Airports and Giveaways!

So here I am, writing from Chicago, having been lovingly fondled by the TSA for having a Marian Consecration chain around my ankle, which set off the deadly-weapon detector ("Can you take it off for me?" I dunno man, can you divorce your wife for me?). Honestly, I've never had my inner thighs given so much attention.I am being molested in Chicago because I really want to get to Duluth Minnesota, so I can make a film for the American Academy of Fertility Care Professionals there, so they can … [Read more...]

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Realer Than Real

I never really did understand the following complaint made against Catholicism: that it all could be a lie, a clever trick, a joke no one knows who started, with a punchline that never comes. (Have you ever come across the rather interesting atheistic argument in this vein; that maybe the Evangelists just wrote the Gospels for kicks?) No, there's no part of our stodgy old religion that seems particularly deceptive, what with a million books explaining every minute detail and children's … [Read more...]

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An Amateur Opposition of a Female Priesthood II

In which Caitie Beardmore and I continue our brilliant discussion, and become more and more convinced that we are right, and that the idea of a female priest is (rushes to thesaurus.com to find a more polite word than 'stupid') simply puerile.That's not  becoming Jesus...Marc - Don't want you to think that I'm leaving ya in the dust.. Am out of town this weekend. Will be back and on the reply tomorrow! :)Caitie, gosh darn it. and i was getting all into this 'male … [Read more...]

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An Amateur Opposition of a Female Priesthood

In which an email conversation between Catie Beardmore - a Catholic University student who blogs a bit herself - and my own self proves to the universe that it doesn't take a mature theologian to realize that some ideas just straight suck.Hi Marc! How ya been?Wondering if you could help me with something..I encounter, on a daily basis, good Catholics who do not understand why we can't ordain women into the priesthood. These are not individuals who maliciously oppose the Church; and I … [Read more...]

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Suffer On

About two weeks ago, sitting on my front porch and deep-talkin', a dear friend of mine - who plays a dirty blues guitar and has a deep and abiding love of The White Stripes -  relayed to me a conversation he'd had that I've been reflecting on ever since. The topic was Zen Buddhism. Now it came up that, somewhere in Tibet, there was a group of monks who had, by all accounts, done it, found The Answer, achieved Enlightenment and reached Nirvana. Whatever they termed it, it all amounts to this; th … [Read more...]

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Because Catholics Are Dead

Why Aren't You Catholic? is still going strong! If you are not Catholic, and would like to explain why you have found that to be the best choice in your life, feel free to share! I will post on anything that isn't incoherent.In the meantime, from an Anonymous (how I wish he were otherwise, so I could send this to him)."...you can't possibly know how badly I wish I could believe like you guys. I know these 4 things with unshakable certainty. There has never been an extended time in … [Read more...]

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Catholicism: Making Rockstars Since 36 A.D.

"When people have told me that because I am a Catholic, I cannot be an artist, I have had to reply, ruefully, that because I am a Catholic, I cannot afford to be less than an artist."The Colbert Report Mon - Thurs 11:30pm / 10:30cExclusive - 2011: A Rock Odyssey Featuring Jack White - Catholic Throwdownwww.colbertnation.comColbert Report Full Episodes Political Humor & Satire Blog Video ArchiveSo said our dear Flannery O'Connor, and … [Read more...]

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The Crookedhart Emails – Re: Death by a Conviction in Mantillas

No, this is not the lucky result of a google image search. This is Crookedhart. More on it later!Dear Rothoof,I'm happy - a poor choice of word, I know - to hear that your man has found out about Catholic factions. Not to be too optimistic, though we did invent that particular worldview, but this may be all you need to drag him down into our warm, warm, inviting arms. I should rephrase, at any rate. From your email it does not seem that your man has 'found out' factions, for to find … [Read more...]

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How To Be Good

(Disclaimers: stream-of-consciousness, potentially loaded with projections of personal problems as absolutes, too wordy, might be limited to those who feel inclined to evil, if that ain't allayuh, too long.)I agree firmly with whoever Sean Connery was pretending to be in whatever that one movie was called, in which he informed a pupil that one must begin writing before they can write, even if it is merely copying some other work before personal work comes forth. Some day I will show you what … [Read more...]

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Indecent Exposure

In which I demand atheists defend the wearing of pants.I might just be depressed, or maybe I'm a dark-minded and morbid Catholic, but I can't help but agree with Robert Browning: "There may be a heaven; there must be a hell." I can enter into some solidarity with today's atheist, that it's difficult to know if there's some absolute good in the universe, but we part ways totally when he claims that there's no absolute evil. We may or may not be destined for great heights, but it's painfully … [Read more...]

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