Church Sign Epic Fails, “Church Phobia” Edition

I have never run short on bad church signs to share, but in honor of Labor Day (hey, why not?), I am actually including a couple of my favorite church sing wins. Enjoy!

Also precipitated by churches who tell you how you feel and why…but that’s just a theory. Never happens in real life.

Because I’m closer to death, I get it. Thanks, I feel so much better now.

This is actually one of the best church signs ever, IMHO.

Welcome! No, not you. The good one behind you…

Another truly excellent church sign WIN. Come on guys…you can do this!!!

Yep, he crushed me, shredded me and turned me into a soda can. Not exactly what I expected, but it’s kinda like reincarnation, right?

Yeah, yeah, yeah…so where the hell is my pony???

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About Christian Piatt

Christian Piatt is the creator and editor of BANNED QUESTIONS ABOUT THE BIBLE and BANNED QUESTIONS ABOUT JESUS. He has a memoir on faith, family and parenting called PREGMANCY: A Dad, a Little Dude and a Due Date, and Hachette published his first hardcover book, "postChristian: What's left? Can we fix it? Do we care?" in 2014. His first novel, "Blood Doctrine," has been optioned by a Hollywood production company for a possible TV series.

Christian is the cofounder and cohost of the Homebrewed CultureCast, a podcast about popular culture, current events and spirituality that has a weekly audience of 25,000 people (

Preorder Christian's next book, "Not That Kind of Christian: Loving God without being an a**hole," at

For more information about Christian, visit, or find him on Twitter ( or Facebook.

  • Worthless Beast

    I laughed out loud at the recycling one.

    The last one: You don’t want a pony, unless you’re rich, anyway. Trust me, I used to do stable-hand work as the poor-servant hired-help. Horses are wonderful animals, but lots of work, and when you have to scoop their leavings every day… And the ponies – Shetlands and the like… are the worst. It’s like “How can so much come out of you, you little thing?!!!”