Church Sign Epic Fails, “Apocalypse Now” Edition

I’ve heard Christians talk about “end times” my whole life, but it hasn’t happened yet. Maybe God-time is like the last two minutes of a football game…

Good thing is you don’t have to give any offering at this church, seein’ how they ain’t gonna be around to pay rent next month. That landlord’s such a sucker!

Wow, now that’s a church who is excited about the end times. I mean, like, REALLY excited.

Well, that would explain the whole no-sex and no-marriage thing, now wouldn’t it?

It’s kind of annoying during service though. I mean, he just walks back and forth and back and forth…what is he wearing up there, Gene Simmons boots? Gah!

So, pretty much you’re telling me the fact that your campsite doesn’t have toilets is because of…the rapture? Oh, and you forgot an apostrophe there at the end.

At first they predicted April 1, but then they figured out nobody would take them seriously if they did that!

It’s a pretty good deal, actually. For every ten raptures you buy, you get one free. And Tuesdays are double points days!!!

See, the reason we protestants broke away from the Catholic Church had a little bit to do with the whole intercessory leadership thing…oh, screw it. Never mind. As you were.

Church Sign Epic Fails, “Mormons Rock” Edition

Church Sign Epic Fails, “Family Values” Edition

Church Sign Epic Fails, “Pass the Ammo” Edition

Church Sign Epic Fails, “We Serve Minors” Edition

Church Sign Epic Fails, “God Likes Weed” Edition

Church Sign Epic Fails, “Crush China for Jesus” Edition

Church Sign Epic Fails: “Satan’s Graffiti” Edition

Church Sign Epic Fails, “Beer in Hell” Edition

Church Sign Epic Fails, “Soul Harvest” Edition

Church Sign Epic Fails, Advent Onslaught Edition

Church Sign Epic Fails, “Big Ass” Edition

Church Sign Epic Fails, “Force-Fed Faith” Edition

Church Sign Epic Fails, Hangover Edition

Church Sign Epic Fails, “Chocolate Chip Christ” Edition

CHECK OUT THE VIDEO EDITIONS OF CHURCH SIGN EPIC FAILS:

VIDEO Church Sign Epic Fails, “God Likes Weed” Edition

VIDEO Church Sign Epic Fails, “Big Ass” Edition

“Satan’s Graffiti” VIDEO edition of Church Sign Epic Fails

“Beer in Hell” VIDEO Edition of Church Sign Epic Fails

“Advent Onslaught” VIDEO Edition of Church Sign Epic Fails

“Faith vs. Reason Throwdown” VIDEO Edition of Church Sign Epic Fails

“Chocolate Chip Christ” VIDEO Edition of Church Sign Epic Fails

Church Sign Epic Fails VIDEO Debut

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About Christian Piatt

Christian Piatt is the creator and editor of BANNED QUESTIONS ABOUT THE BIBLE and BANNED QUESTIONS ABOUT JESUS. He has a memoir on faith, family and parenting called PREGMANCY: A Dad, a Little Dude and a Due Date, and Hachette published his first hardcover book, "postChristian: What's left? Can we fix it? Do we care?" in 2014. His first novel, "Blood Doctrine," has been optioned by a Hollywood production company for a possible TV series.

Christian is the cofounder and cohost of the Homebrewed CultureCast, a podcast about popular culture, current events and spirituality that has a weekly audience of 25,000 people (http://homebrewedchristianity.com/category/culturecast/).

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  • Koro Neil

    “Time for the baby Jesus to come out.” Sign on an Anglican (=Episcopal) church in Auckland, New Zealand. And the double entendre (with the rainbow halo) is deliberate. They specialise in signs like this. It’s that sort of church.

  • John

    The rapture points sign is pretty obviously constructed at one of those “create your own funny church signs” websites. It’s even got the URL in it. Oh, you knew that. OK, nevermind…


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