Great post on burnout at Conversion Diary.
Read it, then go get some sleep.
Burnout
September 28, 2009 By
The Simplicity of Early Childhood Education
September 25, 2009 By
The most wonderful and most fearful fact of early childhood development is one we’re all familiar with: the fastest brain growth occurs between birth and age three, and children are capable of learning the most and the most capable of learning between birth and age five. Something like that, right?
Every pop early childhood education book I’ve read has exploited that fact as its selling point and cornerstone. Do our “x, y and z” plan (and buy our CDs, DVDs, flashcards, workbooks, and equipment) to be sure you’re maximizing your child’s most acute learning years.
It’s often difficult to know what we’re supposed to be doing “educationally” in these preschool years. It takes remarkably little time to teach a four year old basic phonics and beginning math. What else do we do with all their brain power? Get them reading chapter books alone and doing pre-algebra? THAT is a lot of work to teach to a four year old, especially for a not-particularly-skilled teacher like me.
Frankly, I’ve been left desperately afraid that I’m stifling my children’s curiosity and squandering their brain power if I don’t pump them full of information, skills and experiences. The window closes with each passing day. How exhausting for everyone.
Reflecting on this, I’ve started to wonder whether God wired the youngest children with the greatest learning capacity for an entirely different reason, mostly unrelated to academic learning. Ages newborn through five are naturally the years they’re closest to home and under the full-time care of parents, not yet in a formal academic environment. The brain is growing and working hardest in the first five years as the child learns the basics of interacting with his physical environment… but, more importantly, as the child, prior to leaving “the nest” for larger parts of the day, rapidly absorbs and begins taking ownership of family values, family spiritual practices, and all the loves, virtues and priorities modeled by his parents. Trying to take this to heart as my children approach school age has given me great peace.
I think that the most worthy and only necessary “educational” goal in these first five years is to instill in my children that they are children of God, that He loves them with divine love and only He can satisfy their souls’ longings. Accompanying this naturally is consistent training in virtue in their relationships, decisions, and behaviors. These five years are not a laboratory for teaching children the most things; rather, they are a window of opportunity to train children in the most important things. When I listen to their questions, there are a hundred daily chances to talk about the Christian life, about God’s creation, God’s great plan for us, loving our neighbors. Family life and community life provide ample opportunities for them to practice virtue in little ways, with some parental guidance. Their amazing brains, unquenchable curiosity, and clean souls are fertile ground for Jesus’ love to enter and imprint their hearts permanently.
What a gift, too, to spend our days pointing the souls of children to Jesus, without fanfare and as we go about daily life. By their inquisitiveness and purity, my children keep the presence of God in our home and in my heart, if I follow their lead.
To Sigg Fans…
September 24, 2009 By
We have been Sigg fans for awhile. My kids carry around their bottles like security blankets and we don’t leave home without them (see wagon cupholders). If they are hurt or sad they sob, “I want my water bottle.” When Jack-Jack left his when out with his Grandma, we paid to have another yellow one shipped from Canada, the only one left in North America. Which is why I was so sad to see that the liners contain BPA, precisely what we were aiming to avoid. There is a voluntary exchange program until the end of October. For us returning their water bottles will be like taking away a cherished blankie or teddy bear. I’m not sure if it’s better for them to ingest chemicals or to have their hearts broken!
teachable moment
September 24, 2009 By
I used to tell people that I am a great mom for 12 hours a day — I can work non stop from 7 am to 7 pm. If my day with the kids starts before that or ends after, however, it gets dicey.
Well, bedtime has floated to 8 o’clock or later over the summer, and I find that I am at my worst just when, in some ways, my kids need me most. Today was a particularly rough day for me, short on sleep and long on sugar, an entire plate of food and glass of milk were dropped on the floor during dinner, but still I managed, by grace and effort, to keep my cool until bathtime.
Then came the big test:
My oldest walked into the room where I had three little boys in the bath. “Mom, the light bulb in my bathroom broke.”
Me, testy: “What do you mean, it broke?”
“Uh…I was spraying it with my water bottle and it exploded.”
Deep breath, quick call to the Holy Spirit.
“That was a poor choice, buddy, please go clear up the dinner table while I get these guys into bed, and then I will come in and talk to you.”
This was amazing — I bought myself time to regain some composure. He went off to do something that would help me, but also time to think about what Mom might say or do and how he felt about it.
When I came out, the first thing he said was “is there anything else I can do to help?” I asked him to sit down in Dad’s big chair. He looked terrified.
In a totally calm voice, sitting right at his eye level, I said “I think you know that it is really dangerous to play with water and electricity, or to touch light bulbs at all. I don’t know if the fixture is going to be damaged as well. I suspect you knew that this was a bad idea when you were doing it, and now you see that there are consequences to your actions. You made a good choice, though, to come and tell me right away, and to tell the truth about how it happened. I am going to clean up the glass now, and then you can take your shower. I don’t feel safe replacing the light bulb in a wet fixture. Dad will take a look at it over the weekend. Until then, your bathroom will be a bit dark.”
After I had cleaned up the glass I sat with him while he, with my prompting, cleaned up his entire dressing area and bathroom, which had gotten a bit out of control over the last few days.
Once he was all cozy in his pajamas, he came to me and quietly said “Mom, thanks for helping me sort out my stuff, and for not being mad about the light bulb.”
I gave him a big hug and I said “P, you are going to make some mistakes in your life, but I want you to know that you can always tell me the truth. I will try hard to control my temper and to help you sort things out.”
This was a significant victory for both of us.
P is about to be 8, and I see that we are coming in to a different phase of our parenting. Slowly, he will have more freedom in order to learn self control. He will be tempted. I remember in those pre-teen years how tempting it was to “experiment” by melting crayons on the radiator, falling out of my bunk bed, all kinds of stupid stuff. The truth is, they are testing themselves, they are testing boundaries, and they are testing us. If I come to Mom with a problem, will she explode? I want to be strict with my kids, and there will be consequences for not doing your work or chores, for lying, for sneaking around, but I want them to know that I am here with love if they want to talk something out, or if they arrive at a place where a really bad choice has been made and they need help getting out of danger. I want them to learn these lessons before the teen years, when the natural consequences get too big, too fast.
This is a balancing act, and temperament comes into play as well, I am quick to anger, and this particular child takes things really hard, so I have to be very careful with him. In the next few years, I think we’ll both have a lot to learn.
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