One time, I let God partner with me on my fantasy team, but he went and drafted, like, six kickers. Major fantasy fail, God.
God doesn’t hate the Jets. He just thinks Brett Favre is an apostate.
I kinda like the parking one.
But I drive a Kia Soul. Does that mean I get two car washes?
I actually saw a church sign that was kind of a win the other day — at the same church that had that inane “forbidden fruits create many jams” pun a few months back. Their current sign says: “Many people want to serve God — but only as advisers.” Sounds like a pithy description of most of the leaders of the Christian Right to me.