Church Sign Epic Fails, “New Pope” Special Edition

As a way to welcome, Cardinal Jorge Mario Bergoglio Of Buenos Aires (also now known as Pope Francis) as the new pope, I figured I’d offer a mid-week all-Catholic themed church sign sampler. Don’t forget to wash your hands!

It’s happy hour not just because they use real wine; you also get two-for-one indulgences on all sins too! Venial sins only, please.

I don’t think this comes across the way you think it does. I’ll leave it at that.

And during happy hour, those are two-for-one also!

Okay, let’s see…seventeen verses in the Bible versus millions of bones recovered and carbon dated from the fossil record. And the one that’s “factually sound” is…remind me again?

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About Christian Piatt

Christian Piatt is the creator and editor of BANNED QUESTIONS ABOUT THE BIBLE and BANNED QUESTIONS ABOUT JESUS. He has a memoir on faith, family and parenting called PREGMANCY: A Dad, a Little Dude and a Due Date, and Hachette published his first hardcover book, "postChristian: What's left? Can we fix it? Do we care?" in 2014. His first novel, "Blood Doctrine," has been optioned by a Hollywood production company for a possible TV series.

Christian is the cofounder and cohost of the Homebrewed CultureCast, a podcast about popular culture, current events and spirituality that has a weekly audience of 25,000 people (

Preorder Christian's next book, "Not That Kind of Christian: Loving God without being an a**hole," at

For more information about Christian, visit, or find him on Twitter ( or Facebook.

  • Elizabeth Anderson

    OH MY GOD “We don’t like condoms either” WHO DESIGNED THAT I AM DYING. That was THE BEST church sign I have ever seen in your “Church Sign Epic Fails” series. Oh my God. I can’t stop laughing.

  • JarredH

    What kind of god would “test man’s faith” by creating a situation in which man has to disbelieve everything his observations and reasoning tells him?

  • Ann

    The Catholic church doesn’t disbelieve the science of evolution. I was taught in religious ed that those 6 days of creation were not necessarily 24 hours long! Goodness knows that whomever came up with that dinosaur comment wasn’t thoroughly schooled in their faith.

  • Catherine

    That is bizarre, I was taught plain, ol’ evolution in a convent school in the UK in 1971.