The “Those Christians” Test

No, this isn’t a test to see if you’re me. And it’s not even a test to see if you’re a Christian, exactly. It’s a way to tell if maybe – just maybe – you’re one of “those Christians” who so many that have walked away from the faith say had something to do with their departure.

As Gandhi famously said, “I like your Christ; I do not like your Christians. They are so unlike your Christ.” See, that’s a problem. And it’s not that I expect Christians to be perfect. Far from it. But if we’re ever going to be justified in claiming Jesus as the model for our lives, it might help first if there was more of a resemblance.

So with that, I give you ten ways to tell if you are possibly one of “those Christians:”

You might be one of “Those Christians” if…

  1. Your God hates all the same people you do (thank you, Anne Lamott).

  2. You think Christianity is about fire insurance, rather than about care for others.

  3. You think that going to church on Sunday gives you a license to preach at people who don’t.

  4. You talk about what you believe more than you listen to others about what they believe, or don’t believe.

  5. You think Jesus was white, or even Christian (hint: he was Jewish).

  6. You tell others what they are and aren’t allowed to do in church because of their gender, sexual orientation, political leanings or income bracket.

  7. You think that becoming a Christian somehow automatically makes you less of an a-hole.

  8. You actually get some sadistic thrill in finding reasons why other people are going to hell.

  9. You use words like “repent,” “obey,” “abomination,” “rapture,” “end-times” or “hell” in sharing your beliefs with others.

  10. You think none of these apply to you.

And no, there’s no scoring key. This is not a pass/fail kind of thing. That, of course, would be a telltale “those Christians” move.

Coming up tomorrow: The Jesus Test.

 

About Christian Piatt

Christian Piatt is the creator and editor of BANNED QUESTIONS ABOUT THE BIBLE and BANNED QUESTIONS ABOUT JESUS. He co-created and co-edits the “WTF: Where’s the Faith?” young adult series with Chalice Press, and he has a memoir on faith, family and parenting being published in early 2012 called PREGMANCY: A Dad, a Little Dude and a Due Date.

  • contantlysearching

    Truth. I think Christianity as a whole should really examine the Hell concept. Why is it there? Is it really even there? Do we think men may have constructed it? Instead, people just say “it’s in the bible so it’s real.” That is lazy and, to me, illogical. Hell is an awful, terrifying thing that makes no sense.
    So why aren’t people questioning it?

    • Karin Boris

      Hi Constantly, People ARE questioning the traditional description/notion/doctrines of hell like crazy….and catching loads of flack for it. The movie Hellbound by Kevin Miller is one example….

      • contantlysearching

        I guess I think people should be questioning louder…if that makes sense.

  • Robin Rindt Hocking

    What I don’t get is the idea that hell is based on what you believe. Do you even have control over your beliefs?

  • Fred Buster Tripp

    Did man invent God or did God invent us? Dont care really I live to love my fellow man. Churches have taken the fifth and forgot what their values are. And we are using God as a excuse to murder and plunder.

  • frommerman

    None of these apply to me because I am not a Christian. That said, all of these are reasons that I am not a Christian, despite being raised by double clergy parents.

  • Monala

    Um… what if none of these apply to you? They’re yes or no answers, ones you either know you do or don’t. The exception might be #4.

  • manoj

    CHRISTINITY
    TEACHES YOU GREED AND SELFISHNESS:

    MY BROTHER was an empoyer with aov lead by jeff idso with the
    below linekd in profile:

    http://www.linkedin.com/profile/view?id=30683503&locale=en_US&trk=tyah2&trkInfo=tas%3Ajeff%20idso%2Cidx%3A1-1-1

    JEFF IS A RENOUND AND WELL ESTABLISHED BUSINESSMAN CHRISTIAN
    IN CALIFIRNIA;

    LEADING HIS COMPANY AOV: http://www.alwaysonvacation.in/

    He Was WORKING FOR OV INC AS A MANEGR AT DELHI INDIA;

    AND THERE WAS A LOT OF STRESS IN THAT ORGNISATION DUE TO
    EBLOW FCTORS:

    INSPITE OF INDIAN GOVT MANDATE THERE WAS NO PF (DEDUCTION ND
    CREDIT OF PF), NOT COMPLYING WITH INDIAN LAWS.

    NO PROEPR WASHROMS AND REST ROOMS IN ORG…

    HARASSMENT TO EMPLOYEES AND SALARY DEDUCTIO ON BEING EVEN 10
    MINS LATE DUE TO TARFFIC,

    AND WE AS AMANGERS WERE ASKED TO PUCH EMPLOYEEES AND
    QUESTION OUR SUBORDINTES ON THE SAME; WARN THEM AND HRASS THEM TO KEEP OUR
    JOBS.

    NO NOTCE PAYMENT ON SACKING EMPLOYEES,A S PER OFFER LETTER
    GIVEN..

    NO HEALTH INSURANCE TO EMPLYEES (MORE THAN 50 AT THAT TIME
    IN 2013 JANUARY.

    I HAD SCEISOR AN INFLAMMTION FO BRAIN WHILE GOING THROIUGH
    ALL THIS AND WS HOSPITAL, WHEN JEFF WHO EXEMPLIFIED WHAT CHRISTINAITY ND US
    CULTURE HAD TAUGHT HIM AND I WAS HANDED OVER TERMINATION LETTER WHEN HE SAW THT
    I WOULD NOT BE ABEL TO JOIN OFFICE SOON,

    I NEEDED MONEY TO PAY MY HOSPITAL EXPENSES BUT I WAS MADE TO
    SIGN ON DOCUMENTS WHICH STATED, I ACCEPT MY RESIGNATION AND ALSO WILL NOT TAKE
    NY LEGAL ACTION AND DEFAME COMPANY..

    IMY BROTHER WAS IN NEED TO MONEY AND PEACE SO I SIGNED UNDER
    PRESSUER..

    BUT EVEN TODAY I FEEL BAD THINKING ABOUT THIS ND FEEL THT
    JEFF IDSO SHOUD BE PUNISHE BY JESUS IF HE REALLY EXISTS…AND SHOULD EB LESSON TO
    SUCH CAPITALIST BUSINESS WHO HARDLY THINK ABOUT EMPLOYEES, O GIVE ME CORAGE TO LET IT GO THIS TRAUMATIC MEMORY BY MY BROTHER…WHEN HE WS HOSPIATLISED WITH MS DIAGNSOED…AND AOV DID NOT APY HIM HIS SALARY AND ALSO HIS NOTICE PERIOD..AND HARASSED AN LEFT HIM OUT WITHOUT INSURANEC AND JOB..

    -*****CANNOT DISCLOE MY NAME AND BROTHER’S ANME FOR MY GOOD…..S H NEEDS EPACEAND REST TO RECOVER FROM ONE OF
    THE CRITICL ILLNESS..AND WE NEEED SOCIAL SUPPORT TO FIGHT OUT JEFF (CEO FROM
    ALWAYS ON VACATION COMPANY) AS WE WERE
    COMPELLED AT TIME OF HOSPITALSIATION OF MY BROTHER TO SIGN NOT DEFAMATION
    UNDERSTANDING..BUT THAT WAS INETHICAL FROM JEFF IDSO…

    PEOPLE PLEASE SOCIALLY BOYCOTT PEOPLE LIKE JEFF AND HIS
    COMPANY AOV…


CLOSE | X

HIDE | X