Hollywood News Flash!

Red Sox outfielder Johnny Damon to star in The Passion II: The Messiah Strikes Back

Boston Red Sox Outfielder Johnny Damon signed a $11.5 million contract to play the role of Jesus Christ in the sequel to Mel Gibson’s controversial film, The Passion of the Christ. “After I broke the curse of the Bambino, it just seemed like the next logical step,” said Damon, who helped lead the Red Sox last year to their first World Series victory since 1918. “The Sox probably won’t win this thing for another 87 years, so I think this is the best career move for me right now.”

Though many wonder why Passion I star Jim Caviezel wasn’t reprising his role as Jesus, Damon has questioned whether the slender Caviezel could be taken seriously as the resurrected Christ. As he told ESPN’s Dan Patrick, “Caviezel was great to portray the death, but for the resurrection, you need a beefed-out Christ on steroids.” In a follow-up question, Damon denied ever using steroids or knowing anyone else in baseball who ever has.

—Shamelessly ripped off from the April Fools’ Edition of
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  • http://davensjournal.livejournal.com/ davensjournal

    That’s just so….. wrong….

  • http://thunder24.livejournal.com/ thunder24

    I can see the tagline now:
    “This Time, He’s Bringing His Own Wood.”

  • http://southernmystic.livejournal.com/ southernmystic

    Hell I think it’s hilarious!