Dear Mom,

I know you were upset with me for getting my nose re-pierced last week. I remember how you, Dad, and I fought like cats and dogs when I came home from Italy with it pierced, because y’all had spent so much money while I was in high school fixing the hole that Rhinocort had put in my septum, and here I went off and put another hole in my nose. But with 30 rapidly approaching, I knew that if I wanted to get it pierced again I’d have to do it now, before I got too old for such shenanigans. I did feel bad about it. Just not bad enough.

As it turns out, though, nature is a mother too, and she took your side and gave me a nasty head cold with all the congestion. Do you want to know what’s worse than having a miserable cold and not being able to sleep through it because your equally miserable minions are fighting over your lap? Having a miserable cold that you can’t sleep through and not being able to blow your nose, or really even wipe it, because you just got it pierced and it’s still healing.

Anyway, I just though you’d want to know that mother nature’s got your back, and I know…you told me so.

Love,

Bad Calah