On Second Thought: Episode 4

June 30, 2012 By 314 Comments

Trust me, it’s crazy to see your life on television. That’s why every week, I’m going to do a blog posts called “On Second Thought.” These posts are where I will go over the episodes of my Lifetime show as I process the issues presented now that I’ve seen them aired.  I hope you’ll join me for these weekly posts – which will undoubtedly be part-confession, part-explanation, and part-celebration of my life right now!

Original Airdate: June 26, 2012

Fatherhood.

Just the word causes a little pang in my heart.

When I was skating with Tripp at the hockey rink in Episode 4, I said, “All men are dogs.”  On second thought, I shouldn’t have said that.  It’s not true in life generally and it’s not even true in my life specifically.  I have my dad, who’s one of the best people on the planet.  He can win the Iron Dog, braid Piper’s hair, catch salmon, teach me a life lesson, and make sure our truck engines don’t freeze overnight in the winter months.  Then, there’s Track, my brother who’s tormented his little sisters my entire life… and is still tormenting me as I wait for him to return from Afghanistan!  Of course, I also have my grandfathers who have held together our family with their character and strength.

I guess as I stood there trying to skate with Tripp, I was simply frustrated.  I never thought I’d be the one teaching Tripp to skate.  I always envisioned having a husband helping our son strap on the skates and glide over the ice.

And so, there’s a hole.  In my family.  In Tripp’s life.  In my heart.

Talking to Andy while we were stacking firewood was really poignant.  “I’ve seen my dad twice.  Once at a golf course and once after I turned 18,” he said.  “I’m fine.  I’m the person I am today, because my mom taught me everything.  My dad is just a name on a birth certificate to me.”

Of course, I think Andy’s great and his mom obviously did a great job.  However, I know it’s not God’s perfect plan for boys to be raised without dads… especially when the father lives down the street.  That’s why I said, in a previous episode, that I’d failed as a mom.  That’s why it hurts my heart so much to be in this situation.

As we drove to Anchorage, I was so nervous.  I didn’t want Tripp to be let down if Levi didn’t show.  Of course, if you saw the show you know Levi didn’t manage to make it.  Instead, I got an angry phone call from his girlfriend.

I never thought my life would be this way.  However, I’m thankful for all of the blessings that we have.  I’m thankful for all the wonderful men in my family and in my life.  Especially Tripp, who was really thankful I let him eat that icing right out of the can when we were baking.

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  • Jason

    Oh, so because Bristol makes WAY more money than Levi, that means that Levi is exempt from responsibility? This is HIS child, too, and he is still HIS responsibility, too. If he isn’t helping out with his child, shame on him. And if he’s using Bristol’s fame and wealth as an excuse to NOT help out, shame on him even more.

  • Tim

    Levi has never done anything for Bristol and his son Tripp.
    He went on shows and trashed Bristol and the Palin family many times and telling lies about them.
    He made more than $1 million and squandered it on guns, boats and four-wheelers but not on his son Tripp.

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2148850/Levi-Johnston-penniless-living-mother-squandering-1million-hes-guns-boats.html

  • charli chad

    I love you Bristol! Ignore the negativity. In time, you will learn and grow stronger, as have many other moms. Everything takes time. I appreciate that you actually take time to reflect back on your actions and learn how to better yourself from them, unlike 75% of our generation. The positivity is always bigger then the negativity. The negative ones just never know when to shut-up and feel they have to scream the loudest cause no one pays attention to them. Keep your head up, you’re doing awesome and right for you and Tripp :) And Gino loves you- even if he seems unfair at times, God gave him common sense and simplicity. Don’t lose him.

    • Emma Lora

      good post charlie chad

      • Emma Lora

        This blog is interesting because we see basically 2 different kinds of people. Most come here to support and show appreciation for Bristol and her family. We show up at Bristol’s doorstep (blog) to offer gifts (positive support). We think of her as a neighbor. No nieghbor is perfect but we are here to support. the best we can. Dare I say.. a neighborhood with conservative convictions enjoying positiive, happy tea parties.

        The other group comes from another neighborhood (liberal). They appear on this doorstep and begin to criticize, evaluate, whine about what Bristol and her neighbors are saying among themselves. Feeling superior they want to impose their snarky viewpoint instead of joining their own neighbors. Bristol’s. neighbors oppose their viewpoints incouraging them to go back home. The “intruders” from the other neighborhood are offended and whine louder and louder because they are not validated in this neighborhood.

        This conservative neighborhood stands together on its own turf. The liberal gang not on their turf sound defensive, angry, bitter. They are known to have temper tantrums, but since they are smaller in numbers, some wearing masks pretending to be someone else, they attempt to appear to be more knowledgeable, more concerned etc while their neighborhood is filled with angry protestors, nasty tv personalities, caustic leaders… just their kind of people. So why don’t they go home??

        • John Jay

          I think it’s interesting that you somehow feel it necessary to defend this piece of turf like it belongs to you. Bristol herself is the only person I can see caring as much about what gets posted here, so I can only assume you are either Bristol, sock-puppeting on your own blog, or a dangerously obssessed fan of the Palins who should be monitored very carefully, because inevitably overly obssessed fans always have to get REAL close to the object of their obssession.

          • Emma Lora

            LOL Oh John Jay.. The turf is the conservative group of people. The other turf (I think you belong to) is the Liberals. Did you really have trouble with that analogy?? Neighborhood analogy also get you? Try again. I know you can get it. Whole post was full of analogies. If too much for you… you can always go home… oh yea another analogy… ummm.. don’t know how to help you.

          • Jesus

            Emma I’m not liking your tone.

    • http://www.fathersandfamilies.org/ Roberta Stark-Monahan

      charli chad, I was just wondering how you know that Gino loves Bristol? Because what we’ve seen during Bristol’s reality show of Gino, is very limited. Do you know Gino personally? Gino doesn’t impress me at all. While he “appears” to be a sweet guy, it seems he pressures Bristol to commit to him and to reassure him that she loves him. I’m glad Bristol told Gino that she didn’t want him to come to Anchorage with her when she thought Levi would be there to see his son. Gino had no place being there. The situation with Levi parenting his son is an issue between Bristol and Levi or any counselor they may be using to guide them through this difficult time as young parents cast in the public eye for all to see and judge. In my opinion, Gino doesn’t come across as the sharpest tool in the shed, while he may be a good friend to Bristol, I think she can do much better than this.
      I agree with you for applauding Bristol for publicly reflecting back on each of her past episodes. This shows that she truly wants to be a better person who grows and learns from her experiences. I hope she will read the positive responses here and will consider some of the advice people have taken the time to give her. Most importantly what we all should consider, is how our Father in Heaven would want any of us to conduct ourselves.

      • Emma Lora

        roberta… I am curious… How many children have you raised as a single mom? Or even as a married mom? What kind of experience do you have with young children?

    • tom stewart

      “The positivity is always bigger then the negativity.The negative ones just never know when to shut-up and feel they have to scream the loudest cause no one pays attention to them.” Did you watch? Seems like all she did was complain and whine – Levi won’t come and visit, so I trash him; Willow won’t babysit, so I guilt trip her into leaving her friends and coming back to take care of my baby. I don’t see any of the qualities you describe.

  • http://physicsgeek.mu.nu physics geek

    When I was skating with Tripp at the hockey rink in Episode 4, I said, “All men are dogs.” ,b> On second thought, I shouldn’t have said that.

    No, you shouldn’t have. I’m glad that you said so. The fact that there are a number of men who are disgrace to our sex should not tar the rest of us. I know far too many men who have essentially given up on women because “they’re all ****”. Well, you get the idea.

    Your dad appears to be a strong, good man, a true role model for both you and your brothers and sisters. He appears devoted to your mother and your family. Keep working on it and one day you’ll meet someone who possesses those qualities as well. Do NOT let yourself get too frustrated by the fact that Tripp’s father didn’t turn out to be that person. There are plenty of good men out in the world. However, a lot of them have gone into hiding due to the incessant attacks such as “all men stink”. Do not fall into that trap. Nothing turns a guy off more than a woman who knows that he will ultimately disappoint her.

  • Michelle

    BRISTOL, YOUR SUPPORTERS ARE RIGHT HERE BEHIND YOU SWEETIE.!!! YOU’RE A GREAT MOM AND A BEAUTIFUL SOUL..!!

    YOU MAKE ME PROUD TO LIVE IN WASILLA ALASKA!!! <3

  • Gary Ernsthausen

    Levi must be a Democrat, he went thru a million $ fast and forgot Tripp.

  • http://www.parentalrights.org/ Roberta Stark-Monahan

    Emma Lora, Correction: the things I want are for Tripp, because he has the right to a relationship with both his parents, and no child wants to hear someone bad-mouth their parent! I never said anything about two wrongs making a right! I said that Bristol needs to own responsibility for Tripp’s disappointment in Levi not showing up. It appears that Bristol is twisting things. She wants to appear on her show as a mother who is promoting a relationship between her child and his father, yet it has been reported that Levi has adamantly declined to be on Bristol’s reality show. So she sets things up to make Levi out to be the bad guy who hurt his son, when she’s the one who set her son up to be disappointed and painted Levis as the one who caused the disappointment. That’s really unfair for anyone to do that to somebody regardless. This has nothing to do with me liking or supporting Levi. My entire argument is about children’s rights…..Tripp’s right to both his parents, his right to not be brainwashed to dislike his father and taught that his dad a piece of crap. While he’s only a toddler, he has a right for his father to be referred to as his Dad and not by his first name. Everyone should start referring to Tripp’s mom as Bristol to him, instead of momma. You know the old saying, “What’s good for the goose, is good for the gander”. Why should there be double standards? Levi’s book, his appearance on Dr. Phil, his posing in Playboy are all non-issues when it comes to his constitutional right to parent his son. We do not walk in either Bristol or Levi’s shoes. Not knowing either of them personally, we’re only allowed a little peek into their lives and that’s only what the media reports and what Bristol has shown us through her reality show.

    • Tim

      Levi has never done anything for Bristol and his son Tripp.
      He went on shows and trashed Bristol and the Palin family many times and telling lies about the Palin family.
      He made more than $1 million and squandered it on guns, boats and four-wheelers but not on his son Tripp!

      http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2148850/Levi-Johnston-penniless-living-mother-squandering-1million-hes-guns-boats.html

    • Emma Lors

      Your right R. the show gives us a peek. The little peek gives fuel to those that want to offer their criticism as if they know so much. Thankfully she has a large family and friends that can support her with so much more knowledge of what is really going on. The know-it-alls that want to feel superior are just a waste of time. I persoally am glad to be supportive of her knowing that she is surronded with wisdom and can just ignore the negative self righteous hot air on this blog.

    • Emma Lora

      Roberta, do you have a Dr. in front of your name in real life? You come across as if you are a professional in the field of child care. My daughter has a degree in pschology and spent yrs in the child care field. Mostly with abandoned children. She never talked about a single mother who referred to the father by his first name, or showed frustration in front of a of a child about an out- of- the- picture dad, but had to deal with moms or dads who neglected or abandoned their children. To deal with calling a father by his first name or wanting to have child support or visitation would have been so welcomed by comparison to problems of neglect or abandonment. You have constantly told us your “profound” concern for Trigg. You even give the impression your concern is greater than anyone else. So surely you have some degree in something. If we should refer you to Dr. Roberta, please let us know.

  • http://www.parentalrights.org/ Roberta Stark-Monahan

    Brenda, what’s your missing here is people believe they can live “double standards”. You make an excellent point……While it was completely inappropriate, disrespectful and slanderous for that guy in the bar to holler disparaging remarks about Bristol’s mom, it is no different than Bristol making disparaging remarks about Levi in the presence of their son. In fact I think it’s worse, because I assume Tripp was created by two people who once cared about and loved each other. Bristol is a role model for her son and I believe it is wrong for her to cut Tripp’s father down in his presence.

    • http://yaho0 millie

      roberta,
      I get the opinion from your post that no one is as bad as Bristol. And that Bristol is the problem
      as to why Levi is not in his son’s life. Now if you do believe this, then I say that you are one of
      those who will only pick and choose what YOU want to believe and not interested searching for
      the true facts. Yes, there are always two sides in any situation, but you only want to see one side
      and that is Levi’s side and that he is the only one that has been wronged in the story. You can’t
      seem to bring yourself to look at the possibility that Bristol is maybe not the one who is keeping
      Levi from seeing his son, which I think was the reasoning that she did this last episode of trying to
      get Levi to meet with his son, becausing of Levi accusing that Bristol is the one keeping him from
      seeing his son. Also you are ignoring the fact that Levi hasn’t paid but very little of Tripp’s child
      support, instead we hear that he has spent his money on truck, boats, cars and hunting equipment.
      Now the way I see it if it is true that he had over a million dallars earned, IF HE CARES ABOUT
      HIS SON wouldn’t you think that he would have paid child support. I can’t get into Levi’s head
      and be sure that he doesn’t care, but actions speak lauder than words.
      Now you have the right to your opinion, but you don’t have the right judge and not consider all
      of the facts.
      Bristol has many times prior to her reality show disputted the accusations that Levi and Sunni have
      accused her of, her keeping Levi from seeing his son, and Bristol has come up with the number of time
      that he has seen his son and it unfortunately very few.

      Now if Levi happens to be reading this here is a little tibit for you for what it might be worth, REAL
      MEN will take care of their own children. I will further say if you don’t have it in you then Tripp
      would be better off without you, maybe until you grow and mature, which hopefully you will want
      to be very much part of Tripps life.

  • John Jay

    test : )

  • Senior Citizen

    Her child is GORGEOUS. She looks better after all the plastic surgery. But none of it hides the very ugly vengeful heart within.

    Does anyone watch the show? Is it still on the air?

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