M writes, Dr. Fincke, I read your article online about overcoming intellectual insecurities and it really hit the nail on the head for me, more than anything I’ve read or heard in my life concerning the topic. I’m going though a major point in my life with regards to my future, specifically my career. Basically, [Read More…]
In this article I explore the dynamics of the “friend zone” as it is typically described — involving heterosexual relationships where the man feels rejected as a romantic partner by the woman after a period of friendship. That being said, I personally know women and gay people who have experienced the same type of romantic rejection and unrequited love after developing a deep friendship with someone, so a lot of this analysis and advice is equally applicable to women and non-straight people. But I’m going to frame everything assuming a heterosexual narrative and focused on guys who feel “friend-zoned” because that’s where the controversies are typically focused.
This article has four main sections in case you want to read selectively.
The Heterosexual Friend Zoned Nice Guy Narrative
Humanizing Friend-Zoned Nice Guys
What’s Really Going Wrong For Friend-Zoned Nice Guys?
9 Tips For Staying Out of the Friend Zone and Finding Happiness Instead
Steph at Grounded Parents has a wonderful blog post up about empathizing with children stressed out by the numerous disruptions and strangeness of the holiday season. It’s a wonderful antidote to authoritarian parenting, focused on respecting children’s needs and emotions and empowering them to manage them, rather than forcing them to subordinate them for the sake [Read More…]
As a professional educator and lifelong learner, dealing with the specter of intellectual insecurity in my students and myself is one of the things I spend a lot of time doing. Here are key changes in beliefs, attitudes, and habits that I recommend concentrating on in overcoming this wholly unnecessary, self-defeating roadblock to self-empowerment and feeling [Read More…]
The BBC has an article that puts experimental research behind advice I’ve long been giving based on my experience as a philosopher and a philosophy professor: A little over a decade ago Leonid Rozenblit and Frank Keil from Yale University suggested that in many instances people believe they understand how something works when in fact [Read More…]
Dear Dr. Fincke, I am at a complete loss when it comes to my future in-laws (ahhh…in-law problems). I have identified as an atheist, openly and proudly, since I knew there was a word for what I (didn’t) believe. It doesn’t often come up, but I’m not afraid to talk about it when it does. [Read More…]
Below is my talk FtBConscience2 panel on “Philosophy For Everyone”. I appeared with Jess Whittlestone of 80,000 Hours, an effective altruism organization that helps people from all walks of life figure out how in their own occupations they can rationally determine what will create the most good, Julia Galef of The Center for Applied Rationality, which [Read More…]
Holly Hamilton-Bleakley has started a promising looking new blog called Philosophy for Parents: philosophy is about making sense of the human condition. It tries to do this by exploring concepts and phenomena that we encounter as part of our human experience, such as truth, knowledge, reality, goodness, beauty, right and wrong, reason, emotion, the soul, [Read More…]
A reader in his first successful love relationship is worried because the spark feels like it’s gone. [Read more…]