What Does The Bible Say About Self Pity?

What does the Bible say about self-pity? Is it sin?

What is Self-Pity?

Self-pity is a psychological state of mind of an individual in a perceived-to-be adverse situation who has not accepted it and does not have the confidence to deal with it. They could be facing real issues or it might only be the perception of it. In short, it’s like focusing on ourselves to the exclusion of everyone else and then inviting everyone to our “pity party.” The truth is, few will show up for those kinds of parties and those that do won’t be around for long because it’s hard to be around a person so full of self-pity. It is self-centered to be so focused on ourselves when there are so many in far worse conditions than we are in and often, they have no hope of escaping it. I speak from experience about hosting my own self-pity party. Thankfully, I discovered that I was focusing on myself way too much and not focusing on others. It’s so easy for us to drown in own self-pity but this renders us inoperative for God’s service. We are useless to God when we are useless to ourselves.

Overloaded

When I was working construction in my youth, we had very little of the right equipment with which to build so we often used a wheel barrow to take the concrete to the place it was being poured. Since we didn’t have a cement mixer, our supervisor told us we’d have to use a wheelbarrow but he warned us to not overload it because it’s too hard to navigate with one man. I don’t really need to tell you what happened, do I? Naturally, we overloaded it and concrete ended up going everywhere. It spilled onto the tools, open holes for sewer lines, and…my supervisor’s boots, because he was right behind me! What a disaster, all because the wheelbarrow operator didn’t take the warning to not overfill it. The same thing applies for the Christian who decides to take upon themselves the whole weight of their problems and place them on their own shoulders. Once more, I plead guilty to this but I had no excuse because I had read Matthew 11:28-30 which is in the Greek form of the imperative, so it’s a command for us, to “Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.” Like my supervisor, I should listen and obey what Jesus says; all who are laboring hard and all who are burdened down by great weights, come and take the Master’s yoke for yourself for His “yoke is easy” and His “burden is light.” The yoke is designed to share the load but in this case, we’re not told to share the yoke, but to take it! That means, take Jesus’ yoke and then put all that stuff on it! Get rid of it.

Learning Contentment

Paul could have hosted many a self-pity party and there would’ve been a lot of people showing up because they knew how much Paul had suffered. Anyone that knew Paul knew that he was deprived of nearly every creature comfort there was. Second Corinthians 1:8 is Paul’s honest testimony of suffering, that “we do not want you to be unaware, brothers, of the affliction we experienced in Asia. For we were so utterly burdened beyond our strength that we despaired of life itself.” He would echo his letter in Philippians 4:11-12 where he wrote that he was not “speaking of being in need, for I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content. I know how to be brought low, and I know how to abound. In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need.” Yes, Paul and his companions were overloaded beyond their capacity to bear it; so much so that they even despaired of life. Did that mean he entertained suicidal thoughts? I don’t think so because in the context of his “despairing of life” he “felt that we had received the sentence of death” but God made it clear to him that God wanted “to make us rely not on ourselves but on God who raises the dead” (2 Cor 1:9). Paul could have easily felt despondent and gave up since he had “labored and toiled and have often gone without sleep; I have known hunger and thirst and have often gone without food; I have been cold and naked” (2nd Cor 11:27) but God was teaching him to rely up Him! Paul didn’t stay in his “despairing of life” frame of mind for long because he said “we have set our hope that he will deliver us again” (2nd Cor 1:10b). This was because Paul had to learn how to be content (Phil 4:11-12) so just like any subject he had to learn it. So how did Paul learn how to be content in any state he found himself in? He realized that God was teaching him to stop relying “on ourselves but on God who raises the dead” (2 Cor 1:9), meaning that is resurrection, raising the dead, God-power. Can’t we trust it like Paul did?

Conclusion

Don’t you think Paul could have easily felt sorry for himself after reading 1st Corinthians 4:11-13 where he wrote, “To the present hour we hunger and thirst, we are poorly dressed and buffeted and homeless, and we labor, working with our own hands. When reviled, we bless; when persecuted, we endure; when slandered, we entreat. We have become, and are still, like the scum of the world, the refuse of all things.” That’s pretty low, isn’t it? Self-pity is a sin of pride. I know. I’ve done it, but iff we are so full of self-pity that we can’t even count our many blessings, then we’re not being content in whatever situation we find ourselves in. It’s like telling God, “God, you are not a good God.” Let Peter’s words in 1st Peter 5:6-7 sink in for a moment; “Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God so that at the proper time he may exalt you, casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you.” There are only two tents in life that we can live in; the tent of contentment or the tent of discontentment. Where you live is up to you. You can choose which tent you want to live in but if its discontentment, you won’t have much company.

Article by Jack Wellman

Jack Wellman is Pastor of the Mulvane Brethren Church in Mulvane Kansas. Jack is also the Senior Writer at What Christians Want To Know whose mission is to equip, encourage, and energize Christians and to address questions about the believer’s daily walk with God and the Bible. You can follow Jack on Google Plus or check out his book Teaching Children the Gospel available on Amazon.