Church Sign Epic Fails, “Monster of Hell” Edition

When I told the pastor near my house I was taking a picture of his sign for my religion blog, he was thrilled. Pretty sure he hasn’t seen my religion blog…

They must be talking about network TV. Clearly they’ve never watched HBO.

You know, I would, but there are all those words, and then I start to get really sleepy and…hey look! Frasier’s on TNT!

Yes, just sign the member ledger, and then you can burn it!

Dude, don’t tell Jesus there was a key there the whole time or he’ll be wicked pissed.

I was trying really hard to yield interest, and then I found out my soul was short-sold fifteen years ago. D’oh!

I’m not sure you can call a religious institution that’s been preaching out of the same book for two thousand years anything but stale, but I’ll take your word for it.

I told Jesus no one wanted to hang out with me. He told me to suck it up and just ask a chick out on a date already. Yeah, like that’s gonna happen.

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About Christian Piatt

Christian Piatt is the creator and editor of BANNED QUESTIONS ABOUT THE BIBLE and BANNED QUESTIONS ABOUT JESUS. He has a memoir on faith, family and parenting called PREGMANCY: A Dad, a Little Dude and a Due Date, and Hachette published his first hardcover book, "postChristian: What's left? Can we fix it? Do we care?" in 2014. His first novel, "Blood Doctrine," has been optioned by a Hollywood production company for a possible TV series.

Christian is the cofounder and cohost of the Homebrewed CultureCast, a podcast about popular culture, current events and spirituality that has a weekly audience of 25,000 people (

Preorder Christian's next book, "Not That Kind of Christian: Loving God without being an a**hole," at

For more information about Christian, visit, or find him on Twitter ( or Facebook.

  • Michael Mock

    And really, why sell your soul when a simple lend-lease arrangement can be so much more profitable in this day and age?

  • DCFem

    Did you tell the pastor the name of your blog so he can look up the picture? I’d love to hear his reaction.

    • Christian Piatt

      Actually no. He just seemed happy it was going on a blog. Didn’t seem to care where :-/