The Crookedhart Emails – Re: How To Make a Crap Confession

Dear Rothoof,You disgust me. Do you even try to get people down here? You keep making the same, classic mistake explained in the Infernal Textbook; Letting sentimentality distract you from reality. Let me remind you of how this mistake works, seeing as you appear to be utterly incapable of retaining information in that thick, angelic head of yours.A disgustingly Catholic boy meets a delightfully modern, agnostic girl. They become incomprehensibly and embarrassingly in love, and … [Read more...]

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Madrid, Baby.

Dearest Readers,Now, being particularly situationally-aware individuals, you may have noticed the most excellent and awesome banner that has been gracing the pixel space of BadCatholic these past couple of days. It's great; Pope Benny's giving you that look that says "You said something mildly funny and I'll acknowledge that, but straight up? I'm the Pope." And, upon seeing this, you might have asked yourself, "Oh dearest self, why such a banner?" And the answer is simple. I am leaving … [Read more...]

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The Best Church in the World

It is with great pride and the fondest of memories that I bid my home-parish, St. Thomas Aquinas Catholic Church at the University of Virginia, farewell, and thanks. St. Thomas is a church that gives me hope in the Church. Run by the ever-wonderful Dominicans - who seem to know everything about everything, and are entirely willing to preach about everything at length - I have experienced more spiritual growth within that incense-smelling second-home than anywhere else. So if my posts aren't … [Read more...]

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5 Reasons Contraceptives Suck

...and an alternative to said suckage. 1. Risk CompensationDid you know that sunscreen users have a higher incidence of skin cancer than non-users? Crazy, right? It's because of the general principle called Risk Compensation; that when you feel more secure you engage in riskier behavior. People using sunscreen spend more time in the sun, and thus get skin cancer, because no sunscreen is a guaranteed protection. The same is absolutely true of the use of artificial contraception. You … [Read more...]

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Internet Pride

I have an enormous respect for the way humanity has chosen to describe God. The atheist may mock the "old man in the sky" picture of God as childish, but I admire the same description because it is childish. No, it is not scientifically accurate - nothing is - but it does illustrates a radical accuracy; that we are God's children. That he is a Father. And that he is above us. Ever noticed that atheists aren't great at understanding when we're being metaphorical? Oh well, maybe they're using … [Read more...]

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How To Be Free

"I dare say that when I get out of this bed I shall do some deed of an almost terrible virtue." - GKC There's a simple way to look at a Catholic. It's to take the rosaries, the scapulars, the devotions to obscure Saints, the novenas, the ashes, the fasting and the abstinence; to see all these practices and say, "Legalism. These poor/stupid people are bound to medieval practices. They are not free." It is this view that causes our Fundamentalist brothers and sisters to inform us that we … [Read more...]

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Abortion Won’t Die…

...unless artificial contraception dies with it.(As you may know, I'm being convicted of this fact as I run around with my camera, filming a people whose goal it is to rid the world of the various nuisances that get between husbands and wives in their attempts to make love. This includes condoms, chemicals, cement walls, the 24 hour news cycle, etc. etc.)It's simple really. Telling someone to use contraception but not to have an abortion is like telling them "Do whatever you can not to … [Read more...]

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Airports and Giveaways!

So here I am, writing from Chicago, having been lovingly fondled by the TSA for having a Marian Consecration chain around my ankle, which set off the deadly-weapon detector ("Can you take it off for me?" I dunno man, can you divorce your wife for me?). Honestly, I've never had my inner thighs given so much attention.I am being molested in Chicago because I really want to get to Duluth Minnesota, so I can make a film for the American Academy of Fertility Care Professionals there, so they can … [Read more...]

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Realer Than Real

I never really did understand the following complaint made against Catholicism: that it all could be a lie, a clever trick, a joke no one knows who started, with a punchline that never comes. (Have you ever come across the rather interesting atheistic argument in this vein; that maybe the Evangelists just wrote the Gospels for kicks?) No, there's no part of our stodgy old religion that seems particularly deceptive, what with a million books explaining every minute detail and children's … [Read more...]

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An Amateur Opposition of a Female Priesthood II

In which Caitie Beardmore and I continue our brilliant discussion, and become more and more convinced that we are right, and that the idea of a female priest is (rushes to thesaurus.com to find a more polite word than 'stupid') simply puerile.That's not  becoming Jesus...Marc - Don't want you to think that I'm leaving ya in the dust.. Am out of town this weekend. Will be back and on the reply tomorrow! :)Caitie, gosh darn it. and i was getting all into this 'male … [Read more...]

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