Dog Psychics?

A few years ago Harmon Leon did an experiment in which he called four dog psychics to ask them to analyze his dog over the phone—only Leon didn’t actually have a dog.  Below is a transcript of the 1st conversation, all four are hilarious and worth reading in full:

I decide to test pet psychic veracity by phoning several. Since I don’t have a pet, I pose as my own dog, who happens to go by my name. Any true pet psychic should pick up on this right away. If not, well — I hate to say it — I’ll have to conclude that this is a pure, 100 percent, fuck-me-sideways scam.

Pet Psychic No. 1

Hoping to get funny responses, I tell the pet psychic that I think my dog, Harmon, has a really good sense of humor, and that he’s the life of the party.

Pet Psychic 1:I was talking to Harmon this morning. He’s very open to talking, by the way.

Infiltrator:Uh-huh.

PP1:I’m in touch with him, simultaneously, when we’re talking. If something else comes up, just ask me, ’cause I can get the answer from him right away.

I:Around what time were you channeling into him? He was making this weird yelping.

PP1:It was probably around 9 or 10 — around there, yeah.

I:[holding receiver away from mouth and screaming] HARMON, GET OFF THE COUCH!

PP1:And, by the way, he is just a love. He’s like this big giant teddy bear. He doesn’t see himself as big as he is, and he sees himself as light, if that makes any sense to you.

I:Yes, it does … GODDAMN IT, HARMON, GET OFF THE GODDAMN COUCH NOW!

PP1:And he is just the most social animal! I get the feeling — or I know– that Harmon is very aware of energy. He loves other beings. Do your friends hang out with him a lot?

I:No! And other dogs don’t seem to get along with him. Can you hold on? HARMON, QUIT DRINKING OUT OF THE TOILET! Sorry about that — what were you saying?

PP1:You know what his thing is? He doesn’t like rude dogs. He is very proper. Almost like, I guess, a butler. He likes things to be just so, while at the same time he’s very lighthearted.

I:GODDAMN IT, HARMON –YOU’RE SUPPOSED TO DO THAT OUTSIDE! I’M NOT GOING TO CLEAN THAT UP! [Sound of slipper hitting the couch.]

About Daniel Fincke

Dr. Daniel Fincke  has his PhD in philosophy from Fordham University and spent 11 years teaching in college classrooms. He wrote his dissertation on Ethics and the philosophy of Friedrich Nietzsche. On Camels With Hammers, the careful philosophy blog he writes for a popular audience, Dan argues for atheism and develops a humanistic ethical theory he calls “Empowerment Ethics”. Dan also teaches affordable, non-matriculated, video-conferencing philosophy classes on ethics, Nietzsche, historical philosophy, and philosophy for atheists that anyone around the world can sign up for. (You can learn more about Dan’s online classes here.) Dan is an APPA  (American Philosophical Practitioners Association) certified philosophical counselor who offers philosophical advice services to help people work through the philosophical aspects of their practical problems or to work out their views on philosophical issues. (You can read examples of Dan’s advice here.) Through his blogging, his online teaching, and his philosophical advice services each, Dan specializes in helping people who have recently left a religious tradition work out their constructive answers to questions of ethics, metaphysics, the meaning of life, etc. as part of their process of radical worldview change.


CLOSE | X

HIDE | X