How To Respond To Christian Bullies

Sadly, Christians can become bullies, and often do when attacking other believer’s whom they disagree with, so if you’ve been bullied by other believers, read these to put it all into a godly perspective.

Bully Believers

Bullies are not just found on the playground…bullies can be found at work, at church, among friends, and even in the family, but we cannot respond in kind to how they treat us with their words; otherwise we’re doing just what they’re doing and lowering ourselves to their level. That’s something Jesus never did and is grieved when we do. We should be able to disagree but not be disagreeable. We don’t have to believe everything others do, but we must agree on the essentials like the divinity of Christ, His sinless-ness, and His death and resurrection, but far too often Christians minor on the majors and major on the minors, and we end up seeing them use the Word of God as a sword against one another, and using it in a way it was never intended. One example is the gift of tongues. One man told me that tongues is so divisive in the church and that gift can become so elevated (even above Christ) that it’s all they ever do or think about, and it’s almost as if they removed the cross and eliminated preaching Christ, and worshipping a giant tongue on the altar. He said they worship the gifts rather than the Gift Giver, and more than one person has told me, “If you haven’t spoken in tongues, you must not have the Spirit of God.” What good is this kind of debate?! No good, that’s what.

Persecuting Christ

When Jesus was telling Saul that he was persecuting Him, he must have wondered how that was possible because he’d been persecuting people of “the Way,” but Jesus told him that by his persecuting believers, he was actually persecuting Christ (Acts 9:4), because when you attack other believers, you are actually attacking Christ. Here’s the image many see today: The Bride of Christ is the church, so here she comes down the aisle…but something’s terribly wrong; her dress is torn, her sleeve’s ripped, her hair is a mess, she’s got a black eye and a bloody nose, and someone outside of the church says, “Well, it looks like the church has been fighting again!” How tragic. Instead of being a light or a lamp to the world, we putting to flames those who don’t agree with us. What a sad example we leave the world. Having written articles here, I find that most of the worst persecution comes from other believers, and Satan must be laughing with delight, but Jesus, “When he was reviled, he did not revile in return; when he suffered, he did not threaten, but continued entrusting himself to him who judges justly” (1 Pet 2:23). Would it not be better to suffer wrong than to drag other believers into arguments over non-essentials, and some even taking them to court?

WestboroChurchPicketing

Leave it to God

The Apostle Paul once wrote, “Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, “Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.” To the contrary, “if your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink; for by so doing you will heap burning coals on his head” (Rom 12:19-20). Later, Paul adds, “See that no one repays anyone evil for evil, but always seek to do good to one another and to everyone” (1 Thess 5:15). Jesus told us that we are to pray for our enemies and do go to those who do bad things to us, and to “Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who abuse you” (Luke 6:27-28). Since we’re told to pray for our enemies and bless those that curse us, why do so many believers treat others who they don’t agree with, with contempt? So even though we’re to pray for our enemies, many end up saying hateful thing to believers. How this must grieve the heart of Christ Who is the Head of the Church? Again, Jesus said, “Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, so that you may be sons of your Father who is in heaven. For he makes his sun rise on the evil and on the good, and sends rain on the just and on the unjust” (Matt 5:44-45). Even in the Old Testament we read, “You shall not take vengeance or bear a grudge against the sons of your own people, but you shall love your neighbor as yourself: I am the Lord” (Lev 19:18), but that and the other commands of Christ on loving others is often ignored if they don’t agree with someone. Of course in doctrinal errors such as Jesus not being sinless, we must disagree with, but in other areas that are not essential to salvation, why do believers sometimes get so vicious with their words?

Our Words Betray Us

Jesus said that “out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks,” (Matt 12:34), so our words can betray what’s in our heart. We can claim to be a believer, but if our words are not loving, we expose what’s really in our hearts, and we break Jesus’ commands to love one another in word and in deed. We have ignored the Apostle Peter’s admonition to “not repay evil for evil or reviling for reviling, but on the contrary, bless, for to this you were called, that you may obtain a blessing” (1 Pet 3:9), and even though we’re told to “Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear” (Eph 4:29), some believers are better at tearing down one another rather than building one another up as we’re commanded to do (1 Thess 5:11). We sometimes treat our pets better than we do our sisters and brothers in Christ, and we know that “Everyone who hates his brother is a murderer, and you know that no murderer has eternal life abiding in him” (1 John 3:15). We might deny being a murderer, but our words are often anything but loving and often hateful, so “Whoever says he is in the light and hates his brother is still in darkness” (1 John 2:9). By all means, “Do not say, “I will repay evil”; wait for the LORD, and he will deliver you” (Prov 20:22).

How to Respond

When non-believers berate you and call you all sorts of names, this is actually a blessing (Matt 5:11-12), and we should expect it (2 Tim 3:12), but “If you are insulted for the name of Christ, you are blessed, because the Spirit of glory and of God rests upon you” (1 Pet 4:14). Don’t you want that? So, “if anyone suffers as a Christian, let him not be ashamed, but let him glorify God in that name” (1 Pet 4:16), but sadly, the most painful persecutions come from the “religious” or “spiritual,” and professing Christians. Contrary to that type of behavior, Christ-followers are commanded, “Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you” (Luke 6:27-28). How do we respond? We must pray for these believers who are berating other believers (and us!) over non-essential issues. Jesus prayed to the Father to forgive those who did not know what they were doing (Luke 23:34), so we must at least pray for them, and if they know what they’re doing, they need our prayers even more. Pray for them, ask God bless them, and prove to be the sons and the daughters of God (Matt 5:45). Hard? Yes…but love is the true test of the disciples of Christ (John 13:34-35; 1 Cor 13:1-7). You will know them by their fruits, not by their gifts!

Conclusion

Jesus says that others will know that we are His disciples if we love one another (John 13:34-35), but sometimes it’s hard to tell true believers from non-believers because they are not showing others that they love one another in their words…especially if the disagree about the tribulation, the rapture, the millennium, tongues, or you name it. We should “Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you” (Eph 4:32), instead of bantering back and forth over things that won’t matter in eternity. Do you have a bully in your life right now? Have you ever thought about praying for them? Maybe someone else has a bully in their life, and maybe it’s a believer, so why not share this with them right now so that they might repent of it and show the love of God with their words instead of using words to attack someone who they don’t agree with. I can see bullies being in the world, because they don’t have the Spirit of God…but for Christ-followers, we have no excuse. So the next time you hear criticism over what you believe or don’t believe, or someone else has issues with you, remember that “out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks,” (Matt 12:34), and our words reveal what’s in our heart. They can tear down or they can build up. The choice is yours, but remember, “for every idle word men may speak, they will give account of it in the day of judgment” (Matt 12:26).

Article by Jack Wellman

Jack Wellman is Pastor of the Mulvane Brethren Church in Mulvane Kansas. Jack is a writer at Christian Quotes and also the Senior Writer at What Christians Want To Know whose mission is to equip, encourage, and energize Christians and to address questions about the believer’s daily walk with God and the Bible. You can follow Jack on Google Plus or check out his book Teaching Children the Gospel available on Amazon.

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  • Salvatore Anthony Luiso

    Regarding “Would it not be better to suffer wrong than to drag other believers into arguments over non-essentials, and some even taking them to court?”: What is “non-essential”? All doctrines that do no pertain directly to salvation? All doctrines that do not pertain directly to obedience to God? Something else?

    It can be worthwhile to discuss and have respectful arguments over all sorts of doctrines which are widely considered to be “non-essential”. Consider the subject of the gift of tongues, which you mentioned. If people are obsessed with it, and say “If you haven’t spoken in tongues, you must not have the Spirit of God”, could it not be good, loving, and profitable to have a respectful argument about the subject? I do not mean an argument with people who are unwilling to listen or to consider a different opinion–there are times when arguing is a waste of time. As you know, the church in Corinth lacked wisdom in the matter of spiritual gifts, and the Apostle Paul informed and corrected them in a letter. I think that if he were here today, he would oppose obsession with the gift of tongues, and oppose the notion that only people who have spoken in tongue have the Spirit of God.

    Consider also the very popular subject of prosperity. Is it essential for a Christian to understand that faith in Christ does not guarantee health and wealth before death? I don’t think so. However, it is potentially harmful for someone to believe that if he believes in Christ he will become healthy and wealthy. It can be harmful to the person who believes it, to people he misinforms, and to the reputation of Christianity.

    There are many other doctrines which people consider to be non-essential which are worth arguing about for various reasons. Many of them are connected to the doctrines of the inspiration, inerrancy, and sufficiency of the Scriptures. For example: There are professing Christians who say that the Israelite’s violent conquest of the Canaanites was not God’s will. This may seem to be a belief that has no bearing on salvation or obedience to God, but in fact it does, because it undermines faith in the Scriptures as the Word of God.

    • pud

      “The gift of tongues” LOL

      • dagobarbz, fine Italian shoes

        😛

    • Jack Wellman

      Yes..the gift of tongues, the rapture, mid-or post-trib rapture, etc. These are not hills to die for, are thy?

      • Salvatore Anthony Luiso

        Die for: No.

        Discuss: Why not?

        The teaching that the only people who have the Holy Spirit are those who have spoken with tongues is harmful. It is conducive to pride and to false manifestations of speaking in tongues. It causes some Christians to doubt that they have the Holy Spirit, and it can even cause someone to become frustrated with God. One may think: “All of my friends speak in tongues–why won’t God give me the Holy Spirit so that I can do it, too?”.

        Therefore, if someone who believes this false doctrine is willing to consider arguments against it which are presented in a respectful manner, then why not engage that person in a discussion about it? You might not only be able to help that person, you might be able to stop its spread to other people.

        Regarding the rapture: Based upon years of personal observation, it seems to me that many of the people who believe in it are obsessed with it, and are prone to making all sorts of false connections between biblical prophecy and current events. Those are two reasons why it is problematic–there are others. Again: If someone who believes it is willing to consider arguments against it which are presented in a respectful manner, then why not engage that person in a discussion about it?

        I wonder if in the future there will be any Christians who lose faith in God because they believe that He didn’t fulfill a promise to “rapture” the Church out of the world as they had expected–if some will think to themselves: “Why does it seem as if Christians and everyone have been ‘left behind’?”.

        • Jack Wellman

          Thank you. I agree that we can discuss these things and disagree, but we should not be disagreeable with one another. That’s the point of this article.

      • Dalia

        The gift of tongues. As we know there WAS the gift of tongues. And that was for one reason and one reason only…to reach others who spoke a foreign language with the gospel of salvation. Not for self edification. So who is giving the “gift” to these supposed speakers of tongues? They say the Holy Spirit gives it to them. Wouldn’t that be a lie? People who speak gibberish, roll all over the floor, bark like doggies, attribute all these to the Holy Spirit. Isn’t that blasphemy? We all would not want people to say we said things that we didn’t, or be the cause of someone’s actions when we are not. But people take extraordinary liberties with the Holy Spirit. Wow! So maybe I’m wrong, but I call it as I know it and studied it! When one of my friends tell me she speaks in tongues, I tell her it’s demonic. When my other friend starts getting jittery because the Holy Spirit is working in her so she bounces, I tell her to rid herself of the demons. What gibberish! Why are some of us soooo tolerant of these lies! Ugggg!!!!

  • Carlos Santiago

    Some of the bullies during the advent of Christianity were the Judiazers who judged the Gentile new Christians in to following the Old Testament laws. They were condemned by Paul.

    • Dalia

      Today they are the called the Hebrew roots movement

    • barry

      Peter had become a Judaizer, at least that’s what Paul says. Galatians 2:14.

      If you want an exercise in how presuppositions and faith can blind a person to biblical truth, read any conservative commentary on Acts and Galatians, and just watch at all the twisting in the effort of the commentator to distinguish James from the legalistic Judaizers Paul opposed in Galatians 2. Lightfoot was one of 19th century Christanity’s last words to Ferdinand Christian Baur, and yet even Lightfoot admitted Paul’s contradictions of thought (i.e., desire to be authoritative while fearing possible disapproval from the mother church) is why Galatians 2 was a “shipwreck of grammar”.

      • Carlos Santiago

        I agree on the first, however Paul never advocates the duty to judge others only to encourage the bounty of good fruit. Many confusions summarise the apparent contradiction by the statement “love the sinner and hate the sin”. What is an accurate summation of a Paul is “love the sinner and hate you own sin”. That is why he summarizes the law as a New Covenent “yoke” and never ever list judging others as a Fruit of the Spirit.

  • pud

    Bla bla bla infantile gibberish

    • Dalia

      Well, well, well…..This is the ONLY thing I can agree with you…it is gibberish!

  • Judgeforyourself37

    I have seen these bullies picketing a Planned Parenthood Clinic, that along with health care, does do abortions. Some of these same picketers have probably had abortions, as one in four women will have had an abortion before she is forty.

  • ROBOT

    How about the “Christian” bullies who abuse and cheat on their wives and use alcohol and meds as an excuse, and they tell their wives: “If you can’t forgive me, you’re going to hell because you committed the greater sin of unforgiveness.”

    • Zeke Krahlin

      They infest this nation like cockroaches…heck, they’re even running the Fed’ral Gummint now!

  • dagobarbz, fine Italian shoes

    As a non-believer, I only unleash when some Christian tries to bully me into something they think I should do. From attending their church to watching that atrocious Mel Gibson snuff film, I stand fast. Push me too far, and you’ll see my superpower; the ability to drive people into a mindless rage. Doesn’t happen often, but when it does it’s amusing.

    • Greg Paley

      Who are you kidding, girl?

  • christine gomez

    Absolutely right. There are Christians who thrive on bullying and enjoy persecuting the innocent with lies because they belong to a community that attracts crowds. These mean Christians not only deceive God but mislead the body of the Church and ultimately brings shame to the Church. Many believers run after soothsayers, diviners, sorcerers not knowing they are deceivers and not faithful to God’s word but just blinded to the truth. The Word of God cannot be manipulated for self centred agendas. The warnings given to the administrators of the Church are often ignored because the things of the world seem far more attractive. Jesus said you will reap what you sow. Wickedness and injustice will surely bring destruction. To remain holy the Church should not eat from the forbidden tree.

    • pud

      “christians” all live a make believe lie. “The forbidden tree” LOL

  • pud

    The real irony in this ridiculous essay is that YOU are the greatest “bully” of them all! You make your wretched living lying to children! You make a buck by intimidating them and others with your absurd threats to join your cult or suffer eternal torment! You pay your bills by peddling fear and guilt and shame for being a human being! Everything about you screams bully! It’s your way or no way! It’s your way or the celestial dictator will rain his wrath down upon you! Everything you babble is surrounded by blood and death and punishment and slavery to an invisible thing who has your flock under constant supervision…the very definition of totalitarianism! You don’t lift people up you subjugate them, you demean them, you seek to break them of their critical thinking ability and become a mindless brainless sheep in your flock. You’re no different than a communist dictator or any king or emperor that ever existed who demands that everyone subscribe to your warped view of reality or else! Give me a better definition of BULLY!

    • Jean Camille

      You hypocrite! You are the one who rejects science and logic when it does not suit your purposes (see “When The Scriptures Say ‘But God’” DEC. 18, 2017 Comments). Now you come out with hectoring, rash and lying generalizations, and call out others on bullying? Sorry, but you do not qualify to be taken seriously.

      • barry

        I think he/she had a valid argument: Bullying in Christianity can also take the form of attempting to scare others into heaven with threats of hell, bullying is not limited to personally disrespectful comments. A person believing themselves filled with the Holy Spirit could tell an unbeliever “If you reject the gospel, I’ll send you to hell” and this would be bullying.

        For that matter, its difficult to see the God of the OT as anything other than a bully. For despite his ability to magically cause even pagans to make correct freewill choices whenever He wants them to (Ezra 1:1), he apparently prefers to simply set out Israel’s options, and then complain and threaten when they disobey. God wanted to kill either Moses or his son, and the only thing that prevented it was Zipporah performing a quick, painful and bloody circumcision with a tool far less sharp than a scalpel, then throwing the foreskin at Moses with an attached insult. Exodus 4:24-25, what’s not “bully” about this particular god?

        • Jean Camille

          The topic is worth looking at, but he is not presenting an addressable argument. Compare it with your statement and you should readily see the difference.

          It is not a topic I have researched. What commentaries and resources did you use in forming your opinion?

        • Jean Camille

          Are you sure you have understood Exodus 4:24-5? According to the commentaries, Zipporah’s comment was not an insult, but more seeking assurance that her son would not be swept up in the judgement coming on the Pharaoh and his people.

          In fact, the whole idea of God as bully is ill-conceived. It would arise only in a pampered group like our first world, euro-derived society. Contrast Babylon where palace eunuchs were completely dismembered. A gold rod was inserted to keep the urethra open during healing. If that failed and the urethra sealed, the eunuch died a slow and painful death. Compared with their world, we are a bunch of snowflakes.

          We need to keep such differences in mind before jumping to conclusions.

  • Linguagroover

    Christianity is predicated on bullying. Its god is an invisible invented merchant of hyperconditional love. So it is hardly surprising that it breeds a culture in which bullies thrive. D’oh.

    • pud

      The ultimate abusive celestial wife beater

  • james warren

    Pull the many layers off a bully and you will find fear and anxiety. Of course hardly anyone can admit to that [I am fortunate indeed that I myself can!] but the underlying intention of a bully is to protect a tender heart by using blame and pejoratives to deflect the inner pain of his/her own defensiveness.

    • Gregory Anchors

      “Christian bullies”? U mean those Stalinist pigs who killed Catholics during the Spanich civil war? Oh,wait;they were atheists. How do we kill all the atheists? Seems much more worthwhile.

      • james warren

        No. I’m talking about normative Christians who worship Christ on a pedestal instead of actually following Jesus’ teachings.

        I am a Christian who tries to follow the God I see in Jesus. Killing is satanic in my view.

        • Gregory Anchors

          Of course ur “Christian”,dufus. I bet ur as Christian as Obama,who spent 20 yrs attending a Church run by the Satanist monkey Rev. Wright. I bet ur THAT kind of Christian.

          • Chump Trump

            Greggy worships at the Church of Satan. Hes convinced hes the antichrist for the stupid Trump supporters.

          • Zeke Krahlin

            If he supports Trump, then isn’t he a /servant/ of the antichrist? Nitpicking here, I know.

          • Chump Trump

            Lol

        • Jack Wellman

          Exactly Mr. Warren. Trying to blame us for the past of which we were not there is like trying to blame the Irish immigarants (to the U.S., mostly) for the Potatoe Famine. The truth sets you free…or it makes you really mad. Even so, out of this comes a blessing (Matt 5:10-12) as I pray for these non-believers, but in my experience, most non-believers are not as extreme as this. I do like your comment about following His teachings.

      • Chump Trump

        The Catholics supported Franco you stupid inbred.

        • Gregory Anchors

          Right,dildo. And Canadians supported Stalin. And Castro. Why do u think I hate u idiots so much?
          Kill yourself & make a “good” Canadian.

          • Chump Trump

            You dumb-fuk the USA gave Stalin more war supplies during world war two than any other country.

            Uneducated dik-head.

          • Zeke Krahlin

            He’s a dumb-fuk alright…doesn’t even bother to google the Spanish Civil War, to find out the facts.

          • Chump Trump

            The guy is a total-retard. He failed history while reading comics.

          • obamabeenlyin

            Ah,but I beat yo mama to death. I learned how to do that from a comic-book.

          • Chump Trump

            Oh looking another Trump supporting psycho.

          • Chump Trump

            Greggy its almost Valentine’s Day. Do you have flowers and chocolate for your gay love the Shadow.

          • Gregory Anchors

            Retarded bitch Canadian.

          • Chump Trump

            Greggy we know youre a loser and a fucking-retard.

          • Chump Trump
          • Chump Trump

            Oh Greggy do i get a Valentine’s card.

      • Zeke Krahlin

        I never heard of no “Spinach civil war”…was Popeye in it, and whose side was he on?

        • Gregory Anchors

          Yes,retard. Popeye was in the Spinach civil war with yo mama. He spent the whole war up in her ass. That was where her brains were. She told him that’s where yours are, too.

          • Zeke Krahlin

            Okay, snowflake.

  • Zeke Krahlin

    What a load of hogwash. Who does the author think he is, talking down to non-Christians, declaring they should behave like Christians., too…that they accommodate the nonexistent words of this nonexistent deity…words and interpretations which change at the whim of Christian leaders? The mistake the writer made, is by coming off as a better-than-thou supremacist to anyone who does not follow his own, arrogant beliefs. And, even in advising Christians to be silent in such conflicts, to remain smug at heart. These Christian bullies are often threatening and violent, and deserve to be put in their place, by any means possible. They are a dangerous threat to society. They are fascists.

    • Jack Wellman

      Wow. And I am deemed a danger to society?? Your comment makes it seem to be just the opposite. You are accusing me of “talking down” to believers while you do the same to me. Hypocrisy is what they call that.

      • Zeke Krahlin

        You’re not a well man, Jack Wellman. Mine isn’t the only post condemning your article. Like many Christian zealots, you’re not very intelligent.

        • Jack Wellman

          Thanks for your reply Mr. Krahlin.

          • Zeke Krahlin

            Oh, any time. I always enjoy confronting Christian snakes in the grass…they’re all over the place!

      • Zeke Krahlin

        “Christian Crier” is the wrong name for this venue…more appropriate would be “Christian Crybaby.” I notice you don’t bother to pick an argument with anyone else on this page, who has a bone to pick with you. C’mon, go ahead, it’ll be fun!

    • Thela Ginjeet

      “The mistake the writer made, is by coming off as a better-than-though supremacist to anyone who does not follow his own, arrogant beliefs.”

      You mean better-than-thou.

      • Zeke Krahlin

        Of course. Anything else trivial you’d like to say?

        • Thela Ginjeet

          No. You’ve pretty much said it all. However, you might want to check your grammar before accusing accusing someone else of being not very intelligent, it doesn’t help your case…just saying.

          • Zeke Krahlin

            No I’m not “accusing accusing” someone of not being intelligent, I’m simply “pointing pointing” out the obvious. Furthermore: I am not looking for anyone or anything to “help” my case…it stands alone perfectly fine, with or without dim-bulb Jebus ass lickers such as yourself. Question: are you ever capable of commenting non-trivial ideas? The answer seems to be “no.” Maybe you should try again, sweetheart.

          • Thela Ginjeet

            Lol.

  • barry

    James Patrick Holding is one of the most slanderous of today’s Christian “apologists”. I was wondering how Wellman would respond to Holding’s magnum opus defense in favor of today’s Christians belittling and insulting their critics:
    http://www.tektonics.org/lp/madmad.php

    I was the guy that sued Holding for libel, twice, and Holding paid more than $20,000 in lawyer fees over the space of a year, exploiting technical trifles of the law like “jurisdiction” in his effort to avoid having to answer my lawsuit on the merits. If a Christian committed genuine libel, would Jesus want them to honestly admit the truth in a court of law, or would he want them to employ whatever tricks were invented by non-Christian lawyers that enable them to escape having to answer the charges on the merits?

    I answered Holding’s article here:
    https://turchisrong.blogspot.com/2017/05/blog-post.html

    • Jean Camille

      I think it unfair to ask comment on a specific law case, even in its hypothetical re-frame as you gave it.

      The issue, however, is worthwhile.

      I agree that abuse is not Christian, and neither is smutty language or the ill-discipline of “swear words”. The quotes you gave are an affront to the Holy Spirit and I share your distress that a “Christian” should behave so.

      It is also a pity that the idea of “challenge/riposte” should be so abused. It is new to me and gives me a frame of reference for why we value a witty remark more than deeper comments without flair. I think we need to engage robustly, but with genuine incisiveness.

      Unknowingly, I have used the idea when applying Prov. 26:5. Your work reminds us to counterbalance with Prov. 26:4

      Thank you.

    • Jean Camille

      May I ask a favour?

      Thank you very much for posting two sides of this issue. I value what you have given us here. I hope to learn from it how to respond to a certain group of people, those who seem to deliberately sow confusion.

      In the light of your concerns, will you please comment on my postings in Christian Crier article, “North And South Korea Unite – For A Time”, FEB 9, 2018?

      Blessings