Men Haunted by Regret over Abortion: the Trauma Cuts More Than One Way

Men Haunted by Regret over Abortion: the Trauma Cuts More Than One Way June 22, 2017

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The Daily Mail has a brave piece.  It begins:

This Father’s Day, Tony Perry was the proud recipient of two lovingly homemade cards.

Inside one, depicting hands in the shape of a heart, his dinosaur-obsessed four-year-old son had painstakingly scrawled: ‘I love my dad because he takes me to the museum.’

Meanwhile, his two-year-old daughter produced a card bearing her handprints, with the message: ‘You are the best dad hands down.’

As a doting father, Tony will always treasure these mementoes from his young children. At the back of his mind, however, is a nagging thought that continues to ache like an old wound.

He could — should — have received three cards on Sunday, one from a much older child, on the cusp of entering his or her teenage years. For when he was in his 20s, Tony’s then-girlfriend had an abortion.

While he respected her decision, it was not the outcome he’d hoped for. It’s an event he still lives with today.

‘It left deep scars,’ he admits. ‘There’s always a shadow in the background.

‘The other way to put it is that it’s like wearing a backpack — most days, you’re simply aware it’s there, but on others, it feels like an extra weight pulling you down.’

Much time and ink is spent talking about abortion from the woman’s perspective, but there’s also regret, shame, and trauma for the would-be father. Of course, let’s not forget the smallest and most innocent victim — the child — but it seems that almost all talk of the abortion decision revolves around the woman.  That should stop.

While many are kept in the dark, it’s thought around half of women actually have a long-term partner at the time of termination.

Legally, these men have no say in the decision and their feelings are rarely acknowledged.

Yet it seems that many, like Tony, are left yearning for what might have been.

Ridiculous. Abortion is selfish and brutal for everyone involved.
Image Credit: Pexels


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