"The Virgin Daughters": A Documentary on Purity Balls

 

Emotionally and mentally warping. Domineering. Brainwashing. Unbelievably creepy. Immoral.

Click through video for the final three parts of the documentary, they are not just redundant of the material in the first part.

via Musical Atheist commenting at Butterflies and Wheels. Ophelia also points us to more pictures and commentary on Purity Balls from Libby Anne.

Your Thoughts?

About Daniel Fincke

Dr. Daniel Fincke  has his PhD in philosophy from Fordham University and spent 11 years teaching in college classrooms. He wrote his dissertation on Ethics and the philosophy of Friedrich Nietzsche. On Camels With Hammers, the careful philosophy blog he writes for a popular audience, Dan argues for atheism and develops a humanistic ethical theory he calls “Empowerment Ethics”. Dan also teaches affordable, non-matriculated, video-conferencing philosophy classes on ethics, Nietzsche, historical philosophy, and philosophy for atheists that anyone around the world can sign up for. (You can learn more about Dan’s online classes here.) Dan is an APPA  (American Philosophical Practitioners Association) certified philosophical counselor who offers philosophical advice services to help people work through the philosophical aspects of their practical problems or to work out their views on philosophical issues. (You can read examples of Dan’s advice here.) Through his blogging, his online teaching, and his philosophical advice services each, Dan specializes in helping people who have recently left a religious tradition work out their constructive answers to questions of ethics, metaphysics, the meaning of life, etc. as part of their process of radical worldview change.

  • Captain Mike

    I don’t have any thoughts regarding purity balls. Just itchy fists.

    Seriously, though, there’s so much wrong there that I don’t even know where to begin.

  • Glodson

    As a father, a new father with a very young daughter, this has creeped me out to no end. I want my little girl to live a good and happy life. Not to be overly crass, but fuck “purity.” I just want her to enjoy life, and be a strong young woman. If she elects to wait until marriage before having sex, well, that’s fine.

    And if she doesn’t, that’s just as fine. I will do my best to help her along the way, but I would never, ever take her to a purity ball. I don’t want her looking at sex like it is dirty, or that she would be impure for having sex before marriage.

    On a side note: why aren’t there purity balls for young men and their mothers? Okay, I know why, but still a bit of consistency would be nice.

    • http://freethoughtblogs.com/camelswithhammers Camels With Hammers

      On a side note: why aren’t there purity balls for young men and their mothers? Okay, I know why, but still a bit of consistency would be nice.

      Actually, that’s a fantastic question, Glodson, and I’m embarrassed it didn’t cross my mind. When I was an evangelical Christian, maintaining my own “purity” was equally important as being with a “pure” woman and I would get irritated when people accused me of wanting to marry a virgin out of a double standard. But the absence of mother son balls does throw into light yet another dimension of the patriarchy undergirding this entire ethic (even if some, like me, never experienced it or thought of it in outwardly patriarchal terms).

    • Glodson

      I guess I’m more prone to think of these things now because I am a father to a daughter. I see the double standard much more clearly, and I really don’t like it. Hell, we all know that a woman who sleeps around is seen in a much different light than a man who does the same thing. So, even in the purity movement, a higher priority is placed on a woman’s virginity than a man’s.

      I mean, I know that young men still get the same pressure to make these absurd pledges. But then when they fail to uphold them, young men are more easily excused because they were being a strong male, whereas the woman gets the slut label. Besides, the other reason those pledges are crap is because you got that social pressure to join even when you are considering that pledge at the earliest opportunity. I know I was looking forward to making my own virginity pledge into a lie as soon as I could master talking to girls.

  • http://giliellthinkingaloud.blogspot.com/ Giliell, connaiseuse des choses bonnes

    Completely fucked up and creepy.
    Not only they are placing a stupid value on “purity” and “virginity”, it’s also that those girls grow up with expectations and ideas about marriage and relationships that are guaranteed to make them unhappy.
    I mean I can totally understand why they don’t want to get involved in that teenage dating-drama, I found that incredibly shallow as a teen, too, but their ideas about being a princess and prince charming coming along and asking theis daddy-king for approval are sure to get disappointed.
    me? Oh, I guess I could “pass” for a good girl. I only kissed three men (shocking!) and only ever had sex with one (shock, grasp) and I even married him. And I’m actually planning things to stay like this for the rest of my life.
    But what gave those things, our first kiss, the first “I love you”, the first sex meaning was that this was something we had chosen in the right moment for both of us, not because we had a list when it had to happen.

  • Gnumann

    On a side note: why aren’t there purity balls for young men and their mothers? Okay, I know why, but still a bit of consistency would be nice.

    The good old honour/shame code is very consistent: Men have honour, and have to guard it from the shame that the women will bring if they are not controlled (While of course gaining honour and bringing shame to others by conquering their women).

    The funny thing is Christians berating those evil Moslems for their views on honour and shame while they are living by the same creed.

  • Tisha Irwin

    Aside from the fact that the phrase “purity balls” makes me think of some kind of perverse chastity device, I’d like to know how many of these damaged women this 11 year old knows? Man, that is some serious brainwashing.

    And I don’t have kids, but if I did I would say it is absolutely not alright to get married without having sex. That’s like getting married without knowing the other person’s religious leanings.

    Actually it’s waaaaaaaaaay more important than that. How can you possibly know if someone is the right person for you if you haven’t knocked boots? Unless you’re planning to have a sexless marriage, in which case I guess it’s okay.

    I wish the christians would make up their minds about whether sex is awful and dirty and guaranteed to give you diseases or whether it’s so wonderful and sacred and mystical that it can’t be done unless the state has given you its permission.

  • http://giliellthinkingaloud.blogspot.com/ Giliell, connaiseuse des choses bonnes

    I wish the christians would make up their minds about whether sex is awful and dirty and guaranteed to give you diseases or whether it’s so wonderful and sacred and mystical that it can’t be done unless the state has given you its permission.

    But they have: It’s the latter when Jesus is in bed with you and the former when he isn’t.
    I once attended a catholic wedding and was truely amazed that they were supposed to have a threesome.
    Oh, and I was evry sure that they’d been doing th two-headed beast before that and that they were using contraception before and afterwards.

    And I don’t have kids, but if I did I would say it is absolutely not alright to get married without having sex.

    That’s completely their decission to make, but I have a slight feeling that it won’t happen anyway.

  • San Ban

    This is too creepy! Girls from age 5 are being coached in pleasing a man by denying their own desires, and fathers are obsessed with the sex lives of their daughters. It’s repulsive. The approval of the fathers for the girls’ appearance is also telling – do these girls have value apart from their “purity?”

  • Mike aka MonolithTMA

    Beyond the creepiness and brainwashing, what breaks my heart is the ones who disown their kids when they fail. I’m pretty sure I could become a serial killer and my parents would still love me, but they don’t hold me to impossible standards of perfection.

  • Tara Marshall

    Does anyone else notice the logical inconsistency here? They spend hours preaching about purity and the evils of sex, then have their girls get dressed up and made up as sexualized object to go out… with their FATHERS?! I believe the nicest thing I can say is, “ICK!”

    • Mike aka MonolithTMA

      Yep, Tara, I noticed that too. I’m not a parent, but I can’t imagine I would feel comfortable having my daughter showing cleavage to go on a date…with me. Ugh.

    • http://freethoughtblogs.com/camelswithhammers Camels With Hammers

      I’m not a parent but I’m an uncle and UGH is right!


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