Study Finds There are More Christian Podcasts Than Actual Christians

Christian Podcasts

A recent joint study conducted by Apple, Inc. and The Pew Research Group left researchers shocked to find that there are more Christian podcasts than actual Christians. The findings have left many stunned, and others feeling vindicated.

“I knew it,” commented Julia, an avid Christian podcast listener. “I listen to more podcasts than anyone I know, and some of those that claim to be Christian are simply not. It seems literally anyone can grab a microphone and say something in the name of Christianity these days. I wish there were some rules or guidelines, for quality sake.”

The study was prompted by several claims that podcasts were being mislabeled and put in wrong categories. The most common complaint being that most podcasts filed under “Religion & Spirituality” should actually be filed in the “Comedy” or “Business” section.

While Apple has yet to make any decisions or official comments on the initial findings, rumors suggest they may use the finalized study data to conduct a “category” audit. If conducted, it is estimated upwards of 85% of Christian tagged podcasts will be removed and re-categorized. That is a number in the hundreds of millions. An audit of this scale could take years of teams working day and night.

“What boggles my mind is who is actually listening to these? They must be listening to their own,” commented one researcher. “Simple math suggests the only people listening to the podcasts are the people as they record them. I found one guy who actually hosted 14 podcasts! This whole thing makes me want to bring back my Xanga account and start blogging again. Blogging, now thats an honorable form of expression.”

At this time it’s unclear how a reorganization, if conducted, will fully affect podcasters and listeners, but the threat has many worried.

“This is not good news for my ministry. Its clearly an attack from Satan,” exclaimed one famous pastor/podcaster (who wished to remain anonymous). “But, if a reorganization does happen, I hope I get moved to the business section and wealth section. That wouldn’t be so bad. Until that happens, I will be faithful to my calling. I seem to recall a prophecy in the bible that says, ‘His podcasts shall outnumber the grains of sand.’ Someone told me that verse is in Leviticus; that’s a book of bible, right?”

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  • This is the most ridiculous lie – supposedly there are 2 billion Christians if you count the superstitious pope an Mary cult of Roman Catholicism – which Pathos does, and you probably couldn’t find a million different Christian podcasts in an honest search – perhaps the thinking here is to discourage Christians from creating podcasts in yet amother effort to suppress Christian truth.

    • Theodore A. Jones

      Well, G. C. Cloney, according to Jesus’ view of the situation he says that there are only few that ever find the gate. I’ve even ventured to speculate that the numerical value of few is perhaps 5 to maybe 10 people at most! I could be wrong it might be no more than 3, but few carries a small numerical value.
      What I find in my surveys of “Christians”, especially in its hierarchy, is that they instinctively balk at this stated fact: “For it is not those who hear the law who are righteous in God’s sight, but it is those who obey the law who will be declared righteous.” Rom. 2:13 The common response I get when I quote that statement is that these contemporary “Christians” want to go to war with me even tho I’m not the statement’s author. And that’s the way it is in contemporary Christianity.

    • Jack Lee

      George, this post is purely Satire and meant to generate a chuckle.