Church Sign Epic Fails, “Beefy Cheesy Glory” Edition

Am I the only one who is picturing a Jesus who bears a striking resemblance to Hulk Hogan right now? Guess so (sigh).

So I opened my hamburger bun yesterday and I saw Jesus’ face, right there in the bun! It was a New Years miracle. Oh, and he was delicious. [Read more...]

Church Sign Epic Fails, “Happy Hoover” Edition

She's actually so excited about this gift, she's about to try to vacuum herself. Wait...did that sound weird?

Reaching out into the broader culture for a few Christmas fails this week. Turns out that churches aren’t the only ones capable of pulling off deliciously inappropriate signage. Yay, humans!   [Read more...]

Church Sign Epic…Wins???

Technically a thanksgiving sing, but hey, some of us eat turkey at Christmas. DON'T JUDGE ME!!!

I have never had any shortage of church sign fails, but since I’m in the throes of Advent, I’m feeling particularly magnanimous. So I thought I’d share some particularly awesome sings with you this week. And yeah, it’s also a little bit of penance since I’m two days late getting these out. #PiattFail [Read more...]

Church Sign Epic Fails, “Jesus, Not Boobs” Edition

Don't look at the boobs...don't look at the boobs...GAH! I looked at the boobs.

The best thing about putting a church billboard just below an ad for a strip bar is that, every time you see boobs after that, all you can think of is “Jesus.” Good thinking, church. [Read more...]

Church Sign Epic Fails, “When Satan Attacks” Edition

Remember when your English teacher tried to explain the importance of grammar and punctuation to you, and you were like, "Yeah, nerd, whatever. I just wanna PARTY!" Yeah, this is why.

I was minding my own business, playing some Madden 2013, when Satan was all, like, “Dude gimme your tots.” and I was like, “Who are you, Napoleon Dynamite?” and he was all, “No, bro, I’m Satan.” and I was like, “Then gimme your tots, punk!” True story. [Read more...]

Church Sign Epic Fails, “God Hates the Jets” Edition

Wow, even with Tebow, God still hates the Jets. Actually, I totally get it.

One time, I let God partner with me on my fantasy team, but he went and drafted, like, six kickers. Major fantasy fail, God. [Read more...]

Church Sign Epic Fails, “Sleep With Your Mother” Edition

Part of knowing your community is preaching on the texts relevant to their reality. I'm going to go take a shower now...

Know what’s awesome? Not sleeping with your mom, that’s what. [Read more...]

Church Sign Epic Fails, “Eat Your Pastor” Edition

eat pastor

I once had a congregant tell me to take their pastor with a grain of salt…and then he handed me some cayenne and barbecue sauce. Awkward! [Read more...]


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