Philosophical Advice About The Friend Zone

In this article I explore the dynamics of the “friend zone” as it is typically described — involving heterosexual relationships where the man feels rejected as a romantic partner by the woman after a period of friendship. That being said, I personally know women and gay people who have experienced the same type of romantic rejection and unrequited love after developing a deep friendship with someone, so a lot of this analysis and advice is equally applicable to women and non-straight people. But I’m going to frame everything assuming a heterosexual narrative and focused on guys who feel “friend-zoned” because that’s where the controversies are typically focused.

This article has four main sections in case you want to read selectively.

The Heterosexual Friend Zoned Nice Guy Narrative
Humanizing Friend-Zoned Nice Guys
What’s Really Going Wrong For Friend-Zoned Nice Guys?
9 Tips For Staying Out of the Friend Zone and Finding Happiness Instead 
[Read more...]

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Reflections of a Post-Academic Philosopreneur

On January 1 of this year, I wrote a surprisingly widely read post with my reflections as I left academia. In response, Colleen Flaherty from Inside Higher Ed contacted me to do a piece on me. She sent me some preliminary questions and then interviewed me over the phone. Here are the answers I gave to her [Read More...]

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Philosophical Advice for a Christian Camp Counselor with Doubts

This is the long overdue debut of my Friday’s Philosophical Advice column, promised well over a year ago. I am an American Philosophical Practitioners Association certified philosophical practitioner and I have a PhD in Philosophy from Fordham University. As a philosophical practitioner I help people reason through their beliefs, values, priorities, identities, emotions, ethical dilemmas, life decisions, existential quandaries, religious or post-religious struggles, love relationships, interpersonal conflicts, search for meaning and purpose, or struggles in any other areas of life that some conceptual clarification, logical consistency, theoretical sensitivity, and emotional intelligence can be helpful. I do not treat mental illness. I simply help people reason more clearly, consistently, ethically, and proactively about their lives.

Send your questions to camelswithhammers at gmail dot com with the subject heading “Philosophical Advice”. The identities of all inquiring for advice are kept confidential and published e-mails will always use pseudonyms instead of real names. If you are interested in counseling sessions write me with the subject heading “Philosophical Practice”. All sessions are confidential. And it does not matter where you are in the world; philosophical practitioners are not bound by state certification requirements and restrictions, so you and I can meet online.

With no further ado, the first problem and my reply. [Read more...]

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