Church Sign Epic Fails, “Happy Hoover” Edition

Reaching out into the broader culture for a few Christmas fails this week. Turns out that churches aren’t the only ones capable of pulling off deliciously inappropriate signage. Yay, humans!

She’s actually so excited about this gift, she’s about to try to vacuum herself. Wait…did that sound weird?

Okay…ONE. One shepherd. Totally done counting already.

Absolutely nothing could be misconstrued about this. But gotta give them a little slack, seein’ as how they’re French and all.

Pretty clever sign, actually, except that meek people are categorically barred from using exclamation points. Punctuation FAIL!

What’s that, husband? You want to have sex? Oh, gosh, I’d love to, except I’m so enamored with my Christmas gift that I just can’t stop ironing.

Nothing says “Merry Christmas” like a big, healthy bowel movement.

It’s 106 miles to Chicago, we got a full tank of gas, half a pack of cigarettes, it’s dark… and we’re wearing sunglasses. HIT IT!!!


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About Christian Piatt

Christian Piatt is the creator and editor of BANNED QUESTIONS ABOUT THE BIBLE and BANNED QUESTIONS ABOUT JESUS. He has a memoir on faith, family and parenting called PREGMANCY: A Dad, a Little Dude and a Due Date, and Hachette published his first hardcover book, "postChristian: What's left? Can we fix it? Do we care?" in 2014. His first novel, "Blood Doctrine," has been optioned by a Hollywood production company for a possible TV series.

Christian is the cofounder and cohost of the Homebrewed CultureCast, a podcast about popular culture, current events and spirituality that has a weekly audience of 25,000 people (

Preorder Christian's next book, "Not That Kind of Christian: Loving God without being an a**hole," at

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  • stardreamer42

    Prunes are now being sold as “dried plums”. Just sayin’.

  • David_Evans

    #3 is Italian, I think, not French.

    • DreadPirateZed

      Pretty sure that’s Portuguese, actually. “.br” is the TLD for Brazil.