I was talking with Kellie yesterday about a family’s near-miss with drowning. It involved a 2.5-year-old at a lake and thanks to the heroism of an 11-year-old girl, the baby is still with us. Praise God. But immediately my mama mind goes to forbidden, sinful places–what about the times where things don’t work out? What about the near-misses and the misses to come in my future? What about my family? My brain takes over and my body shuts down while I manage different scenarios and imagine scenes playing out, both good and bad. The fear can be crippling.
I’m a worry wart, if you haven’t already surmised. I am blessed with worrying genes– it runs in the family. We are balls of nerves, depending on the circumstance, and champions of “what-if” scenarios. Now as a mom-of-five with surging postpartum hormones, I’m finding the fear rises to the point of keeping us inside, away from pools, behind locked and alarm-sealed doors, to prevent whatever scenario possible from playing out. I am like a mama bear with my cubs, hackles rising as I attempt to protect them from any harm the world can cause them. This is definitely not the answer, but for now, it’s how we’re managing.
This is a season for our family. We don’t get out much and I’m at peace with that. We meander over to our local YMCA for kids’ activities, but I park along the sidewalk so we don’t have to navigate parking lots. We manage our needs with wise choices and lots of pre-planning. We make sure to have extra supervisors and hands when the outing is beyond my ability to manage. While I have so many young ones, these measures help my brain handle all of the responsibility.
“…I will never leave you and I will never abandon you… The Lord is my helper, and I will not be afraid. What can man do to me?” Hebrews 13:5-6
“So do not worry about tomorrow; it will have enough worries of its own. There is no need to add to the troubles each day brings.” Matthew 6:34
My second son, T, has also been “blessed” with this tendency to worry. He is aware of dangers most happy-go-lucky five-year-olds never notice. Last night he approached me, asking, “Mom, why does God allow the evil things in this world?” Oh, my precious son. We talked a little about Adam and Eve and sin entering the world and how God is there for us through the dark times. During our conversation, my mind fixed on a few verses to offer him solace. The Hebrews and Matthew 6 passages flew out of my mouth along with this one from Proverbs 3:
“Trust in the LORD with all your heart, and do not rely on your own insight. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths.”
How wonderful that I can offer my son such hope in the Lord. We are so lucky to have a Savior.
God will provide. He will protect. And He will help me endure all there is in my future. Thanks be to Him.