A few years ago Harmon Leon did an experiment in which he called four dog psychics to ask them to analyze his dog over the phone—only Leon didn’t actually have a dog. Below is a transcript of the 1st conversation, all four are hilarious and worth reading in full:
I decide to test pet psychic veracity by phoning several. Since I don’t have a pet, I pose as my own dog, who happens to go by my name. Any true pet psychic should pick up on this right away. If not, well — I hate to say it — I’ll have to conclude that this is a pure, 100 percent, fuck-me-sideways scam.Pet Psychic No. 1
Hoping to get funny responses, I tell the pet psychic that I think my dog, Harmon, has a really good sense of humor, and that he’s the life of the party.
Pet Psychic 1:I was talking to Harmon this morning. He’s very open to talking, by the way.
PP1:I’m in touch with him, simultaneously, when we’re talking. If something else comes up, just ask me, ’cause I can get the answer from him right away.
I:Around what time were you channeling into him? He was making this weird yelping.
PP1:It was probably around 9 or 10 — around there, yeah.
I:[holding receiver away from mouth and screaming] HARMON, GET OFF THE COUCH!
PP1:And, by the way, he is just a love. He’s like this big giant teddy bear. He doesn’t see himself as big as he is, and he sees himself as light, if that makes any sense to you.
I:Yes, it does … GODDAMN IT, HARMON, GET OFF THE GODDAMN COUCH NOW!
PP1:And he is just the most social animal! I get the feeling — or I know– that Harmon is very aware of energy. He loves other beings. Do your friends hang out with him a lot?
I:No! And other dogs don’t seem to get along with him. Can you hold on? HARMON, QUIT DRINKING OUT OF THE TOILET! Sorry about that — what were you saying?
PP1:You know what his thing is? He doesn’t like rude dogs. He is very proper. Almost like, I guess, a butler. He likes things to be just so, while at the same time he’s very lighthearted.
I:GODDAMN IT, HARMON –YOU’RE SUPPOSED TO DO THAT OUTSIDE! I’M NOT GOING TO CLEAN THAT UP! [Sound of slipper hitting the couch.]