I find myself distracted, unfocused and suffering from a headache today. I’m making no headway on my as-yet-non-post for Ignitum Today, so I’m just going with the distraction in the hopes that it will inspire some sort of creative something.

Welcome to my brain, unedited.

Yesterday I made homemade pop-tarts. I was very disappointed because they didn’t have icing, and as it turns out, what I like most about store-bought pop-tarts is the overly sweet shellacked-cardboard-ey goodness.

The Ogre loved them. The children agreed with me. We win.

Charlotte is currently laying on the floor by my chair, kicking it repeatedly because I won’t give her more sugar. I shouldn’t have given her any in the first place, obviously.

I really want to make Oreos right now, but I spent my whole dedicated baking day making those damn useless pop-tarts. I feel like someone owes me a refund, but I’m pretty sure that’s not how cooking blogs work.

It should be. I still haven’t forgiven the Pioneer Woman for her atrocious Chicken Parmesan.

I’ve paid every single bill on time this month. I know that’s not an achievement for normal, well-adjusted humans, but I have just recently become the one in charge of bill-paying in our house, and mostly I’ve forgotten to do it. This month, not so much. Putting a giant calendar on the wall of our living/schoolroom with the bills and amounts marked on their due dates was very helpful. Refusing to let my inner slacker wait until later was even more helpful.

My inner slacker is currently rejoicing at this brief reprieve from Actual Writing and Actual Housework.

Last night the Ogre and I went to a poetry reading. He offered his students extra credit if they would read a poem. A ton of them showed up. I love these kids. Seriously, they’re very funny and endearing. One of them read Dr. Seuss. There was more than one Wilbur. One kid read a poem by Langston Hughes about the blues, and actually sang the lines that the man in the poem was supposed to be singing. It was the boldest thing I’ve ever seen, and it was a good thing the kid could carry a tune, otherwise it probably just would have been embarrassing. As it was, it was awesome. One girl recited The Jabberwocky. Then one kid read Tupac, and I found myself thinking about how seriously odd Jen Fulwiler is.

I say that with lots of love. I’m odd too, and in a way less cool way. I could probably get through labor by watching Doctor Who, which is much geekier than listening to Tupac. Also, who would I offer my suffering up for if I checked into the Whoniverse? Donna? The Ood? Poor, wretched Old Amy? They’re all good options, but I have a sneaking suspicion that offering up one’s suffering for television characters isn’t actually the point.

Charlotte got her ballet recital costume today. It cost more than a whole month of lessons. I plan on hermetically sealing it post-recital and saving it for future Halloween costumes, in the hopes that by the time my granddaughters have outgrown it, it will have paid for itself.

Charlotte also lost her ballet slippers this morning. We had to order more. This would have been a greater tragedy if her slippers weren’t already so small that it took two adults to get them on her feet.

Liam now wears a larger size shoe than Charlotte.

There’s a baby alligator outside the window, and I’m looking at it right now. Take that, city dwellers! Why would you want the convenience of being able to, say, walk to Trader Joe’s, when you could move here and live amongst frighteningly large reptiles?

I’m drinking tea and eating Smarties. It’s a disgusting combination, I realize that objectively, just like I realized it was vile to put Tabasco on a Milky Way when I was pregnant with Sienna. But pregnancy does weird things to me.

I really dislike chocolate this pregnancy, which is just not normal for me.

Charlotte is now asleep on the carpet. I’m so glad she stopped kicking my chair.

Yesterday morning it was cold outside. Literally cold. I had to put on a sweater, and almost started crying. As it turns out, I don’t miss cold weather when I forget what it feels like. Four solid months of 70 to 80 degree days have actually wiped my memory of the joy that is crisp mornings and cool air. But I remember now.

I hate you, Florida.

Actually that’s not true. Florida is a surprisingly pretty and non-miserable place to live. (Note that I’m saying this before experiencing the reportedly hellish summers.) It would be really perfect if it would just migrate away from the equator a little and get cold in the winter. Or maybe the coming ice age brought on by global warming will help it out a little? We can always hope.

We have a lizard living on our lanai. A lanai is a covered porch/patio. Apparently you have to call it a lanai in Florida. Anyway, the children spend at least an hour every day trying to catch the lizard. He always gets away but can’t ever get off the lanai because the Ogre had to wire the door shut to prevent Liam from killing himself via alligator. I kind of feel sorry for him. The lizard, that is. Not Liam.

I told myself I would write randomly until some external circumstance forced me to get out of this chair and, well, I’m out of Smarties. See you tomorrow.  

  • Bonnie

    I hope you don't take this the wrong way but I'm pretty sure this is my most favorite thing you've ever written. Except now I want Smarties.Also, I'm reading your blog because I can't "get in a groove" for my IT post for tomorrow. Good luck to you.

  • Cam

    We only got here in August, but I'll admit August through September I pretty much had to restrain myself from writing a daily blog about how much I hated the climate here. Sadie remembers today when her Great Grandparents asked on Skype how she liked Florida she said: "It's a little bit too hot here!" I spent months wishing Ave was still in Michigan!

  • Dwija {House Unseen}

    You can add me to the list of "people reading instead of writing"…and gladly. This was so entertaining. I love walking through your brain!

  • Karen

    Um…you could always put frosting on them homemade pop tarts. I don't think the blog recipe police would arrest you. :) I would make a cookie icing frosting, confectioner's sugar thinned with a little cream and vanilla or something. If you don't make it too thick, it will harden into a nice hard frosting 'crust.'

  • lissla lissar

    Are the Smarties in the States chocolate, or like Rockets? Ours are chocolate and now I kind of want some.Apparently Michael Pollan says that you can eat as much junk food as you want as long as you make it yourself. I think this is a bad idea, because I would happily make and eat poutine and ice cream every day if I didn't have small children distracting me.Speaking of which, I should probably pick up my babies. They don't love me anymore. They're shouting at me.

  • Anonymous

    The baby alligator sounds interesting. You could write about that if you want. Lena

  • Daphne

    love the random writing. It's fun:)

  • January

    The Ood! Poor, poor Old Amy. Is it weird that I was just thinking about her this week? That episode distressed me, even though I think they made the right choice. Oh, sorry, you were talking about non-Doctor Who things, weren't you? ::blush::

  • Abigail

    I promised myself I wouldn't comment until I had something useful to say. And my moment has arrived at last!!! is a free service you can link and organize all you're accounts together and it will set up a calandar and email you reminders when your bills are coming due! You can go on there and mark them as paid when you are done. A great feature for those of you who cannot feel fulfilled in life with out checking things off a list. Enjoy and you're welcome. ;-)

  • lissla lissar

    You mean poor old Amy in The Girl who Waited? Yes, that was rough, although it got Rory even more Awesome Points, for saying, "I don't care that you got old. I care we didn't get old together."I love Rory.