Eucharistic Addiction

(Spoiler Alert: The Eucharist is God in the form of bread and wine.)To hear your average Catholics - alright, let's be honest, to hear some Catholics who actually care about the faith - speak on the Eucharist, I would sympathize with the modern eavesdropper who would leave the conversation thinking that he had overhead a couple of junkies praising a life-consuming drug. Our phrases our peppered with a fiendish, ravenous hunger, from Flannery's "it is the center of existence for me; all the … [Read more...]

The Crookedhart Emails – Re: You’re an Idiot

Dear Rothoof,There's just no other way to say it: You are an inadequate excuse for a demon. I told you which church to send him to, did I not? I told you that the ideal situation for your man to be in was one of considering Catholicism as merely another denomination, to see The Church as a church. This would have been delightful, as it subtly creates in the man a lack of commitment, a sense of well-I-can-always-leave-for-another that would dull him. The Bride of Christ would have been, for … [Read more...]

How To Read Blogs

Rule Number One: Use your eyeballs.Sorry I haven't p-p-p-posted in like chika-chika-4 days. I have been white-water rafting in the grand canyon, killing bald eagles, and dressing in their skin. Actually I was at Franciscan University, which really amounts to the same thing, meeting new people, (including some fellow bloggers, like the ever wonderful Michelle who writes at Catholic Unveiled, and deserves your attention, AND support, for she is heading off to Mexico to live the Catholic … [Read more...]

The Crookedhart Emails – Re: Catholics Cheat!

Dear Rothoof,The first thing I would like to strike from your mind is the idea that, since your man is Catholic, you have to change your game. While it's true, Catholics have infuriating quirks and delicious weaknesses that must be taken into account, the basics stay the same, the Infernal Catechism still applies: Make him sin.I took the liberty of checking your man's file, and I see that upon becoming Catholic, he has made some renewal, some promise to put a stop to the sexual sins that … [Read more...]

The Crookedhart Emails – Introduction

Dear Rothoof,May I begin by saying you're a damned fool? (The 'damned', of course, was my attempt at humor, for - as we all know - Our Kingdom Below is the only place where intelligence and sanity still reign, and really, it's the Place We Left that holds the damned, under the iron rule of Our Stupid Enemy.)But you truly are a fool. Your man has become a Catholic, primarily as a result of your lazy negligence. I specifically told you to be wary of the influence of his grandmother; or do you not … [Read more...]

The Desperation of the Atheists

I guess I never realized it, but our non-believing folk are quite excited about the idea of disproving the existence of God. Apparently, it will halt mankind from waging war, smoking, and feeling awkward about gay sex, while simultaneously leading to a brotherhood amongst men via increased time spent on the Holy Internet. But honestly - though these goals send shivers of warmth down my typing fingers - I would venture that the atheist is almost too excited, in that every new discovery - or old … [Read more...]

Good Work

Dear Catholic artists, musicians, filmmakers, writers, photographers, architects, bloggers, designers and everyone else. C.S. Lewis has something extremely important to tell you. Listen. Until quite recently - until the latter part of the last century - it was taken for granted that the business of the artist was to delight and instruct his public. There were, of course, different publics; the street-songs and the oratorios were not addressed to the same audience (though I think a good many … [Read more...]

In Defense of Liturgy the Third

So if everyone practices liturgy, as we began, and if the liturgical denominations have the most accessible and universal liturgy of them all, as we continued, and Catholics the Greatest Liturgy Ever in the Holy Mass (sorta snuck that in, didn't I?), the question remains: why is it so great to have an accessible liturgy? Ignoring the obvious positives accessibility brings, surely that is not all liturgy is. The real question this time, I promise: what is liturgy? After all, I gave you but two of … [Read more...]

In Defense of Liturgy the Second

If, like I've shown, everyone practices liturgy, why then is there a distinction between liturgical denominations and Evangelicals? Why does the latter get grumpy with the former about all their rules, motions and symbols? Now, the common answer goes something like this: "Because, Catholic and Lutheran and all the rest, your ancient liturgy is overly complicated, elitist, snobbish, pretentious, and dripping with wealth. It is all high and detached, boring, old, stuck-in-the-pews, unrelatable to t … [Read more...]

In Defense of Liturgy the First

We've all been there before; still high from the joy of the Mass when, in what can only be termed as a sabbatical buzz-kill, we are approached by the Christian who demands our attention and asks, "Why all the rules, rites and rituals, papist? Why all the custom and tradition? Surely God wants us to love him freely, to approach him personally, authentically, from our hearts: So why the pews, the candles, the kneeling and crossing of thyself?" Or perhaps the question was put to us a little more … [Read more...]


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