all goes to prove the point that virtue is at once desirable and practical. It offers both heavenly and earthly reward. This fact … [Read more...]

How To Love a Girl

There are two ways not to love a girl. The first is the most obvious, and hardly needs mention, but for totality's sake, I put before you the Secular Humanist Model. This model, from every angle and direction it's looked at, sucks. You've all heard it before, its maxim - anything goes between two consenting adults - and its one and only commandment - unless otherwise specified, no cheating. This relationship is interesting because it is simultaneously greater and worse than the relationships of … [Read more...]

The Afterthought II which I say all I wanted to say in Loneliness Sucks.I have very little tolerance for idolatry. I would have smashed the desert's porcelain gods along with Muhammad and torn down the golden calf with Moses. I took down my Jimi Hendrix poster because it was in line with my crucifix, and the whole line-of-vision situation was getting awkward. I make sure to not get too excited about coffee, for fear of undue praise to the inanimate, but despite such awe-inspiring intolerance, I can f … [Read more...]