My Monastic Vacation

“Would you please tell me how you got invited to stay in a 13th monastery in Italy?” a friend recently queried me. With the decline of vocations to the religious life in the West, few of us have ever seen inside the walls of a convent or monastery, so my recent stay with the Servants of the Lord and the Virgin of Matara piqued the curiosity of my friends from all religious backgrounds. My curiosity about monastic life started after reading  Thomas Merton’s autobiography The Seven Storey Mountain, a gripping conversion story, in which Merton,  like Saint Augustine centuries ago, turned away from the world of sensual pleasures and worldly honors and embraced an aestetic life of prayer and sacrifice.

In the cloister

But my recent monastic vacation was more like Kathleen Norris’s tale the The Cloister Walk, in which laywoman spends months with Benedictine monks and Norris recounts the beauty of reciting the psalms, the silence, and the slow passage of time. Unlike Merton, who joined a monastery, Norris only visited the monastery, then she wrote about her experiences and made monastic life understandable and appealing to thousands of laypeople like me.

Although I don’t have a vocation to the monastic or religious life, the idea of retreating from the world for a brief period of spiritual refreshment–a monastic vacation–deeply appeals to me. So when I made plans to spend this past Christmas in Rome with my brother and his family, I contacted a religious sister I know in Rome and asked if her order would give me a quiet place to rest and pray for a few days.

Thrilled at her affirmative answer, I took a two-hour train ride north of Rome and was picked up by two young religious sisters and driven to their new convent, which was built in the 13th century and until recently housed the Poor Clares (a Franciscan cloistered order). I was greeted by 80 sisters from 20 different countries–most of them in their 20s and 30s–and was warmly welcomed at all meals, community prayers, and recreational activities. I had a private room in a long, quiet hallway, and the sisters made sure I had heat and hot water, which is not easy to come by in such an old building.

Sisters praying the rosary

What is life like inside of a convent? First, to be clear, these sisters are not monastic–they have a calling work in the world, teaching catechism, running schools and hospitals. Their home was built as a monastery for cloistered nuns who never left the walls. But today’s religious vocations–the relatively few we have in the Catholic Church compared to previous generations–tend to be more like the Servants of the Lord and do corporal and spiritual works of mercy, fortified by vows of obedience, poverty and celibacy, solidified by community life, daily prayers, and intense spiritual direction.

Sisters making dinner

What most struck me was the joy the sisters have–joy in sacrifice and joy in serving others. I literally felt like I was surrounded by 80 of Santa’s elves who were joyfully cooking, sewing, praying and ready to jump and do anything to make me comfortable, or just chat with me over a cup of coffee and some stale bread served with love. The Servants of the Lord wear a beautiful blue and gray habit, the blue symbolizing the humanity of Christ and the gray his divinity, and their eyes and faces radiate generosity of spirit.

My last night at dinner, I got up the nerve to ask, “Don’t you miss the things of the world?” One American sister thoughtfully replied to me with another question, “Well, what do you think people most want in life?” “Happiness,” I said. “Exactly!” she replied. “When I think about the things I gave up but I ask myself  ’Will those things really make me happy?’ And the answer is no. But really the call to this life is supernatural–it’s a calling and a gift from God to live as a sister. It’s deeply fulfilling to embrace this call, but God must call you first.”

Acknowledging that their call to the religious life is just that–a supernatural calling–but there are many laypeople like me who long to share in their joy and community life for a brief period, the sisters throw open their doors to people like me who don’t have a calling to the religious life but do deeply appreciate it. They ask for nothing–just come and be loved, taken care of, and do as much or as little of their religious life and works of service as you choose. There is indeed a deep joy in loving without expecting anything in return.

Dinnertime

So, my monastic vacation was like my own version of Elizabeth Gilbert’s Eat, Pray, Love, except I’m eating, praying and loving all in one place. Frankly, the food wasn’t great–the sisters live off donated food–but I always got served first and was welcome to seconds of whatever they had. The prayer was both deeply personal and my heart was moved in many ways, but I was sure that the communal prayer and the sisters praying for me contributed greatly to my inner growth. Further, experiencing God’s love is much bigger than any romantic love like that chronicled in Eat, Pray, Love.

Although there may be many reasons to lament the decline of religious vocations in the West, one more reason to pray for vocations to religious life is precisely because the religious of the church have long fortified the lay faithful with their prayers and example of warm love and eagerness to serve. We all could use a monastic vacation from time to time, even if our primary vocation, our path to serve God is through our work, families and friendships.

Christmas Liturgy from the Vatican

My niece Selena and kept each other warm outside St. Peter’s in Rome

From Rome, December 25th, 2012

Have you ever wondered what Christmas liturgy at the St. Peter’s Basilica in the Vatican might be like? It follows the exact same structure as any other Mass, but nearly all the prayers are said in Latin, a breathtaking Schola of boys and men leads the singing, and the thousands of faithful who have traveled over many miles and waited many hours in line to get in maintain a reverent silence in the most grand piece of religious architecture you could ever imagine. The result is a breathtaking, deeply reverent liturgy that unites people from every corner of the world and produces profound joy–a foretaste of heaven on earth.

Pope Benedict XVI leaving St. Peter’s Basilica

Of course one big draw to Mass at the Vatican is you get to see and hear the Pope; in fact, Pope Benedict XVI passed about 5 feet from us twice. He had a warm smile, but looks older in person than on camera. His voice was strong and clear throughout the Mass, especially during the homily. His homily was long (by Catholic standards) and all in Italian, but the crowd of thousands sat silently, reverently listening to their Holy Father. As I speak French and Spanish fluently, and I had been practicing Italian in the previous weekly during my “monastic vacation” at a 13th century convent with 80 sisters from 20 different countries, I understood the main points of the Pope’s homily (and read it in English as soon as I got back to my hotel in Rome).

Christ came to bring peace to earth, Pope Benedict said, but if Mary and Joseph knocked at our doors and asked for a place to stay the night, would we have room for them? If religion has been responsible for violence in some instances, the Pope said, the 20th century showed us that eradicating religion won’t eradicate violence. The way to peace is by discovering the splendor of the truth and relying on God’s grace; that is, if  in our materialistic and individualistic culture we can make the time to know God and open our hearts to God’s love.

Pope Benedict XVI concluded his homily thus:

“The shepherds made haste. Holy curiosity and holy joy impelled them. In our case, it is probably not very often that we make haste for the things of God. God does not feature among the things that require haste. The things of God can wait, we think and we say. And yet he is the most important thing, ultimately the one truly important thing. Why should we not also be moved by curiosity to see more closely and to know what God has said to us? At this hour, let us ask him to touch our hearts with the holy curiosity and the holy joy of the shepherds, and thus let us go over joyfully to Bethlehem, to the Lord who today once more comes to meet us. Amen.”

The reverence continued throughout the liturgy of the Eucharist. I even saw an old friend from Princeton University walk past me in line for communion and we quickly exchanged a quiet handshake and Merry Christmas. I also made new friends who stood in line with me outside for five hours–a family from Mexico and another from Denver. We exchanged warm embraces with the nuns from Brazil behind us, the Italians next to us, and the African-Americans in front of us.

The most moving part of the Mass for me was after everyone had received communion and returned to their seats, a peaceful quiet came over the basilica. Suddenly, trumpets blared announcing the birth of the Christ. After one minute of stunning trumpets, the Schola burst out singing:

 ”Adeste, fideles, laeti triumphantes, venite, venite in Bethlehem, natum videte, regem angelorum. Venite adoremus, venite adoremus Dominum.” (O come, all ye faithful, joyful and triumphant. Come ye, o come ye, to Bethlehem, come and behold him, born the king of angels; O come let us adore him, Christ the Lord.)

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The singing is so crystal clear that I would have sworn I heard a single boy’s  voice–just listen to the “venite adoremus” and tell me that doesn’t sound like just one single voice! But watching the performance of “Adeste, Fideles” on YouTube (which I’ve seen at least 10 times in the last 24 hours) I concluded that the entire boys’ choir is so perfectly united they sound like they are one voice. The men’s voices sound like the background chorus to the real stars.

When one of the nuns from Brazil behind me joined in her with own angelic voice singing “venite adoremus”, I then joined in with the crowed. We sang 4 verses in Latin (with the English translations in the booklet we got as we entered). Tears rolled down my face during this stunning musical performance, one that stimulates both active partcipation and deep contemplation of the mysteries contained in words like,

“En grege relicto, humiles ad cunas, vocati pastores adproperant, et nos ovanti, gradu festinemus. Venite adoremus, venite adoremus Dominum.” (See how the sheperds, summonded to his cradle, leaving their flocks, draw nigh to gaze; we too will thither bend our joyful footsteps; O come, let us adore him, O Come, let us adore him, Christ the Lord.)

The Swiss Guards proceeding out of St. Peter’s Basilica

The closing procession featured the unforgettable Swiss guards–who must have the most creative uniforms in the whole world, and “Il Bambino Gesu” (Baby

The Baby Jesus (with a crown) being carried to the Vatican Nativity scene

Jesus) being laid in the Vatican “crèche” (Nativity). At the end of the service, one nun from Brazil said, “People from every nation can sing Adeste Fideles!” But her words express a deeper sense I had on Christmas eve in Rome: despite our different languages and nationalities, the Catholic faithful joined together in one voice in prayer and song, and many moments of collective silence to welcome the birth of our Lord.

Although many other people do not share the Catholic or Christian faith, the peace Christians long for is a deep human longing most people share. Furthermore, ritual is a universal language–which is why nearly all religious communities have rituals and many secular events, such as national parades, are highly ritualistic. In the best of cases, rituals both elicit social solidarity and incite personal transformation. As sociologist Emile Durkheim pointed out long ago, the effects of rituals stay with us long after the ritual itself ends. When I feel personally weak or wonder how the world can overcome the encroaching darkness, I will recall the trumpet blast in St. Peter’s Basilica on Christmas Eve 2012 and my own hopeful singing “Venite adoremus Dominum!” and be taken back to that jubilant liturgy.

First-Hand Accounts of Hurricane Sandy’s Damage in Santiago de Cuba

Hurricane Sandy downed power lines and trees in Santiago de Cuba

Would you consider donating money to help personal friends of mine in Santiago de Cuba who were severely affected by Hurricane Sandy? A friend of the family will visit Santiago de Cuba at the end of November and will deliver the money to them personally. I will send 5% of my monthly income to help. Keeping in mind that the average monthly salary for a professional (such as a doctor or an accountant) in Cuba is just $20, any amount you send will be a great help. If you can help, please send me a private email letting me know how much you can contribute, and you can send me the money at P.O. Box 3210, Chapel Hill, NC 27599-3210. Any amount of money you send will be compounded one hundred fold by their generosity, kindness, and hard work.This received one email from Laura, who I wrote about her on my blog once, with a verbatim translation of her experience of Pope John Paul II’s trip to Cuba.

Sent on November 7th:

“Hi Margarita…. When the storm passed we went out on the few streets where we could still walk and the panorama was very sad and depressing. We were without power for 10 days (all of the kids’ food was spoilt).  Half of the city is still without power and communications. The water that comes out of the tubes is pure dirt; the water is getting a little better but we have to buy bottled water for my nephews because they are still so young and could get really sick from contaminated water. A lot of people are having digestive problems and we have to take lots of preventive measures. My entire office was destroyed—nothing was left standing. Maria lost the ceiling to her bedroom but she’s okay. Your prayers are sufficient; that gives us hope and we know we will get out of this somehow. Love, Laura.”

In this You Tube Video, you can see people describing the damage.

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I got another email from Maria on November 10th.

“Dear Margarita, I’m sorry I didn’t write sooner but with the disasters Julia lost her job because the hurricane ruined everything here. The sea in her area rose to 32 meters (104 feet) and the hotel where she worked disappeared. They will pay her one month of salary and after that she has to find new work or she won’t have anything. I used to write you email from her work; obviously, I can’t do that anymore but I’ll find some way to write to you. The other person who used to let me write email to you is without power and telephone.

Thanks be to God we are all still alive after this holocaust that cost some people their lives. Others lost part or all of our homes. Now we are just waiting for the government to start selling materials to buy them at the elevated prices at which the state sells them even though the state says they won’t abandon those affected by the storm. We keep hearing about supplies arriving but haven’t seen any yet.

In Julia’s house, part of the living room ceiling collapsed and the entire roof of the 2nd floor collapsed. In my house, the living room and one bedroom room were destroyed. My mother lost the roof to her whole house. Leo’s house was the worst because the walls collapsed so the fire rescue squad had to get them out of the house because they were trapped inside. They have taken refuge with some neighbors for now.

We are seeing more cases of cholera, dengue and respiratory infections. The water is brown and a lot of food has just disappeared and when it does appear the prices are high. The state is selling us some food like rice, grains, sugar, flour, and corn at higher prices than normal because the food supply got wet from all the rain from the hurricane and a lot of food was destroyed.

This has been the worst hurricane we have ever seen in Cuba and we have never had such terrible necessity as we do now. It is much worse than the last time you came to visit in terms of hunger, misery and necessity. Most of the church cupolas have been affected; the city is in runs; you can see trees uprooted; electrical wires and telephone cables are all over the streets.

I send you a big hug and, God willing, I hope to see you soon. May God protect you and all your family. Thank you for your concern and support for us. Maria.”

Debris scattered around the central plaza in Santiago de Cuba in front of the Cathedral

I’m sure many of you are already very generous with your money; and I’m sure some of you have already donated to help victims of Hurricane Sandy in the US or the Caribbean. If you are able to give something, please know that it will go directly to help a group of 5 families who I have known from more than 10 years. If you are unable to give at this time, please know that they appreciate your prayers and compassion.

Thanks for considering this request.

When is Suffering Transformative? Sullivan’s “Living Faith: Everyday Religion and Mothers in Poverty”

According to the women Susan Crawford Sullivan interviewed for Living Faith: Everyday Religion and Mothers in Poverty, what do homelessness, drug addiction, jail time, unplanned pregnancy and domestic abuse all have in common? They are all part of God’s plan to teach poor, young, single mothers that they are sinners in need of repentance. If a narrative of a judgmental God coming down hard on women who suffered due to their lack of personal responsibility strikes you as a problematic narrative, Sullivan and I’m sure most of the readers of this blog would agree with you.

On November 9th, 2012, I convened an author-meets-critics panel at the Society for the Scientific Study of Religion in which we discussed Susan’s book, which has won two awards from major associations in the sociology of religion, and in my comments, I argued that her book is so important to understand when suffering can be transformative among the poor, a topic I also dealt with in my book, Faith Makes Us Live: Surviving and Thriving in the Haitian Diaspora.

I want to congratulate Susan for one of the many accomplishments of her work: she is able to suspend her own judgments—at least temporarily—about what has caused these women’s sufferings to at least give the many poor women in Boston she spoke with a chance to express their own narratives. Don’t worry, if you read the whole book, which I strongly encourage you to do, you will find how Sullivan critiques the cultural narrative of the prosperity Gospel— which says if you do good you will be rich, the converse of which says if you are poor you must be a bad person (sadly, what many Americans think whether they are religious or not). You will also hear her critique the womanist liberation theology that people from oppressed situations are never responsible for what they do; it is the environment, or men, or the church, (but most certainly not the devil), that made them do it.

I want to focus my comments on what is my favorite chapter of the book, Chapter 5, “God has a Plan: Making Meaning.” Chapter 5 is a revised draft of an earlier chapter on narratives of suffering that Sullivan shared with me after we first met. In fact, I first met Susan right after my author meets critics session at the SSSR in 2009 for my book Faith Makes Us Live: Surviving and Thriving in the Haitian Diaspora. At that time, Sullivan was struggling to make sense of these very similar narratives she encountered: women told her things like an unwanted pregnancy ended up being a blessing from God; that going to jail for dealing drugs had taught them how to beg for God’s grace and mercy; that being homeless for a short time was a way God taught them to be strong. Many of them blamed themselves for their circumstances; they felt guilt for their own personal failings that brought them to the brink of survival, living in shelters and eating off food stamps and often unable to do what mattered most to them—be good mothers.

Susan Crawford Sullivan

So Susan and I discussed this view of suffering as redemptive, suffering as sent or allowed by God. Was this view good for these women, as they seemed to think, or was it bad for these women as the sociologists inside of us wanted to say? Susan and I exchanged emails and ideas for a few months, and we both read some of Ken Pargament’s excellent work on adult resilience, which talks about the power of suffering to produce the inner transformations these women said they experienced.

I then assigned Susan’s earlier version of this chapter about suffering as redemptive along with sections of Marie Griffith’s ethnography of women submitting to their husbands—even husbands who are not kind to them—and along with Pargament’s work on resilience and suffering. I wanted to see how my students would react to these women’s narratives.

Let’s listen to one such narrative from an exuberant woman, Latoya, who eloquently describes her self-image as a sinner in need of forgiveness and inner transformation. On p. 152, Susan describes how Latoya said:

“I feel that I need God in my life, you know. Maybe by going to church and praying, and praying more to have Section 8 [government-subsidized vouchers for private housing], maybe I’ll get an apartment. Maybe, you know, God will forgive me for my sins. I just got out of jail and all, some things that I did I am not proud of, and I need to go back to church and ask God for forgiveness. I went to jail for selling drugs, and I am not proud of it… I want to get saved, you know, and just ask God for forgiveness. For hurting other people and my kids… I think if I give myself to God, and I turn my life over to God, that things will get better…. Being saved means take away all of your sins, that I would be clean again… I want to turn my life over to God, I want to change my way of life. I want to be a better person. Because I never want to go back to jail. I never want to hurt anybody anymore… Because my soul would be clean, and I know that God would have forgiven me for all my wrongdoings. And I know I would never do no wrong anymore.” (Living Faith, p. 152)

The vast majority of my students rejected the whole notion that suffering is redemptive. Rather, the vast majority of students in  my sociology of religion class vehemently argued that a good God does not punish people with bad things. “She thinks that if she is homeless she can pray for a subsidized apartment and get it? C’mon!” They thought Susan’s interviewees confirmed Marx’s ideas—people turn to religion to alleviate their pain, which then alienates them from the true cause of their problems—the material poverty that made them so vulnerable to begin with. I think many of us struggle to accept these narratives as they are: isn’t there something wrong with women thinking God allows them to suffer because he wants them to be responsible?

But  when my students had this overwhelmingly negative response to the idea of suffering as redemptive, I pleaded for someone in that class to offer an alternative understanding of these women. I was frustrated because not only are these women poor, on welfare, often separated from their children and maybe recently homeless, but now my students are saying they are delusional in their narratives of personal failings for causing their problems and wrong to expect prayer to be effective in solving their problems. Further, my students thought these women should be chided for being so dumb as to believe their own mistakes got them to where they are. They seemed to be shouting, “Will someone please go really save these women from themselves and their religion!”

Then one quiet voice emerged. A bright African-American woman raised her hand and said gently, “Well, maybe these women believe they are responsible for where they are  because if they didn’t believe they were responsible for their problems, how would they have hope that they could take control of their lives and have a better future? I mean, people who are already beaten down in this world don’t just want to go to a church that is going to tell them they are not in control of their lives. They do want someone to tell them that they can have a better life if they do things they can control, and that they can pray to God for help and he will hear them.”

I asked Susan two questions. First, she did an excellent job of providing both a faithful rendition of how these women understand their own lives along with an often poignant critique of the social and structural circumstances that got them there, and she describes both helpful and harmful effects of religious narratives and religious institutions in these women’s lives. So this raises a question: what is our job as sociologists? To critique what we see? Or to represent people’s narratives as they see it? Or both? (She replied that it is both.)

I asked because lately I’ve been reading Andrew Sayer’s book Why Things Matter to People in which he says that the type of work Susan has done is the best of what sociology can do: a) enter in people’s lives, homes, and understand their narratives, even if don’t agree; b) then, using our sociological toolkit, describe the context, circumstances that contributed to these social problems; and c) offer some possible solutions or better ways.  All of these of these things Susan does in Living Faith.

Too often, sociologists want to offer some possible solutions but we hardly stop to think about people’s own narratives; we so easily discard the narratives of people we interview if they don’t match own narratives. This is what Thomas Kuhn called normal science—we are just confirming what we already think. But this is not what Susan has done. These women’s narratives challenged Susan, and she struggled to understand them, and she struggled with how to write about these women while being faithful to their self-understanding and yet also offering alternative religious narratives and structural solutions.

My second question was more personal. I asked Susan, “How did you respond as a person to these narratives?” I asked because when I did interviews for my book Faith Makes Us Live, I had no idea how to respond to the deep trauma people told me about. I remember a beautiful young woman who I call in my book Stephanie telling me about how in Haiti a group of men had broken into her house, took turns raping her, and burned her car—all for refusing to mobilize her community development group to support a particular presidential candidate.

She had has tears running down her cheeks when she told, “But I forgive them for what they did. They know in their heart that what they did to me is  wrong and they have to ask God to forgive them. But the nuns told me not to hold on to my anger; so I left the country because I wasn’t safe, but I forgive them.”  I said nothing—just like in most of my interviews when trauma came up, I was silent, and so terribly conflicted inside about what to do.

Only one time did I response as a fully human being to someone’s narrative of suffering. It was when a vibrant young leader named Karl asked me one day to drive him to college because his car had broken down. I had previously interviewed Karl—he was trained as a lawyer in Haiti and had worked in politics but finally sought exile after being shot during a campaign. He was in his 30s and had to start all over again—his degrees in law and political science from Haiti were in French and held no weight in the US. I had seen Karl energetically organizing political rallies; I had also seen him mobilizing prayer troops to go to the home of seriously ill people and singing to them praying for healing of cancer.

As we drove in the car, Karl looked at me and said with tears in his eyes, “You know, Margarita, I just don’t think I can do this anymore. I’ve had to give up everything, everything, to start my life over in the US and it is just so hard.  I have no job, I have no degree, every day is such a struggle. I feel like I’m never going to make it!” He looked so sad that I had a very emotional and very spontaneous outburst and I yelled at him while pounding the steering wheel, “No Karl! Not you! You cannot give up hope! I see how the youth look up to you. I see how you lead people to fight for better social and political conditions. I see you leading prayer groups. People follow you! God has a plan for your life, he is letting you go through these tough times but God will see you through this. You must have hope! You must promise me you won’t give up!” He thanked me profusely and promised me to keep fighting and leading his community.

Frankly, I was stunned at my own reaction. I had kept quiet in interviews for so long, but after months of interviews and observations, I had internalized this narrative of hope, of suffering as redemptive, and I basically gave Karl a mini-sermon that I had heard over and over again and initially wanted to reject as useless if not harmful. My sermon still expressed the sociologist in me. I had reacted so strongly precisely because I had come to see how this desperately poor and largely traumatized refugee community of Haitians really, really needed leaders like Karl with the good education, the strong faith and the enduring hope and the leadership skills to lead them out of their misery. The passionate human being in me could not let Karl give up.

So I asked Susan: how did you respond to these terribly sad and often disturbing narratives? Do we as sociologists have an obligation to engage with people’s suffering and their narratives that trouble us? If so, how? My quick answer to that is that yes, we do have obligations to enter into the lives of the people we study, even if their narratives and behaviors trouble us, but that does not mean we have to accept or endorse everything about their narratives in our personal interactions or our writing. Susan agreed, saying that when people spoke of trauma, she practiced empathic listening. At the end of interviews, she often offered to pray for people. She is going to donate part of the proceeds of her book to the shelters that help these women.

If you read this book, you will most certainly see that in many ways society and organized religion has failed these women. But you will hear their own heart-wrenching words about their experiences and failures, their hope in the midst of drug addiction, homeless, jail and abuse. You will come to sympathize and at least partially understand why they so long for an inner transformation, a meaningful relationship with God to provide them some guidance, some hope in otherwise dead-end circumstances.