How I Got Over My Very Public Mistakes

March 27, 2012 By 210 Comments

Last week, I was amazed at all the people who read my posts and left comments. (This post about expecting a call from the President got almost 2,800 comments and was shared 131,000 times on this site alone… And, no, my phone didn’t ring.)

Most of the comments were wonderful and supportive. (I’ve addressed some of the not-so-nice comments here.)  But there’s one constant criticism I didn’t talk about:  some of you insist on calling me a hypocrite. After all, I became a mother before I walked down the aisle – how can I talk about waiting until marriage for sex?

I find it strange that the culture rightfully applauds former drug addicts who warn children of the dangers of drug use. They are happy to listen to former alcoholics talk about how they finally are living a clean life. But when it comes to me talking about waiting until marriage for sex, it’s almost like people want me to slink away in shame… unable to show my face in public again because of my past mistakes.

I want this blog to be a place where we can all be honest, so let me start. I’ve struggled with feelings of guilt and shame. I know (judging from my inbox) many of you have too. A Christian counselor named Ed Welch helpfully writes about what to do after you’ve made a huge mistake:

It feels so right – so spiritual – to live with regrets. It means you feel bad for the wrong things you have done or think you have done, and that sounds like a good thing. If you forget those wrongs, you are acting like they were no big deal.

…
We live with regrets because we think we should. We think it’s the right thing to do—that it is our duty before God. But…
The Kingdom of Heaven is regret-free. The truth is that the triune God liberates us from past regrets. His will is being done. Bank on it. Neither your human limitations nor your sins hinder the good plans of your sovereign Father.
Let’s go one important step further. It is God’s will that you jettison past regrets.

So what does that mean?

Stop.

Stop living under a cloud of guilt, stop wondering what life could have been like had you made better decisions, and stop beating yourself up over that thing you’ve done.

Read the rest of his post here, and get over the regret you’ve been carrying for far too long.

I have.

Leave a comment below to receive weekly updates, including the best of this blog. You may also enjoy:

Welcome to My Blog
Thoughts on Game Change
Dancing with the Stars
Celebrate Life with Me Today
Mr. President, When Should I Expect Your Call?
Responding to the Viral Sensation, Loving my Brother
Also
Thank you to Amy Henry for welcoming and encouraging me in this post!

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  • Michael

    Don’t be hard on yourself. You were thrown into a political situation where a small mistake that is common to so many young people was amplified into something that looked a lot bigger. Just continue to be upfront and truthful and you will grow and learn from your mistakes.

  • Cindy E

    I don’t remember where I read it, but I love this definition of “hypocrisy.”

    “Hypocrisy is NOT failing to practice what you preach. (We’re all sinners who fall short periodically.) Hypocrisy is PRETENDING to have beliefs you don’t actually have.”

    Thank you for your honesty and openness, Bristol. Please be bold for the Truth and keep speaking out!

  • Steve Smith

    It seems to me that in your case, the media type people are going to always use their maGniFying glass on your pass.
    So I believe it would be good that you can do something positive so that the next time that magnifying glass shows up, they will have a hard time seeing your past.
    Everyone makes mistakes but it should not rule their live forever.

  • Steve Smith

    It seems to me that in your case, the media type people are going to always use their maGniFying glass on your past.
    So I believe it would be good that you can do something positive so that the next time that magnifying glass shows up, they will have a hard time seeing your past.
    Everyone makes mistakes but it should not rule their live forever.

  • http://postrepublica.wordpress.com NWBill

    Thanks, Bristol. This was a post I needed to read, and a message I needed to hear. Thanks for reminding us who really controls the universe, and what He wants for us.

    And, no matter what kind of negativity you get here or anywhere else, know that you’ve made friends here. Keep on truckin’, girl!

  • Ruth

    I was raised in a Christian home, and at 17 made the mistake of having sex with my boyfriend that resulted in a pregnancy. That was 27 years ago. I know that God forgave me and I could never regret any of my children they are all precious gifts from God. I will say to you it is a difficult road you take because though as I said it was 27 years ago, people still bring it up, as if i personally did something to them. You have been in my thoughts and prayers and close to my heart since I first saw you standing with your family. Tale care and I love the blog.
    Ruth

  • Pingback: Goodbye, Martina – You Were Great! | Bristol Palin

  • Barbara Landi

    For crying out loud, your “terrible mistake” is probably the most commonly committed terrible mistake there ever was. At least something wonderful came out of it, your beautiful little boy. You are a good young woman and you have your whole life ahead to do good & positive things…which you are already doing. Your critics aren’t worth a thought, clearly they have their own problems.

    • June Trieb

      Exactly what I thought. The vast majority of people, Christians and non-Christians, are engaging in some form of premarital sex. Horrors if someone gets pregnant, and is “caught” doing what so many are doing. Good for you, Bristol, for admitting that it is not the right way, even though you messed up. Praise God that you chose life for your little boy. How much easier it would have been for you to deny your faith and beliefs, and to choose the path of least resistance–like the majority of folks out there. You have chosen the more challenging path, but by far, the best path!

  • Tom Lehner

    Bristol,
    for starters, I love your new post as follow up for the “Pres. to Call me” blog.”. I just try to give you a little my 2 cents worth of thought based on my own experience.

    You are an amazing wonderful woman, true lovable and you are right with every word you say, people listen to former alkies, or drugies etcetera. Here is the sad thing in your case:

    Those people who attack you actually dont attack YOU – they attack your mom over you, using you as tool, and coletaral damage. I know this is sick, but this is how the left works.

    I am truly sorry you have to go through all this and I, from the bottom of my heart, wish I could protect you, but nobody really can. All I can say is this: YOU ARE NOT ALONE – you have so many supporters like me who stand tall shoulder on shoulder with you adn I pray you go through this

    Blessings young Lady

    ~~Tom~~

  • Ed

    The only way go get away from liberal criticism is to become one of them. Had you been a liberal then the media would think it was wonderful to have a child without the “shackles” of marriage. However, we know you are way smarter than any liberal critic. You and your family are people we should be, and are, proud of. The Palin family ranks among my highest in my list of Great average American families. God Bless you and your family! When the liberal media is kicking you around you know you are doing something good.

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